Gabby

Gabby Jan 2019

If home is where the heart is, then by that definition, I have no home. For I have lost it in a sea of self-hatred that was rained upon me by the words of others until I drowned in them and made them my own

#home #heart

Gabby Jan 2019

pathway

People pave over their path and line them with billboards telling others it’s the only path of life. I’ve stepped off the cold pavement and wondered past the billboards. I have found moss warmed by the sun under my feet and flowers lining either side

#pathway

Gabby Jan 2019

Wounds

Whoever told you time heals wounds, they were lying. Time doesn't heal wounds. Time just adds things to them. Covering them up. They are still there. The wounds remain no matter how many distractions Time adds. No matter how many things Time has piled over a wound it can take only one thing for all those coverups to dissipate. Time only distracts you from your wounds. You must heal your wounds. Because in the end there is only you. Time can’t heal you. You have to heal yourself

#wound #wounds #time

Gabby Jan 2019

Fire and Water

Fire and water have a lot in common.
They both reach for that which they cannot have,
But on whose behalf.
In large quantities, they can be seen as an omen.
They both are destructive,
And seen as beautiful.
They are impulsive,
But excusable
For they do not think.
Despite their similarities,
They are also quite distinct.
They sing the same song but with different melodies.
One burns the skin,
While the other burns the lungs.
One sings from within,
While the other beats like a drum.
Morbidly,
They both dance to different rhythms,
But in the same harmony.
Their ultimate goal
hidden

#fire #water

Gabby Jan 2019

Poison

The poison of our minds runs deep within our veins.
Burning holes in our already melting hearts.
The poison grows stronger with every ill thought that awakens in our heads
For it does not matter who drew the thought out of its silent slumber.
Nobody warned us that we could be the one to let our own poison run rampage in our heads.
We have built walls up against others.
Granted,
A few special others squeeze through cracks in our defenses which can lead to a devastating toll on our heartstrings.
But what about our defenses against ourselves?
Who warned us to build walls up in our own minds against our own minds?
The poison we sanction upon ourselves brings our hearts the greatest pain.

#poison #pain

Gabby Jan 2019

Home

Home is where you are supposed to feel whole.
Home is supposed to be your anchor to keep you grounded.
It's supposed to be a safe haven, somewhere when everything else feels wrong in the world, you can go home to shield yourself from all the hurt that is being thrown at you.
Home, people say, is their happy place.
Where their heart feels content.
They say "Home is where the heart is".
If that's true then my house is not a home.
My heart is not content at my so-called "home".
I do not feel at home in my house.
When I am home, I am longing to be somewhere else.
I feel homesick.
But homesick is longing for home after being away.
But I am home. I feel empty.
My heart aches to be somewhere else so much, it causes physical pain in my chest.
But why do I feel this way?
I am surrounded by members of my family.
So why don't I feel at home?
Maybe I left my heart in a house before,
Or maybe it's in a place I have yet to be.
Do you know what to do when your house is not a home?
Or when you don't know what your heart longs for?
Because I don't

#home #slampoem

Gabby Jan 2019

With Hope

With hope that runs deeper than the darkest ravine,
I had hope in you.
Hope that you wouldn't leave me to rot like all the others.
Hope that maybe one day,
When the sun has collapsed,
That you would still be there beside me.
I was wrong,
To have that hope.
That walls of the ravine fell.
Shedding light on you.
And the day that the sun collapsed came,
but you were nowhere to be seen.
So I wallow in this darkness that the sun had brought
in this wall-less ravine.
Wishing the walls never came down.

#hope