Do you ever isolate yourself?
And then wonder inside your heart
Why you feel so ******* alone?
And it hurts so much.
I can bear it but I don't want to.

White on black ink
Let it sink
In ****** skin
Life seeping out
Gold within
Hollow bones
Aching cold
Praying for
Hands to hold

She is breathless in wonder
At all that lay before
Green may be more than a color
And blue more than a shade of sky
For how can you reduce such beauty
To a color and a scheme of land
Could you not say it is how you felt
When you looked upon such a thing
You would never want
To tear your eyes away
Even when the storms
Came down to visit the mountains
You would see the beauty in the anger
And be breathless all the same

Patient are leaves
Already fallen from the trees
Some cling to promises of the wind
Their trembling says much of oaken oaths
Stamina is a stem
This is your sap
Running dry in the forest
These paths no longer for me
A wanderer has no home
It is every place she goes
You will not return with me
This is a forethought and a promise
Barren is the bend in the road
You find shame in the journey unfinished
Will you not see the end
This fist holds nothing against you
Much can be hidden in branches that will not bow

If I tell you
That you love me
Then I don't have to
Say it back

Rushing and cascading
To reach the broken promises

Before you discover my untruth

For I as a poet

Have everything to lose

We are quite dark in the middle
That is where I go

You ache
Pain is a death demanding and unforgiving
Hoping the shadow of a cigarette
Will veil this agony again
Smoke lungs breathe roses
Black thorns for a restless night
I dare not walk this way again, not alone
Simply forgotten

I am overflowing!
In but an instant, I am empty
Drained
And the water pours out my eyes
Like a river in spring
I watch them go
No part of me tries to pull them back
I sit on the ground
For my legs will not hold me
Their strength has left with my tears

If only I could lay in the earth
Let her swallow me up!
I am not bitter
This is not sweet
I do not even bite the inside of my cheek, or the back of my hand
Just letting that thing in my chest
That has been quiet all my life, ache
There is hope
But it is not in me
I will mourn, with all my heart
So this is loss?

It goes so much deeper than I thought it could.

It's creeping in again
A door I thought was shut
It is an ache
And it throbs oh so much

I was so caught up in the art of giving away
That I misplaced myself in the cardboard boxes at the end of the driveway

I don't need a man
To help me
Or to understand

I don't need your face
I just need time
And I just need space

But without you I am lost

I am trapped in a small space
Between two sturdy walls

The air is running out
And I find it hard to breathe

Without you I still have purpose
But I question if it is worth it

The tides rise and they fall
Like my problems don't matter at all

The hill continue to roll and bloom
But the tears come to soon

Without you my paradise is missing pieces
Without you the sea freezes

You are a perfect 'x'
In the right spot

You are someone that I loved
Someone that I lost

I have been told there is another world under the sea
This is why I tell you that you have ocean eyes

There are words I hold in
Drafts rooted in the stumps of my fingertips
That may never branch into trees

Maybe it was just our part of the world caving in on its self
I screamed loud enough for all of us
I don't save much of my breath
For tomorrow's end of the world

Love like Alaska
Tear through the town
Love like Alaska
Knock everything down

Kiss like Kansas
Use lots of force
Kiss like Kansas
Cuz you know what's coming is worse

Walk like Wisconsin
And be confident
Walk like Wisconsin
Like your the one God send

There is one thing I have learned
That this sorry life has taught me
Time and time again
It is that when you are at a ******
Or lost in a dark abyss
The ones that you love most
And cherish above all the stars in the sky
They will not let you down
But that love will hurt
The knives will come pouring like water
Out of broken once love-kissed lips
They still promise to catch you
But they will not stand by your side
And when the waters rise above your eyes
The shall be your lighthouse
Where they used to be anchor
Once fun-filled careless words
Now guarded by white dragons
Holding back a beast you used to tame
And when the darkness comes they will not be the light
They will merely stare through the window
Watching from the night
I have told myself never to trust
No matter the cost
But the cost of not trusting is humble
Compared to when that trust is broken
So shattered pieces of glass
That my feet tread upon
Let the blood weave a trail
Of something deeper and more beautiful
And live your life for love
Something less that dutiful
I cannot teach you my lessons that I have learned
Merely show you the scars where I got burned
As each soul rises to heaven
Compared to a setting sun
So I will rise
And it shall be done
A final drink so bitter-sweet
A final breath a solemn treat
So love with all your heart but not with all your strength
For it will be your savior in your grave hour

I dipped my back into your couch
And you fell into me, lips first
Firm pressure on my mouth
Gentle touches tracing my body

You traced my curves with your hands
I breathed you in like I'd never had air
There was no space between us
Your body my blanket and shield

I pull you to me
Savoring the your taste
It lingers for days on my lips
I long many days for your kiss

As I lay beside you
Hand on your chest
Head on your should
Heart in your hands

I feel this beating in my chest
A beat to drown out all the rest
No whispers could ever contain
All I seek, is to remain

Hold me close
Don't you dare let go
For once I fall
I melt like snow

I breathe you in
In every embrace
Between your arms I belong
This is my place

What is our existence degraded to?

I don’t see anything in my dreams
It is they who are watching me

You told me once
Of when you prayed for bread
Acid rain came down that day
I then learned of reality

If I go into the woods tonight
Will I smell another mans smoke
Or am I so greatly delusioned
To truly believe I am alone

These monsters come and go
My chest a revolving door
A heart hotel
A coffin of nightmares

Angels speak, I do not listen
Prayers quiver in the morning air
I am not there
Not patient enough to wait

Scars on my back spread
Along my limbs
Vines growing on a brick wall
Neither of us will ever find heaven

I never shut up about the moon
She's always there
How I do love her company
When I'm making myself out to be lonely

Is it wrong to assume
Stars are another worlds
Parking lot lights
I don't have all the answers

I find no humor
In the irony of doing what's right
As we go along
I find I was betraying my future

When will I learn
Trying to love this way
Is like trying to dance
With a broken leg

Even after I pass
I will not of told
All the stories in me
They are in bones

I call you foolish mortals
Take it as praise
I will not even name my self
There is great folly in wisdom

If only happiness
Was as aggressive
As the pain
I hold space for

Bury me shallow
In the autumn floor
I hold myself no greater
That the earth

I cry out under the heavens
The veil is thinning
How do you deny
The pulse of the spirit world

Know me now
But not my name
She is the secret whisper
In the thickest of your veins

Maybe once we would have lived
Thriving on the chaos
Hand fed to us by the universe
We were foolish then

Someday wisdom will come to us
We will not know her face
Fair chance she is already among us
Thinly veiled

Do you remember
The first time you smoked
The way it stopped in your throat
How it brought your stomach up

Know when I think of you
It is the same for me
You are a bitter tar taste
I light you up again

Only to spit you out
You coat my tongue
The inside of my cheeks
With your black smoke veil

I asked for depth
You delivered
I cannot back out now
There is no where but up

Those in the dark
Beg for light
Those in the shadow
Wish to stay hidden

I am the ***** sinner
In the bathroom
Trying to scrub myself clean
Of smoke and saints

I was warned
The path of the traveler
For those with thick soles and thicker skin
Thick souls and thinner whims

I set out like a dead man on a quest
Like a fool
With my best foot forward
Not knowing which was is South

You prayed me greener pastures
I just prayed for you
Here we are
Hollow promises, hearty prayers

We ache for what we had
Knowing fruit in the sun
To quickly turns bad
Sour sugar in the soil

The dents you made in my perfectly made bed
The cracks you left in my China cup
The tears your left to fall down my face
The dreams you left to be watered

The scars I made along my arms

You left your marks and I left mine
But which ones will withstand time

Sinner, saint, martyr, man
He who is without sin
Casting stones in the desert
Until spears pierce skin

Tradition to cover my head
Practice what you preach
Stones words tumbling
Caught between teeth

Not heaven, not earth
Shallow graves and the ******
Seated at a table
Where sinners hold hands

A hungry man's prayer
On the lips of a priest
Ache of an empty stomach
Feed the head of the beast

Break body and bread
The last thing on the mind
Water in the glass
Dripping with wine

Turn tables and tricks
With righteous anger
Biting a bitter tongue
To keep out of danger

Saint's digging their graves
In the name of gospel words
Spitting out fire
Things God never heard

Hail Mary full of grace
Communion, crucifixion
Ye though I walk through the valley
I will fear no affliction

Nails in palm
Who would see heaven fall
Turning deaf ears
To a righteous call

Martyr's nailing
Paper sins to the cross
Casting lots for wages
Not knowing the cost

A man's sacrifice
Curtain splitting in two
A thorn crown
Biting like a tattoo

Holy of holies
Laid bare under heaven
Collecting in baskets
Body of man, unleavened

Who are the righteous
Who can know God

Maybe
Maybe I was dazed and confused
Or maybe
Just maybe
Maybe it was love

Maybe

In the end
The maybes never matter

I just want to die
And I don't want you to understand

I am not okay
And I don't have the energy to explain why

I'll tell you I am fine
But I have crossed all the lines

Just let me go
So I can sleep forever

it just kind of happens
and I don't know what to do
but I know I am lost
without you

How beautiful it was to know you
And now it is what I cannot forget

The shackles of my spine remember you
Better than my lips will ever confess
Your tongue will once again
Crawl out of your mouth
To beg forgiveness, like I begged you for love
The candles I have lit
To my alter of your memory
Would do better to drip wax in my eyes
Then I would remember you as things had been
From the eyes of a full moon
All looks to be well
Troubled waters sleep, before the rise
Even the sun takes rest
Before apollo lights tomorrow's skies

What more could I add to our memories that the desire for them always to continue?

I was a different person when I thought these things
Oh that she could return to me now, and shake me from who I have become
This mind is futile in many things
I cannot remember all that has passed before my eyes
Concrete is poured in, to the cracks in my memory
There are so many holes and yet the faces remain the same
The faces in the back of the mirror, the faces on the other side of the window
And the faces that I know I would see if I opened my eyes in the night when I am paralyzed with fear
The dreams then come and go, and come again to haunt me
The fear she is here and she stays settled in my stomach
I remember much, but it is still to little
I was but a child but I did not know
I am grown now but still I do not know
Such I have become that which is inbetweeen
I am threaded between memories and reality
That I have felt but cannot remember the taste on my tip of my tongue
Do you know of me or why I made these scars
Have you seen me in the dark of night daring not to move a muscle
I could bang my head against the wall again
Counting up until the hundredth time
I clench my hands to draw blood from my palms
So that it will match the scarlet and ebony of my wrists and soul
I am made of dreams
The paint the wall of my mind
I am made of memories
They claw their way out my eyes

Oh the wolves still chase me
And the faces appear
This is life, and this is fear