I've been looking for reasons,
the causes,
a basis,
some rationale,
a simple explanation,
seeking answers for these feelings
of detachment,
isolation & loneliness
& I think I stumbled upon
something significant,
momentous,
extraordinary,
perhaps even noteworthy,
I think I'm a test tube baby,
all the signs are (t)here.

We are carelessly thrown together creations ;
Living on the brink of extinction .

We are the very sign of detachment ;
No affection only self destruction .

I feel more sedated than alive,

Defying reason and questioning reality,

It’s like morbidly walking through

The endless fields of familiarity.

Slowly losing the ability to feel,

I can no longer distinct what is real,

Cold melancholy and apathy creep in my heart,

My existence becomes shrouded; like a rainbow in the dark.

Testing the bounds of sanity,

Human excess and passion flood the mind,

Releasing any bonds of any kind,

As I’m consumed by the snakes of vanity.

Laying among the ruins of my life,

As my paradise plummets down to Hell,

Because the confusion of chaos defeated me,

With kind words of reverence.

“Pride cometh before the Fall”,

As narcissism festers in self-loathing,

The feeling which makes your soul crawl,

Will cause intimacy to be exposed like clothing.

Fear is a thief for whom I hold no grudge,

And pain is a rehearsal for death.

I looked down at the abyss and took the lunge,

As my world was compressed into a single last breath.

Help fill this void inside of me.
Reach for my hand,
Before I fall.
Help me feel something else.
I am slipping away,
Into the hopelessness.
False words and artificial smiles.
Harder and harder,
Can’t distinguish truth.
Does it make you feel good,
to see me fallen and hurt?
Strings of thought,
They don’t make sense.
I can’t comprehend.
Detached from what is real,
Only demons fill this space.
Haunted every night,
By what is never there.