You would rather pick the petals to put on my casket
Than take back a word you have said

If I asked you nicely,
Would you break my heart

I just want to be alone
In a field
Beneath the boughs
Of a weeping willow
It may be sunny or the sky cast over
But I will shut my eyes from the world just the same

Tuck me away
In your ribs
Let me sleep
Next to your heart
And lungs
A shallow breath
For a steady beating heart

It's not my eyes I need to rest
But my heart

Peace for me
Is like finding water in the desert

I lay here
Beside you
Just as you asked
Pores thrumming with thoughts
Slumber, so sweet
Has found you tonight
I not so lucky
I clutch
My own hands together
Wandering down
The corridors of my mind
The carpet is stained
And every door closed
Some doors I knock upon
Knuckles white and bony
Other doors
I do not even grasp the handle
For I know what the oak hides
It is of no consequence to me this time
There is a door before me
With new locks
I will not lie
And say I do not know the key
Wrought metal is an old friend to my fingers
It finds itself
Between the fingers of my right hand
I unbid the lock of her duty
Taking all responsibility upon myself
My shoulders were meant for such
If only my heart
Be not so stale
Will you join me here
In the dark
I promise not to yell
The raising of my voice
Will do nothing for these settled beams
I only try to talk
With a voice
That has not found its sea legs
Tossing to and fro
Just beseeching to be grounded
In honesty
To be pulled back
Into this ocean of sheets
Drowned in such sweet slumber
That the moon begs to look upon
May the stars guide my soul
As well as they do my eyes

The rustle of leaves
Makes me restless
Sleep, you tell me, will soon be here
I say I cannot stay to wait
Running is my jacket
And leaving my footsteps
The door is swinging in the wind
I will follow the feathers the birds leave as they journey south
A way to go
Is a way made by those gone before

Am I truly this gentle
To let all things pass
I will not lean my will against yours
Will not turn my face from your sun
Yet the shadows pass across my skin
Perhaps I should have remained silent
Inquisition my great folly
Will this change us like seasons
Again and again I have returned
There is no change in the weather
No straight and narrow to wander
Philosophies spew from my finger tips
I touched you once
I fear it will not be the same
Have we changed so quickly
Here in this moment
Not yet bereft of the last
Lingering like your touch on my skin
I am not held to this
Not truly released
Not halfway vacant
Not completely full
Time will quench me
As we once did thirst together
In the dessert
Must 40 years pass
Before you dare lick milk and honey
From my fingers
Let the taste settle in the corners of your mouth
On the back of your tongue
I told you I was human
I told you I was a liar
But not a fool
All is well
There is no anger here
No pain
No paper fingers withdrawing into their sheaths
I will face you still
There is no shame here
Unless you bring it
Were you always this quiet
Bait my breathe
I will swallow your words hook, line, sinker
It is food for my soul
Draw me to you
I am the soft lines on black paper
Nothing but shadows
Am I tangible to you
Or do we pass through each others ghosts
What was
Is no more
We are slipping
Traction is temporary
We were falling
Nothing is certain
Only the end

The woman
She fell away from me
She span like mercury
Retrogradient into the night
I call her name
Into the thickness of the atmosphere
She says my name like a kiss
Like a whisper
"Goodbye"

If a glass bottle rolled up on my island I would sent it back
Its is nothing but a *****, filthy trap

Poets bleed black, red heart on grey paper
Trying to fit jagged edges together
Sandpaper hands run over tectonic fractures
Overlaying continents with soiled fingers
Causing ripples in time
That will take up eons to still
The angel of death is among us
Spreading like plague
Azrael will guide you to the gates
There you must journey alone
It is not the hand of God, nor is it his fight
Herald the dawn
That the light of life may come to you
Here angels pour out their vials upon the seas Turning tears of earth, to blood of soil
Trumpets have not yet sounded
They will ring like a great shriek of birds
Calling up famine, and pestilence of man
Your skin will rise on the back of your neck Running sweat rivers down your spine
Worming its way into the clench of your jaw
Seraphim crowd the throne, Cherubim at the stairs
Are you afraid, fear not, I am always with you
Here in the valley, flowing with milk and honey
Your seal is upon me
Protection seared into my flesh
My forehead burns
No affliction may fall upon me, at what cost
Man's coin, man's folly
A shadow on the earth
Through the corner of my right eye
I see the reaper clothed in black
His scythe reflecting moonlight
The hourglass hung by his belt holds no sand
Here are the souls
Passing through, time is liquid
Dripping through us back into soil
Tangible gravity, are you afraid
Before the throne, drawn to your knees
You will rise, no lesser, no greater, only mute
Walk among the living, but without their voice
The scroll will open like the wings of an eagle
Heaven's choir filled with the sound of angels
Do not be afraid, lift your hands
Your palms bind themselves with the book of ages
Commandments set in the stone of your palms
Dried under the light of a dying sun
Written rivers up your wrists
Your eye in your forehead is open
Spirit shining through, this is light in the dark
The way of priests
Speak not and you will know
I am the raw work of your words
Newborn beneath heavens and angels
Hold no fear, in the matter between your ears
I am with you always even to the ends of the earth

I miss when trust came easy
I miss life before you

I knock on your chest
Asking you
To open up your ribs
So I can climb inside
It is warm here
Next to your beating heart
And the rhythm
Lulls me to sleep

Rich without money
You rule without castle or throne
A kingdom of hearts
Won by conquest

You lay siege to minds
And twist my emotions
You can be clear like glass
The strongest of you
Are the only ones that last

You cannot run
But you can hide
Here you dwell
Deep inside

If I had two choices
You would be the third
You have wings
But are no bird

You teach and you grow
But how you travel no one knows

You cannot speak with a voice
But you talk by my choice

A chosen pain that we bear
A curse to heavily laid on the fair

How many more of my dreams
Do you think
That you can fit
Inside your hands

But

The more you fill
Into your palms
The tighter the space
The warmer it is
The harder it is to breathe

So as you squeeze
To hold them in
To never let them go

They will think
You mean to trap
Them in a forbidden hallow

To keep for ever
With no expanse
To die of love
And airlessness

To tremble in your palms
As you hold them tight
To tight

But

You just thought
You were doing right
How could you not
You were just doing right

cry me a river
build a bridge
and get over it

I wanted you to be the river in me
Move the way you want
Just rush through me
The earth will make way
For your waters to surge
Till you reach the edge
Push me off the verge

If you walked in room 144
Took in the windows and the door
Locked up your heart
And threw it way

It would be a reminiscence
Of me in that sense
There, gone, changed
My whole world rearranged

If you sat on my desk
And flirted with ghosts
Drank all the bottles
Commanded the toasts

You would feel empty
Though you had drunk plenty
In room one hundred and forty-four
Please, knock on the door

I won't answer, I never do
But in my heart I feel it to
I feel the oak and the thud
You open it, and see the blood

Of memories painted on the sky
To see the symbols and question why
One step, the evidence to destroy
One finger print, from a single boy

The one I loved, and told so much
Like all my days those felt rushed
Now I swim in thicker air
Finding nothing better there

Move on, they all said
Now they see, their words are red
Written in blood on the walls
For each word, someone falls

You could kiss me on my eyelid
You can, just as he would
You could kiss me on my forehead
He did, and now he is dead

That death drags down my heart
Through my stomach and tears it apart
Down to my feet so I can't run
It happened. It's over. It is done.

No one wins in this game of hearts
We all just become less than we were at the start
You play with bottles and bodies
Playing poker, dressed so scanty and gaudy

No one wins, you can't even fold
So strip your pride, do what you're told
Less that today, more than tomorrow
And drink yourself until you have no sorrow

You never remember, not in the morning
But the bottles speak of much mourning
Sad, salty tears, run through your veins
Reaching your head, racking your brain

You kiss the mouth of the glass
Hoping to make the nightmares pass
You wish today into the past
Nothing to keep, nothing to last

Room 144, my memories coffin
In my mind, I travel their often
To remember, the sights and sound
To dance my memories into the ground

My home and my cage
Trapped here in jealous rage
Quiet I sit, and quiet I stay
Until you find me, one day

I say your name like a prayer
The last thing I sing before I die
I press the beads to my lips
And the tears I cry

You planted roses in my heart
     Now I am overgrown
With these thorns in my lungs
     And petals blooming out my eyes
The only reason my head is held high
     Is because of the stems in my throat
And still you bring me bouquets
     And still I pluck away
He loves me...
     He loves me not...
He loves me....
     He loves me not.

Be so genuinely kind
That everything bad they say about you turns to lies
What is patience without love

This single drop of blood
Rivulating from my heart
Trying to run away
To be lost from the emotions

You trace your way
Down my scarred arms
And twist in agony
So deep into the night you dance

I fear you shall never return
You long for another system
With a steadier beat
And when the night comes

The trace you leave is sweet
I wiped you away
To forget the pain
But in this life

I drive myself insane

I was a fool
When I asked to feel something
God couldn’t you have chosen
Anything, but this
Anyone, but me

Do not tell me of my strength
My resilience
My stamina

She is a strong tower
She is a mighty fortress
I run to her
I run from you
I run

in the matters of what I have done
no other holds higher guilt

in the matters of love and trust
forgive me until I am barren of innocence

I gave up to the eternal
The only thing I ever wanted for myself

I gave up you.

Now the tears on the threshold are dry
Not so the stains on my soul

If I could learn to give of myself
I would give it up to you

It's as if I stayed awake just to be sad in the dark

I love to hear stories
About girls who love their mom's
I live vicariously through them
As I have died so tragically
Through my own

No one told me sadness felt like this
I cannot help but wonder if they did not know

This is why I feel so alone

The light bends a little
When we come to this place in the middle
Your safe place is a little to the left
I run to you just a little bit West
I seek you out in the in between
Breathing in sweet and musky, ethene
My soft hands against yours
Water splashing against iron rod
While I wait for my sins
To climb their way up to God

If patience is for fools
You will find no wisdom in me
The hands of an anchor do nothing
For the heart of a full sail
Let the waves come
They have met me before
And if they do not remember
I will remind them;
That the salt in my veins is no less than that found in her depths

The saltiness in my bed
Between these crisps
My tears
And everything in my head
It's almost the flavor of an ocean

This was my sanctuary
But now it is **broken

If I could chose to fall in love
I would not choose to fall in love you
Because falling hurts
I would simply love you
With all that I am
Because without you
I am dessert
Dry empty and barren
Wreaking havoc when the winds blow
Because I cannot chose in my right mind
To ever let someone like you go

The pine scent in your hair is a gift from the muse in the forest
These trees are ancient
They hold no ache that the sweetness of their sap running in the awakening will not sweeten beyond memory

People sometimes say,
You don't have to sleep alone
But I didn't know
My nights were yours to own

You tried to take
Things that can only be given
Forced me to believe
That dying was truly living

Didn't want blankets
To get in your way
So you took my heart
And threw it away

So many parts
Taken without privilege
Left with scars
And night to re-live

You spilled your lies
Inside of my weakened soul
And said "It's okay"
"It will make you feel whole"

So as my emptiness
Spilled out on the sheets
I knew my life
Had took different streets

So many twists
Like curves on my body
I tried to be good
But you wanted naughty

I beat myself up
For the scars you inflicted
I gave you a bucket
I wish you had kicked it

So dark was the night
Brighter than your intention
But the light came again
Something you forgot to mention

I should have run
At the first "I Love You"
It was a bad lie
But what could I do?

Three weeks in
And I wanted to die
After one night
I should have said goodbye

Instead of kissing
The scars on my frame
You made them anew
And wrought me in pain

I wanted to get over
But you wanted to come in
And so I died
On the outside and within

The illusion of glass
To walk right through
But I could see
The evil in you

Trapped in the sheets
You tangled my soul
You strangled my heart
And now I don't know

What it is
To breathe fresh air
Because this gas
Tastes like your share

You cavorted inside
To never break me out
I knew you were
Bad, never a doubt