Hello Poetry
Submit your work and get some sparkles! Create free account
"wot" poems
Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer was leading a lonely life working nights at the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory where he was in charge of loading crates full of fukfoorfiffenfimmers, onto cargo cars destined for the city of Cincinnati. There was such a huge demand for fukfoorfiffenfimmers in the city of Cincinnati, poor Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer worked his hunnyhush to the bone. On one of his few holiday weekends, Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer went to a hair salon for a trim. Here he was attended by a hairdresser named, Henrietta Huckhellopolis. Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer instantly fell for the husky-voiced hairdresser. Gaining enough gumption and gallasisgoppingguff needed to bypass beating around the bush of courteous courtship, Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer asked Henrietta Huckhellopolis if she wanted to leerlumpaloomp later that evening. "I would love to leerlumpaloomp later this evening," she replied, batting her long lashes lustily. And how those two leerlumpaloomped! They leerlumpaloomped long through the night. They leerlumpaloomped so loudly, the neighbours ended up sticking stuffystoils into their sensilivities, in hopes of drowning out the noise. Nine months later, the lovers were blessed with a litter of lullaloonillies—wot with the loud leerlumpaloomping and all. But, of the seven lullaloonillies, four of them had two lumpalots instead of one. Bolstering himself against drowning in despair at the prospect of having sired freak lullaloonillies, Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer helped design fukfoorfiffenfimmers especially meant for lullaloonillies who have two lumpalots instead of one. As the double-lumpalot fukfoorfiffenfimmers were Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer's idea, the owner of the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory gave Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer a forty percent cut of the royalties. *Fortunately some fairy tales come with a happy ending, because the city of Cincinnati was hit with a record number of lullaloonillies born with two lumpalots instead of just the one. The high sales of double-lumpalot fukfoorfiffenfimmers, enabled Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer and Henrietta Huckhellopolis to quit their jobs and buy into the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory. Yes, after getting married, Harry Heironymous and Henrietta Huckhellopolis-Huffenhoffer lived happily hever hafter. So did the lullaloonillies.... including those with two lumpalots instead of one.*
0
Sep 6, 2011
Sep 6, 2011 at 1:16 PM UTC
When Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer Met Henrietta Huckhellopolis
Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer was leading a lonely life working nights at the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory where he was in charge of loading crates full of fukfoorfiffenfimmers, onto cargo cars destined for the city of Cincinnati. There was such a huge demand for fukfoorfiffenfimmers in the city of Cincinnati, poor Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer worked his hunnyhush to the bone. On one of his few holiday weekends, Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer went to a hair salon for a trim. Here he was attended by a hairdresser named, Henrietta Huckhellopolis. Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer instantly fell for the husky-voiced hairdresser. Gaining enough gumption and gallasisgoppingguff needed to bypass beating around the bush of courteous courtship, Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer asked Henrietta Huckhellopolis if she wanted to leerlumpaloomp later that evening. "I would love to leerlumpaloomp later this evening," she replied, batting her long lashes lustily. And how those two leerlumpaloomped! They leerlumpaloomped long through the night. They leerlumpaloomped so loudly, the neighbours ended up sticking stuffystoils into their sensilivities, in hopes of drowning out the noise. Nine months later, the lovers were blessed with a litter of lullaloonillies—wot with the loud leerlumpaloomping and all. But, of the seven lullaloonillies, four of them had two lumpalots instead of one. Bolstering himself against drowning in despair at the prospect of having sired freak lullaloonillies, Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer helped design fukfoorfiffenfimmers especially meant for lullaloonillies who have two lumpalots instead of one. As the double-lumpalot fukfoorfiffenfimmers were Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer's idea, the owner of the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory gave Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer a forty percent cut of the royalties. *Fortunately some fairy tales come with a happy ending, because the city of Cincinnati was hit with a record number of lullaloonillies born with two lumpalots instead of just the one. The high sales of double-lumpalot fukfoorfiffenfimmers, enabled Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer and Henrietta Huckhellopolis to quit their jobs and buy into the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory. Yes, after getting married, Harry Heironymous and Henrietta Huckhellopolis-Huffenhoffer lived happily hever hafter. So did the lullaloonillies.... including those with two lumpalots instead of one.*
Continue reading...
37
Iym onna mishon forra gerl krossing China jus to si her ona slo chrayn going west krossing mouwntins in my kot. Shis onna mishon for tha boi fly eirchina for to si mi bundling legings inna bag wot to bring and wot to not bring your person bring your boots spanix boots and spanix wyn put your bodi in this plays taiwan boox and qinese wyn i wil sit heer lyk an ox wayting unda shaydi tri wayting hyuman wil tu find me pat my **** and skweez my ni qyneez wyn qyneez wyn wyn in qyneez qyneez wyn pump my rat and wyn qyneez shaydi tri with pengyou lao thingking hyuman tu gud tu mi wy *** look for stinki kao
0
Mar 20, 2012
Mar 20, 2012 at 8:47 PM UTC
Pidgin Tongued
Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT? Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or a chair, or SQUAT, The Akond of Swat? Is he wise or foolish, young or old? Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, The Akond of Swat? Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk or TROT, The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or COT, The Akond of Swat? When he writes a copy in round-hand size, Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, The Akond of Swat? Can he write a letter concisely clear Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, The Akond of Swat? Do his people like him extremely well? Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, At the Akond of Swat? If he catches them then, either old or young, Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or SHOT, The Akond of Swat? Do his people **** in the lanes or park? Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE, The Akond of Swat? Does he study the wants of his own dominion? Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, The Akond of Swat? To amuse his mind do his people show him Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, For the Akond of Swat? At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, For the Akond of Swat? Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, The Akond of Swat? Does he like to lie on his back in a boat Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, The Akond of Swat? Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or Russ, or a SCOT, The Akond of Swat? Does like to sit by the calm blue wave? Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, The Akond of Swat? Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a *** The Akond of Swat? Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, When she let the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT. The Akond of Swat? Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, The Akond of Swat? Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? Does he sail about on an inland lake in a YACHT, The Akond of Swat? Some one, or nobody, knows I wot Who or which or why or what Is the Akond of Swat?
0
3k
The Akond of Swat
Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akond of SWAT? Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or a chair, or SQUAT, The Akond of Swat? Is he wise or foolish, young or old? Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, The Akond of Swat? Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk or TROT, The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or COT, The Akond of Swat? When he writes a copy in round-hand size, Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, The Akond of Swat? Can he write a letter concisely clear Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, The Akond of Swat? Do his people like him extremely well? Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, At the Akond of Swat? If he catches them then, either old or young, Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or SHOT, The Akond of Swat? Do his people **** in the lanes or park? Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE, The Akond of Swat? Does he study the wants of his own dominion? Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, The Akond of Swat? To amuse his mind do his people show him Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, For the Akond of Swat? At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, For the Akond of Swat? Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, The Akond of Swat? Does he like to lie on his back in a boat Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, The Akond of Swat? Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or Russ, or a SCOT, The Akond of Swat? Does like to sit by the calm blue wave? Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, The Akond of Swat? Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a *** The Akond of Swat? Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, When she let the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, The Akond of Swat? Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT. The Akond of Swat? Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, The Akond of Swat? Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? Does he sail about on an inland lake in a YACHT, The Akond of Swat? Some one, or nobody, knows I wot Who or which or why or what Is the Akond of Swat?
Continue reading...
88
THE ONE ABOUT... "Did you hear the one about..." Death's already laughing "...a fireman, a butcher & a janitor walked into a War..." Death loves to tell this joke Sometimes Death changes the details "...a guy from Omaha, Ohio & Nebraska walked into a War..." "...and the shell fell into the hole they were cowering in..." Death cracks up "...an 18 year old & two guys of twenty walked into a War. . ." "Wot's yer poison?" Death snickers "...some guys called Sam, Hank & Frank walked into a bar in a War and they don't ever ever walk out..."
0
Oct 2, 2025
Oct 2, 2025 at 2:54 PM UTC
THE ONE ABOUT. . .
I know wot steps not to take caused in me the previous mistakes I have driven swiftly down memory lane, I have now misled the old habits of incompetence, incompleteness and intolerance into isolation. I have now become a thing of substance ready to be filled again but this time around I take responsibility for my choices. In my head is the lyllaby of SPECIAL FRIEND singing I oppose the feeling of remorse and hug tight love and self forgiveness. U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DIS MEANETH COS U HUNGERETH TO LEAD NOT
0
May 26, 2012
May 26, 2012 at 6:57 AM UTC
lesson
I wonder 'oo and wot 'e was, That 'Un I got so slick. I couldn't see 'is face because The night was 'ideous thick. I just made out among the black A blinkin' wedge o' white; Then biff! I guess I got 'im crack -- The man I killed last night. I wonder if account o' me Some ***** will go ***** And 'eaps o' lives will never be, Because 'e's stark and dead? Or if 'is missis damns the war, And by some candle light, Tow-headed kids are prayin' for The Fritz I copped last night. I wonder, 'struth, I wonder why I 'ad that 'orful dream? I saw up in the giddy sky The gates o' God agleam; I saw the gates o' 'eaven shine Wiv everlastin' light: And then . . . I knew that I'd got mine, As 'e got 'is last night. Aye, bang beyond the broodin' mists Where spawn the mother stars, I 'ammered wiv me ****** fists Upon them golden bars; I 'ammered till a devil's doubt Fair froze me wiv affright: To fink wot God would say about The bloke I corpsed last night. I 'ushed; I wilted wiv despair, When, like a rosy flame, I sees a angel standin' there 'Oo calls me by me name. 'E 'ad such soft, such shiny eyes; 'E 'eld 'is 'and and smiled; And through the gates o' Paradise 'E led me like a child. 'E led me by them golden palms Wot 'ems that jeweled street; And seraphs was a-singin' psalms, You've no ideer 'ow sweet; Wiv cheroobs crowdin' closer round Than peas is in a pod, 'E led me to a shiny mound Where beams the throne o' God. And then I 'ears God's werry voice: "Bill 'agan, 'ave no fear. Stand up and glory and rejoice For 'im 'oo led you 'ere." And in a nip I seemed to see: Aye, like a flash o' light, My angel pal I knew to be The chap I plugged last night. Now, I don't claim to understand -- They calls me Bonehead Bill; They shoves a rifle in me 'and, And show me 'ow to **** Me job's to risk me life and limb, But . . . be it wrong or right, This cross I'm makin', it's for 'im, The cove I croaked last night.
0
2.7k
Bonehead Bill
I wonder 'oo and wot 'e was, That 'Un I got so slick. I couldn't see 'is face because The night was 'ideous thick. I just made out among the black A blinkin' wedge o' white; Then biff! I guess I got 'im crack -- The man I killed last night. I wonder if account o' me Some ***** will go ***** And 'eaps o' lives will never be, Because 'e's stark and dead? Or if 'is missis damns the war, And by some candle light, Tow-headed kids are prayin' for The Fritz I copped last night. I wonder, 'struth, I wonder why I 'ad that 'orful dream? I saw up in the giddy sky The gates o' God agleam; I saw the gates o' 'eaven shine Wiv everlastin' light: And then . . . I knew that I'd got mine, As 'e got 'is last night. Aye, bang beyond the broodin' mists Where spawn the mother stars, I 'ammered wiv me ****** fists Upon them golden bars; I 'ammered till a devil's doubt Fair froze me wiv affright: To fink wot God would say about The bloke I corpsed last night. I 'ushed; I wilted wiv despair, When, like a rosy flame, I sees a angel standin' there 'Oo calls me by me name. 'E 'ad such soft, such shiny eyes; 'E 'eld 'is 'and and smiled; And through the gates o' Paradise 'E led me like a child. 'E led me by them golden palms Wot 'ems that jeweled street; And seraphs was a-singin' psalms, You've no ideer 'ow sweet; Wiv cheroobs crowdin' closer round Than peas is in a pod, 'E led me to a shiny mound Where beams the throne o' God. And then I 'ears God's werry voice: "Bill 'agan, 'ave no fear. Stand up and glory and rejoice For 'im 'oo led you 'ere." And in a nip I seemed to see: Aye, like a flash o' light, My angel pal I knew to be The chap I plugged last night. Now, I don't claim to understand -- They calls me Bonehead Bill; They shoves a rifle in me 'and, And show me 'ow to **** Me job's to risk me life and limb, But . . . be it wrong or right, This cross I'm makin', it's for 'im, The cove I croaked last night.
Continue reading...
64
You make it in your mess-tin by the brazier's rosy gleam; You watch it cloud, then settle amber clear; You lift it with your bay'nit, and you sniff the fragrant steam; The very breath of it is ripe with cheer. You're awful cold and ***** and a-cursin' of your lot; You scoff the blushin' 'alf of it, so rich and rippin' 'ot; It bucks you up like anythink, just seems to touch the spot: God bless the man that first discovered Tea! Since I came out to fight in France, which ain't the other day, I think I've drunk enough to float a barge; All kinds of fancy foreign dope, from caffy and doo lay, To *** they serves you out before a charge. In back rooms of estaminays I've gurgled pints of cham; I've swilled down mugs of cider till I've felt a bloomin' dam; But 'struth! they all ain't in it with the vintage of Assam: God bless the man that first invented Tea! I think them lazy lumps o' gods wot kips on asphodel Swigs nectar that's a flavour of Oolong; I only wish them sons o' guns a-grillin' down in 'ell Could 'ave their daily ration of Suchong. Hurrah! I'm off to battle, which is 'ell and 'eaven too; And if I don't give some poor bloke a sexton's job to do, To-night, by Fritz's campfire, won't I 'ave a gorgeous brew (For fightin' mustn't interfere with Tea). To-night we'll all be tellin' of the Boches that we slew, As we drink the giddy victory in Tea.
0
2.2k
A *** Of Tea
**** all, **** all, **** all Sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams **** all, **** all, **** all There's **** all you can rip off that can't be ripped off ****** all you can spit that can't be spat **** all you can jabber but you can wot how to fiddle the velociraptor Page—3 girl's always ready for a chat There's **** all you can **** that can't be ****** No one you can stuff that can't be stuffed Sweet **** all you can ***** but you can wot how to vegetate you swanky metronome Über—babe's loose All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need **** all, **** all, **** all Sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams **** all, **** all, **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need There's **** all you can have carnal knowledge of that isn't ***** **** all you smell that isn't uncorked Thumbs down on the spot you lunch box be on the spot that isn't on the spot you're meant rubbing shoulders be spot on Blonde's thick All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need ****** all is all you need That is all you thirst That is all you lust That is all you desiderium That is all you la nostalgie de la boue
0
Mar 24, 2010
Mar 24, 2010 at 4:22 PM UTC
All You Need Is **** All
**** all, **** all, **** all Sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams **** all, **** all, **** all There's **** all you can rip off that can't be ripped off ****** all you can spit that can't be spat **** all you can jabber but you can wot how to fiddle the velociraptor Page—3 girl's always ready for a chat There's **** all you can **** that can't be ****** No one you can stuff that can't be stuffed Sweet **** all you can ***** but you can wot how to vegetate you swanky metronome Über—babe's loose All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need **** all, **** all, **** all Sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams, sweet ***** Adams **** all, **** all, **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need There's **** all you can have carnal knowledge of that isn't ***** **** all you smell that isn't uncorked Thumbs down on the spot you lunch box be on the spot that isn't on the spot you're meant rubbing shoulders be spot on Blonde's thick All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need All you need is **** all All you need is **** all All you need is **** all, sweet ***** Adams **** all is all you need ****** all is all you need That is all you thirst That is all you lust That is all you desiderium That is all you la nostalgie de la boue
Continue reading...
39
Stopper allsh Chub forsh shrame Good Chinwag, yah? Arsh sieve Combatibles posh Boys bare playe Shaye, yay Share! Bar score thore Pieces me - bah! Mayse Lion bare thine; Yare Deer-Berry splaye Wot cot Beagle-Risen thorse Polliwog Spout Arms dash Legs arsh instant forsh shore Sport Water-Rouse, rebound! Spare Skin-Sherry shogg Staple coach-wires faye John Tom's Report Behave, tharne! Parallipparel Shape conduct Pour-Pore noodlesee Six-Squares shrub contesse Mare beere yorsh Chest torso-avenue locke Reprodpress marsh baye Bub-Peppers finesse. Staye-upon-staye bore thoose talkitook borough Boy-ish-Boy-font-fare-Potiphar-although.
0
Mar 22, 2013
Mar 22, 2013 at 7:59 AM UTC
SONNET TRIBUTE SUNDRY - ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE - TOM DALEY
Now this is a story all about how My life had been flipped and turned upside down Let's take a minute, just sit right there I'll tell ya how I tumbled down the stairs I was chilling with the fam We were watching Voltron When something happened That made me go "WOT?!" I thought it'd be funny To pretend to throw Myself down the stairs I said "Down I go!" I went down a couple And then a few more I never intended To go all the way to the floor I kept falling Headfirst into each step It was scary But I couldn't get a grip I tried to grab on To the rail of the stairs But all was a fail As I couldn't hold on I felt the hope slip Out of my grip As I fell down the stairs Laughing to tears Or was I crying? Nah It was pretty funny Even though my friends didn't try to save me.
0
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 12:11 AM UTC
Falling Down Stairs: non-metaphorically
Sitting in a chair counting spots that passed before my eyes. The insect smiled and said "hold still" i missed one. They swirl this way and that. dont move    Please. be still. Not an  easy task a fever of 104.2 could you.                  I think that I shall never see                                     a poem lovely as a tree. Sitting on my blanketed chest The insect did his best to sing me a lullaby. his breath was horrendous but he meant well. He stroked my burning cheek and changed the cool washcloth regularly on my aching head. Then turned my pillow to the cool side again. There my friend. He scuttled under with me and snuggled his hairy legs were itchy and rough. small price to pay. eh wot. Oh yes we have no bananas We have no bananas today. Captain if we keep pushing her like this she's gonna blow. We regret to inform you that the price of tea in China is now High as gas in California. Chicken broth he brought   with a silver spoon to boot The insect waited patiently as I swallowed then spooned the next load in. "Here let me wipe you chin." Ladies  and gentlemen and all ships at see The Hindenburg has landed oh the humanity. This is not the end No not the beginning of the end. But more, the end of the beginning. Help me up Mr Checks. I think I gotta *** Oops forgot to raise the lid. Mr Checks. Can you have room service come up. we need more Trowels. Uh towels. Stop hogging the remote. Where's mom Have you seen my Teddy with one eye missing. To bed to bed You sleepy head . Tarry a while said slow. Put the *** said greedy glut Lets stuff before we go . Mr Checks. All hands on deck. We dont have enough lifeboats sir. The iceberg is sky blue and beautiful dont you agree. What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning. Heave ** and up she rises Early in the morning. THIS FEVERISH DREAM TO BE CONTINUED.
0
Nov 18, 2012
Nov 18, 2012 at 11:49 AM UTC
The Checkerboard Tarantula
Sitting in a chair counting spots that passed before my eyes. The insect smiled and said "hold still" i missed one. They swirl this way and that. dont move    Please. be still. Not an  easy task a fever of 104.2 could you.                  I think that I shall never see                                     a poem lovely as a tree. Sitting on my blanketed chest The insect did his best to sing me a lullaby. his breath was horrendous but he meant well. He stroked my burning cheek and changed the cool washcloth regularly on my aching head. Then turned my pillow to the cool side again. There my friend. He scuttled under with me and snuggled his hairy legs were itchy and rough. small price to pay. eh wot. Oh yes we have no bananas We have no bananas today. Captain if we keep pushing her like this she's gonna blow. We regret to inform you that the price of tea in China is now High as gas in California. Chicken broth he brought   with a silver spoon to boot The insect waited patiently as I swallowed then spooned the next load in. "Here let me wipe you chin." Ladies  and gentlemen and all ships at see The Hindenburg has landed oh the humanity. This is not the end No not the beginning of the end. But more, the end of the beginning. Help me up Mr Checks. I think I gotta *** Oops forgot to raise the lid. Mr Checks. Can you have room service come up. we need more Trowels. Uh towels. Stop hogging the remote. Where's mom Have you seen my Teddy with one eye missing. To bed to bed You sleepy head . Tarry a while said slow. Put the *** said greedy glut Lets stuff before we go . Mr Checks. All hands on deck. We dont have enough lifeboats sir. The iceberg is sky blue and beautiful dont you agree. What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning. Heave ** and up she rises Early in the morning. THIS FEVERISH DREAM TO BE CONTINUED.
Continue reading...
59
yud say av gorra chip on me shoulder if i adunett it am from fukkn inner city liverpool la an a won' letya fuggerit yer posh scrans jus werds ter me so gerrit down ya neck instedda waxin lyrical abar it coz a doh no wot ya jus sed
0
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 2:43 PM UTC
lobscouse (dont speak with ya mouth full)
SCHRöDINGER'S SOCKS & THE REVENGE OF THE CAT Schrödinger's cat failed to see just what all the fuss was about? It was all such a reductive absurdum. The cat couldn't understand collapsing wave functions decoherence entanglement or whether reality was really quantum to save its life. It was aware of one thing & one thing only . . .the diabolic device. . . Cat in a metal box with a Geiger counter with a radioactive substance blah blah de ****** blah an atom decaying or something or other & releasing a hammer to smash a phial of hydrocyanic acid. Wot! "I do not like thee Dr. Fell!" thought the cat. It was a very literary cat. So all this palaver about a cat( me? how! ) being both dead or alive or neither dead or alive or . . .wot! So this is to be my great to-be-or-not-to-be! Welllll excuse me! Say...doesn't the cat have his say? So, I( clever cat that I am) merely claw my way to the top & disengage the device by taking out the hammer. So no cat was harmed in the making of this thought experiment. It almost drove Schrödinger out of his tiny little mind! And he( hee hee ) never did discover what ever happened to his socks. I forever stealing one sock from a pair from the open washing machine. Leaving him to ponder just where socks go? The other side of the Universe? Oh come on Erwin...it's not rocket science! Now, to get back to describing the behaviour of a quantum entity. "Mmmmm......mmmmmm?" "Naw....I still don't get it!" "Say ya couldn't see yer way to giving me a scratch...could ya?" "Up a bit....upabit....yeah...yeah . . .there...just...there!"
0
Sep 1, 2016
Sep 1, 2016 at 1:16 PM UTC
SCHRöDINGER'S SOCKS & THE REVENGE OF THE CAT
SCHRöDINGER'S SOCKS & THE REVENGE OF THE CAT Schrödinger's cat failed to see just what all the fuss was about? It was all such a reductive absurdum. The cat couldn't understand collapsing wave functions decoherence entanglement or whether reality was really quantum to save its life. It was aware of one thing & one thing only . . .the diabolic device. . . Cat in a metal box with a Geiger counter with a radioactive substance blah blah de ****** blah an atom decaying or something or other & releasing a hammer to smash a phial of hydrocyanic acid. Wot! "I do not like thee Dr. Fell!" thought the cat. It was a very literary cat. So all this palaver about a cat( me? how! ) being both dead or alive or neither dead or alive or . . .wot! So this is to be my great to-be-or-not-to-be! Welllll excuse me! Say...doesn't the cat have his say? So, I( clever cat that I am) merely claw my way to the top & disengage the device by taking out the hammer. So no cat was harmed in the making of this thought experiment. It almost drove Schrödinger out of his tiny little mind! And he( hee hee ) never did discover what ever happened to his socks. I forever stealing one sock from a pair from the open washing machine. Leaving him to ponder just where socks go? The other side of the Universe? Oh come on Erwin...it's not rocket science! Now, to get back to describing the behaviour of a quantum entity. "Mmmmm......mmmmmm?" "Naw....I still don't get it!" "Say ya couldn't see yer way to giving me a scratch...could ya?" "Up a bit....upabit....yeah...yeah . . .there...just...there!"
Continue reading...
70
I stood beside the grave of him who blazed The comet of a season, and I saw The humblest of all sepulchres, and gazed With not the less of sorrow and of awe On that neglected turf and quiet stone, With name no clearer than the names unknown, Which lay unread around it; and asked The Gardener of that ground, why it might be That for this plant strangers his memory tasked Through the thick deaths of half a century; And thus he answered—”Well, I do not know Why frequent travellers turn to pilgrims so; He died before my day of sextonship, And I had not the digging of this grave.” And is this all? I thought,—and do we rip The veil of Immortality? and crave I know not what of honour and of light Through unborn ages, to endure this blight? So soon, and so successless? As I said, The Architect of all on which we tread, For Earth is but a tombstone, did essay To extricate remembrance from the clay, Whose minglings might confuse a Newton’s thought, Were it not that all life must end in one, Of which we are but dreamers;—as he caught As ’twere the twilight of a former Sun, Thus spoke he,—”I believe the man of whom You wot, who lies in this selected tomb, Was a most famous writer in his day, And therefore travellers step from out their way To pay him honour,—and myself whate’er Your honour pleases,”—then most pleased I shook From out my pocket’s avaricious nook Some certain coins of silver, which as ’twere Perforce I gave this man, though I could spare So much but inconveniently:—Ye smile, I see ye, ye profane ones! all the while, Because my homely phrase the truth would tell. You are the fools, not I—for I did dwell With a deep thought, and with a softened eye, On that Old Sexton’s natural homily, In which there was Obscurity and Fame,— The Glory and the Nothing of a Name.
0
1.2k
Churchill’s Grave
I stood beside the grave of him who blazed The comet of a season, and I saw The humblest of all sepulchres, and gazed With not the less of sorrow and of awe On that neglected turf and quiet stone, With name no clearer than the names unknown, Which lay unread around it; and asked The Gardener of that ground, why it might be That for this plant strangers his memory tasked Through the thick deaths of half a century; And thus he answered—”Well, I do not know Why frequent travellers turn to pilgrims so; He died before my day of sextonship, And I had not the digging of this grave.” And is this all? I thought,—and do we rip The veil of Immortality? and crave I know not what of honour and of light Through unborn ages, to endure this blight? So soon, and so successless? As I said, The Architect of all on which we tread, For Earth is but a tombstone, did essay To extricate remembrance from the clay, Whose minglings might confuse a Newton’s thought, Were it not that all life must end in one, Of which we are but dreamers;—as he caught As ’twere the twilight of a former Sun, Thus spoke he,—”I believe the man of whom You wot, who lies in this selected tomb, Was a most famous writer in his day, And therefore travellers step from out their way To pay him honour,—and myself whate’er Your honour pleases,”—then most pleased I shook From out my pocket’s avaricious nook Some certain coins of silver, which as ’twere Perforce I gave this man, though I could spare So much but inconveniently:—Ye smile, I see ye, ye profane ones! all the while, Because my homely phrase the truth would tell. You are the fools, not I—for I did dwell With a deep thought, and with a softened eye, On that Old Sexton’s natural homily, In which there was Obscurity and Fame,— The Glory and the Nothing of a Name.
Continue reading...
43
Numbles is a fictitious place, a state of mind. I go there from time to time in search of rhyme and reason When required Here in Numbles The calliope plays non stop words fall from the hopper neatly written out, written neatly on white plastic ***** the size of owl's eggs. They roll down the chute and line up in rational sentences of pure opaque poetry. Unabashed and shameless a bit cocky eh wot. An I dont give a dam a style like the party girl who just hit her liquor limit She has one shoe in her hand and her purse in the other Tipsy? I used to get budded, drop a 33 LP diamond needle with a brush, Wax was a choice over tape or disc just a better eargasmic experience. Numbles here I come. Reverse engineering the things I'd been hearing Oz .The sun shone in neon streams and the gusting breezes tasted like cool peppermint schnapps The cops wore broad pinstripes and penny loafers. A storybook ending every time The pieces of the poem puzzles cake walked with spated shoes . like homing pigeons on the wing to roost and coo, they knew. Numbles is the place where the sky was ever-blue. I still day trip to that magical place sans herbalsupplimentation. or distilledfermentation. Sleepdeprivation gets me to the towns square All my old friends are there still. .
0
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 26, 2012 at 3:01 AM UTC
Numbles
am a scouser la dont want ya la dee da grew up wid a yard saw gardens from afar jus me an me ma wid ar windows barred against da smackheads an da scallys dat wanted wots ars not dat wot wuz ars wuz ars anyway stuff lifted off a wagon dat got lost on edge lane comin off da 62 could get ya waylaid passin thru where i grew up back in da day
0
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 12:25 PM UTC
L7
K, so here’s the deal, English will change, Goi! Gr8 eh? Lol. B4u know it, all changed. Fyi some call it Textese or SMS Language. But through will become thru And though of course tho Anyway. Goi. K so this poem might not trend, But I’m way ahead of my time, That’s my Msg. N2u tho that may b. That things must change, That is. 8 it don’t u? Such g9. Scary Tbh. 4 me and 4u. (Bm&y;). (I prefer you as yu it's tru). Just Gfi is wot I say. Even when Prw! Somy? Sotmg. Soz Laters – Sbtsbc. Ttfn and bfn. Say. Sit my friend. Paul Butters © PB 13\8\2015.
0
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 13, 2015 at 10:46 AM UTC
Just 4 U
Where’s the dog, where’s the dog? There are burglars in the house But the dog sleeps oh so quietly As quietly as a mouse. And so the husband, he takes charge It’s the middle of the night Reluctantly creeping down the stairs He’s our hero in full – fright. Of course – there was nobody there It was one of those ‘sounds in the night’ And our hero couldn’t have seen him He’d forgotten to turn on the light. The hero thus returns to bed Not to welcoming open arms His wife has drifted back to sleep Oblivious to his charms. Oh well he thinks as he gets in bed And then he falls himself to sleep Meanwhile below, the hidden thief Leaves for his home with swag to keep. ©JRW2014
0
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 7, 2014 at 4:25 PM UTC
Wot! No Burglars!
It is the ordinary For me That so often Fills the memory This is how I tell it …… She didn’t give a **** The ice cream seller 19 years – quite pretty Sunday, New Brighton Parade : ) Hey! Wot U @ **** all Through the hatch I saw her Mobile in hand Sitting on a *** that would Get bigger – and better – with time U? At work Its crap Lol She barely bothered To look up from the phone Casual disregard, I found appealing To my ****** side U out last nite? Yeah ******* smashed Went home with that guy U know the one Two strawberry cones please And a vanilla Don’t do strawberry Just vanilla ***** mare !! PMSL I need to stop He’s using U Is there anywhere else? Yeah, try up Vale Park Just up there, round the corner It’s cheaper too U still there? Yeah, sorry, a customer Can’t be arsed today Haha, don’t blame U I left her there Back on her *** Leaning over the phone Hoping for no customers **** He just txt Wot do I do? Tell him to **** off We found Vale Park Saved three quid As with jealousy she cursed Her mate and the ice cream.
0
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 1:51 PM UTC
The Ice Cream Seller
Michelangelo from marble made man, Beyond Perfection. An Ultimate image, as Apollo's Earthrise on Luna, or Showcase #4. Germany has it's Beatles, Just as Liverpool does too, And I've seen pictures of a wall that stretches the length of China. Pyramids rise out of the Deserts of Egypt, The Jungles of the Aztecs, and the Mountains of the Mayans. A Colosseum still stands in Rome, And every temple envy's the ones in Angkor Wot For every age a legend. For every actor a role. For every writer a story, and painter a painting, and general a battle, and architect a structure. Wright and Wolfe and Orwell and Wells and Kafka and Kubrick and Lenin and Lennon and McCartney and MacArthur and Patton and Plato and Dvořák. There is a perfect apple pie in every mother's mind. A perfect game in every pitcher's eye. A work of art around every corner, Stuck to refrigerators, And tucked away underneath children sized beds. Hanging in every high-school hallway, Spray painted on every highway overpass. A Planet-wide gallery as simple as a finger-painting, As grand as that canyon out in Arizona. A world full of masterpieces... But for me... Only you... Only you.
0
Jul 10, 2014
Jul 10, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC
For You.
she said her name was: "Zeta Ampersand!" "Wot?" I wotted? her Da had named her after some mathematical function Ampersand she just liked the sound she even signed her self ζ (& ) "...the artist formerly known as my self!" "59 & 509...both primes!" she smiled "30, 031...isn't!" "!?!" I said I watched a snake of sweet sweat slither between her cleavage "...the Buckmisterfullerene molecule is like a soccer ball...blah de blah.." "Uh huh..yeah...I'm...eh...listening..." to my heart beat wildly out of control she an Everest...I the foothills said she liked Daft Punk & kissing "Now there's a coincidence..." I whispered Daft Punk I didn't know but I had a 1st Class Honours in kissing &...stuff we made love with AROUND THE WORLD on replay "Call me Z..." she sighed *** with her was like voicing alveolar sibilant fricatives "Gee Zee...geeee!" was all I could say I was an quantic entity experiencing wave/particle duality for the first time forever
0
Aug 8, 2015
Aug 8, 2015 at 8:15 PM UTC
FROM RANDOM PRIMES TO ORDERLY ZEROS
LEARNING FROM MY DAUGHTER she poses pauses poses "Wot ya doin' Tilly my eyes question her "I'm inventing my self making my world" I wordless my daughter far more wiser than her father could ever be but then she's three
0
Jun 28, 2023
Jun 28, 2023 at 10:53 AM UTC
LEARNING FROM MY DAUGHTER
I am thankfully fortunate Though i owe thou. A sober kiss thou deserve Though Methinks its impossible, Thy presence intoxicates me I am thankful I am happily thankful Thy touch Grants angels hands shame Thy aroma Fives air its freshness I am fortunate I am somber I am misplaced from thy presence I am regretful I canst not until beam Yet, I am fortunate That i wot thou
0
Aug 27, 2021
Aug 27, 2021 at 8:54 AM UTC
Halfway Blues