I’m distributing
the wealth of my wisdom
in that real laissez-faire way.
Between blacks and whites,
My service? Is grey,
deliciously uninviting.
Uneager to please,
I fight friction with ease:
I take pictures.

I’m writing.

trepidation.
walk on eggshells. Don't make the wrong move. words are more powerful than you know. vanquished by them, yet again. Woulds never heal when written by a blade of sound.
walk away.
hopeless, forlorn. dejected and rejected. failure cuts a knife so deep. why. Never should make a person feel, this way. rejected. a state of being denied, shunned, dropped, jilted or abandoned. Drop-kicked is more accurate. through thoughts and feelings and walls of un-intention. Unintentional doesn't mean, unafflicting. It's not unconditional.
Up, down, turn around. Hide and seek, but words will always find you. Ominous. Noxious. Apocalyptic. Impending and inauspicious, never pending doom. Don't drown. words surround. Overpower and oppress, get in touch with loneliness. Inescapable. Better to surrender. words.
Immobilize. Can't even hear. Things being said, here. take out. shut off. take over. can't control. it's overtaking. seize power. let go. it'll never stop. Beaten. Buried. Conquered. No respite here. Weariness, none do care. Defeated, run-over. a dump truck of cruelty crushing, running over your heart. The soul is next. **** the heart, now defeat the senses. can't, survive. stressed and, suppressed.
The power of a consonant hath never been matched.
Rip apart, tear down from the start. People don't matter when reduced to mere words and petty emotion. Remove humanity. Steal personality. Nothing matters. Anymore. Disheartened and, Decomposed. Striped bare. unaware. doesn't matter, anymore.
forebodingly frightful. frustrating, feeble, failing, falling, faintheartedly framed. Fuddled. Flustered. No solution to this mess. no respite from such unbearable distress. The fright won't subside.
What a great terror, to be left outside. Alone. In the dark. words. tear, destroy. Shut out in the cold, still scared and alone. Abandoned and deserted. Desolate in a land of cruel misintentions. Uneager comprehensions.
Falling, no stopping. Fear suffocating any chance for hope. Fall.

In a blink of an eye, it was done
    The cost of souls the Earth has spun

Death upon an uneager heart
     Clause was signed by Death, oh what an art

It's quick, painless, at the time shameless, maiming, and brainless
Rude awakening.

At the very hour of death do you think they know?

Will they cower?
Will they stress?
Will their bodies glow like a ghost?

At the final thought of when they reminisce
Looking at their past existence
Will they understand their fault in the plan
Understand they had every moment in there hand

Realize that if there was a miss, it was oneself that didn't train to block the hit, didn't plot enough to dodge the grip, didn't get heighten to understand that evil exist, didn't realise that materializing got your brain chained like a slave being whipped.
We a trip
for worshipping them idols
stay idle
they say scram out the brain!
keep em dead and dumb
stay idle
everything will be okay
don't move worthless one
the time has come mkay


In a mist of the moment
as it clouds over my head,
I am my own opponent,
every moment,
every moment,
that I sure did not hope to miss,
was my own fault,
falling into doubt

&

stupid idol worshipping,
whether it is something so easy
as playing games

or

  studying for some dumb degree,
or learning how to draw,
for art has infatuated me

even at the moment where I could land a job,
I don't take it
I just leave it

then

I cry cause I ain't owning any of these mobs
of cash
fat stacks

****!

I wish I had that
a dream like all man
who work the land
that we plunder so much
what is the purpose?
why are we on this crust?
what a bunch of greedy *****!

****!

I am out again I need a blunt....

i wrote you a letter,
spritzed it with pheromones,
dotted it in tears

every grim notion was far too pretty —
dressed in ballpoint ink
dancing a legato cursive

tracing everything i didn’t say;
my tongue was tangled up,
and your hearing was selective

but pain was bubbling out my pores,
and starting to burn
the only remedy was writing it out:

dear you,

i want to mold me into the
pedestal i put you on,
but you have to scooch a little

i want to go on a scavenger hunt
in your brain, but you didn’t
think to draft out clues

i want to use your heartbeat for 808s
and play them on repeat,
but you’d probably say that’s ludicrous

i want to find our favorite
frequency, i think it’s
somewhere close to middle c,

but you didn’t meet me there
never really cared to care,
and that’s fine, that’s fair

your debt to me is absent
same as mine to you
yet i’m still paying in time wasted

analyzing your words in my head
that don’t have double meanings
like i devised

you’re as literal as stem majors
uneager to decode the metaphors
i made for you

so i’ll stop writing them
at least
i’ll try

love,
me
(please)

folded up my fears of feeling
something more than my pulse
the impulse wasn’t strong enough

couldn’t muster the courage
to address it in your name
still i hoped you’d somehow see

so i let the wind take the reins
with fate in the passenger seat
clutching my precious card-stock cargo

will it find it’s way to you,
or dissolve amongst the mist?
i guess that i can only guess

My poetic side COSMOFUNNEL
wordsmith thanks tumblr in his noggin
ofttimes triggering babbling brook
to swell after deluge
becoming stream of consciousness runnel
carving, gouging, and liquidating topography
qua zee mow toe natural formed tunnel.

Digitally remastered and revised
since original version rejected, thus
writer released,  purposely leaked,
and flooded mass media
courtesy the following
self branded watershed vaunted unabridged
sprawling questionable and deplorable
creation loosed upon unassuming readers.

Analogously linkedin with
once upon a time
one doodling dandy Yankee slender man,
whose yang upended, overshadowed,
and eclipsed mine yin,
nevertheless, now yours truly self anointed
as an elder statesman - ha
gifted with unwanted
inxs of abdominal adipose tissue
(attributed to agent provocateur of aging,

which affects my metabolism
and/or courtesy
unwanted side effect reaction
from one or more
of the eight medications
nurse practitioner
at Penn Psychiatric Center
Phoenixville, Pennsylvania location
Elizabeth Clark prescribes),
which gained weight foments tussle

a fight to the death, I can never win
and alternately titled: arm ugh gut tin
yours truly loathes to mensch shin
one alien looking pear shaped
humanoid with redskin
liposuction advised courtesy Doctor Quinn
(a fictional character and magician,
I took poetic license
created above to help eradicate body dysmorphia),
she waved her wand and ****
transformed me into a puffin.

Aye dread getting undressed
and/or getting washed
even without spectacles
thar haint no mo' six pack ab,
which nearly rock ribbed
mid equatorial zone shape shifted
into corpuscular blubbery
ancillary physiognomy
where aye wanna bab
bull posttraumatic stressed out

middle age battle of the bulge
in summer re: a waisted effort
squarely (er rather roundly) testing
the elasticity of extra large sweatpants,
when straining to hide expanding girth
definitely producing undesirable effect,
(especially when floating in briny deep,
I squarely, honestly and closely resemble
the Chinese brother
who swallowed the sea  

strongly urging, necessitating,
and exhorting mister crab
to clamp down with pincers,
viz primitive liposuction,
whence rustling scupper
will efface this fleshed out
human bloviated ruggedly handsome
man of the webbed wide world
a bit heavy around the equator
over self indulgent fleshpot

unable, uneager, unready,
and unwilling to maneuver
his portly ill proportioned body
inducing unprovoked stares,
and tears for fears
eyes tracking billowing supersize shirt
resembling trireme sails being trimmed,
where fleshly freighted sloop
displaces entire watery expanse
stranding, stinging and starving an a ray

of underwater species,
now prolonging requisite inhalation;
I seek desperate sticktoitiveness
guidance courtesy Younan Nowzaradan
with steely mettle
hie trite to iron out flab
thus tis part and parcel of senescence,
yet auxiliary buttressed dermis
effect forming gorged girth
giving "love handles" grab

reigniting reign of terror
viz prepubescent anorexia nervosa,
boot strapped now - wen
remembrance of things past frankly
zapped distorted self-image
evoked holocaust images repugnant;
buttery rolls of fat insta jab
stubborn thoughts of self-loathing
entice me to become a lab
bore a tory guinea pig/
scapegoat role to restore

prime of life build when five foot ten
obviously me no Lemuel Gulliver
alignment could now perchance nab
first place in a slick couture magazine
from the neck down,
cuz face mottled with
nine inch nails clawing skin
wrought unsightly scab
taut torso bearing
fashion model and
senior citizen idol, where
every place I go receiving
venue offers free tab.

To stand stock still until shutterfly
would SnapChat
rippled tummy, could
fill my hungry wallet with inxs of cash
now, aye haint so gorge ***,
WhatsApp with
faux pregnant protuberance,
though thankfully
derriere still rather dash
shing, which palmolive pilot sized buttocks

doth newt offset sorry to report
lost battle of the bulge,
where diet tribes furloughed in a flash
abandoning their respective stations,
gnome hatter sinusoidal
parabolic frontispiece finds me to gnash
my toothless mouth for lack of means
to stave of the depredations
of slump pin proletariat
allowing me a hash

sheesh priceline tag
with hefty weight, acquiescing
this Pillsbury doughboy blivet
to subject himself to the sharp
stings of a cool whip lash
bearing the snap against
raw skin as due process
and supplication for atlas shrug
gin his broad shoulders
at the fountainhead naming me mash
shew Scott in regard to oblate inflation
insulation fiberglass around midsection, and

how ma late mum
(an avid fan of doctor Carleton Fredericks,
who preceded Mehmet Oz), would quash
the love she showered on this sole heir -
resorting to exhaustive palliatives -
even ear rash
shun null gambits,
and as last ditch effort
putting this offspring
on par with an albatross -
vamoose get out with the trash
unless everything (pertaining to
indelible stubborn blubber
comes out at the whoosh she wash
Diet of worms.

his eyelids conclude why bother
manacled they led him away
to the red beating heart of their city
in his mud brick cell they tried everything
cattle **** fire hose blow dryer
ineluctable forces of nature
now there are wires in his head
his neo-cubist portrait
ended up on bags of dog food
have you seen this child
we make too many monsters
for the safety of this planet
a petting zoo of pretty spiders
eager to charm uneager to learn
ever-ready to change the subject
claiming that this is the normal milieu
leaping from euphemism to euphemism
preconceptions luridly arrayed
detour around the temple kids
there’s mobsters in heaven
they don't tell you that but it is true
they run the gambling arcade of faith
the will he or won’t he tables
it should be clear by now that
prayer does not ward off plague
even for the willfully superficial
should we all be capable of greatness
or blind credulity you decide
behold the broadly entangled universe
in all its partly comprehensible splendor
the design that stuns with perfection
and then kills you so slowly
that your DNA begins to tell you
how when and what to think
it couldn't be more or less blatant
drifting in the eddies of a potential thing
in which the big impossibility happened
at least we know how to know more
stray as you wish into the arms of beauty
and rub against her silks and furs
make her mumble the irony the irony
her paranoia may be an entrance
but live for today is a sham
and a shuck and a jive
because tomorrow always comes
this is a mathematical given
the human condition
used to be specified as lost
now at least it’s curious

From "Engine of Didactic Beauty" available on Amazon

The stars linger this morning,

Caught frozen between grass blades

Uneager to relinquish the long night,

They shimmer brilliantly in the golden morning light