it's a very competitive world out there
the competitive spirit is fine within limits
but it shouldn't drown the sheer joy of the game being played
it's natural to want to win
but for me, it's not natural to want others to fail

when it comes to people i love, i'm so emotionally unstable i always have this tendency to **** up our relationship because i feel too much
and it causes baseless anger outbursts and intimidating coldness. it's like i'm waiting for everyone to **** up. i mean, aren't most people? don't worry. everyone's gets better at pretending that they got so good sometimes you'd think that they have their **** together. i usually just leave. but i couldn't. now that i'm accessing a wider, deeper aspect of his world, i know i have a feeling of being trapped.

i came to a point in life where every time i breathe i wish it will be my last breathe