i am lost,
in the most dense of forests,
deepest of oceans,
and the most opaque of fogs.
search for me,
and you will become lost yourself.
disappearing through leaves,
drowning beneath the current,
evaporating into the air.
yet,
it will be as if i never went,
i was never found.

all was silent as they sat,
taking in the ocean as it flowed like quill with ink.
each stroke so masterful, yet so dark,
so deep.
the open water stretched for miles to come,
"but, what do we do now?" she says
"we enjoy it.
until it's done."
and the bomb fire rained over head,
war taking souls with each stroke of death, all so dark,
so deep.

your soul rested on mine like first frost
join me in this blissful sin
it must be crime for me to hold an actual grin
lay in this icicle hammock above frigid clouds
your soul phosphorescent
shining through my hollow cove like the brightness of first snowfall
who knew winter could be so lonely
the sun is right there but it does not warm me
it echoes my call for you but refuses to respond
the stars only hum your name
reminding me that with the spring our love has melted like the snow
but new flowers will not bud, although everyone has promised that with time they will grow
you are my only flower
even when you are shrouded in ice
i love your cold touch
it ripples through my body
illuminating cozy christmas light

I can write well again,
Because I can feel it again.
It's been an awkward few months away from you,
I wasn't sure how to act when you were gone,
I interrupted our relationship with a psychologist and something called a positive outlook.
But now that I'm back looking up at the light rather down at the darkness,
I can tell you its a much quicker fall down than it is the long climb back up.
Welcome back depression.

i peer out from my bedroom
to see the same tree standing alone
covered in moss, wilted branches, no leaves
this tree is dying
but this tree cannot voice its pain
this tree is deeply rooted in the ground, knotted with fungus eating it away
nature has destroyed both of us
but this tree cannot chop itself down
so i shall hang from the best branch left
that way someone will have to chop us both to the ground
and we'll have worked together to end the other's hurt
its rotting wood can be salvaged into a coffin
and we can rest beneath the soil where nature cannot get us

you inhale more smoke
taking more small steps to death
to feel more alive