In this very moment, just like in all others, the whole world is falling apart while being built up all over again. We are all, during every second of our lives, dying while being born anew at the exact same time.

I had heard this, maybe even understood this before. But I had never quite felt it yet, until the moment I was letting him go, while falling in love with him again in the very same instant.

Our love died and blossomed, our pain stung while being resolved, and the connection of our souls was captured in time, so that it is now equally unexistent as everlasting.

I start looking at past conversations as I wait for a reply, my heart has sank. I am shaking as if I'm standing in a winter wind, but I'm alone on my bed.
This girl that I once loved speaking to more than anything is terrifying but calming me all at once.
I get her answer, and I realize that she doesn't hate me. It's something far worse, I am no longer someone she cares for, I am unexistent to her, I am nobody.

And when she responded, some buried part of me that never sees the light wished that I was dead.
Perhaps I would be somebody then.

Laying on the ground somewhere
Though I don't really suppose it's the where I am intended to be
Is it, or not?
Music, music, music
And I feel so tiny
Teeny-weeny
The finest flake of sugar
I do not feel my fingertips
Nor the top of my toes
I'm frozen, on a hot summer day
I'm not melting
I do not think I'm here anymore,
Peculiarity fills the cavities
Of my unconsciousness
I am
In a stranger's body, in a stranger's room
On a stranger's fuzzy floor
I hear voices, whispers above the paces
Melodies
I recognize these sounds, their presence
Yet I feel unexistent at that specific time
In this determined place
Drifting, twirling
Hazy hazy day
For a moment,
Just a moment
A glimpse
Then, as small as I am
Ants round up around my crystallized edges
And bring me back
Where my eyes
Fall and fall into a void
Where my ears see popping vivid colors
Blinding
Where something dries itself just under my nose
Where my fingers are in motion again
And the tip of my toe draws circles of vapor on the hose