I breathe a little easier when I leave you behind,
The weight on my shoulders, the plague in my mind
It gets a little breezier the moment I find
Glimmers of clarity and from you I unbind
You keep me too busy with heartache and crimes
Too stressed to reflect
Too tense too unwind
Too afraid to connect
Too timid, too blind
My colours were once vibrant, my spirit divine
My laughs would echo with a joy that was mine
But baby I met you and what’s mine became yours
You’re a storm that raged in, after softly knocking on my door
I thought I could do this, but you always wanted more
I thought I’d get through this, but you had more in store
I thought it could happen to be loved and still be free
I didn’t imagine you’d have this much power over me
To lift me or crush me, to slow me or rush me
To beat me down and then touch me…
In that tender way
That way that left my life astray
The way that makes me forget what happened yesterday
When you held me so tightly, I thought I would die
When you drank from my kindness until the well ran dry
When you decided to destroy my trust and wouldn’t say why
I’ve gone into hiding but I cannot run away
You keep me craving and my heart it obeys
When my spirit is naked in my moments alone
I see how much of me because of you is gone
But then you’re suddenly all around me
And my layers they’re back on
The ones I created to pretend I’m still strong
The ones I concocted to convince myself I wasn’t wrong
To fall in love with someone who never loved me for who I am
But rather who loved me because you saw my flaws
My sense of insecurity, what I wrongly believed I was worth
An intrinsic vulnerability that I’ve been unable to unbirth
A sense of isolation as old as my first breath on earth
My weakness, my pain,
My scars, my wars,
Oh baby they were my painful siren call
You flocked towards me and didn’t hesitate at all
To conquer, to change, to break me with words,
To take until I lost what it was that made me my own
The me I had painstakingly put together and that through tragedy I’d grown
The sense of hope I nurtured in the pitch black dark
The belief in a tomorrow that I hid in my heart
A craving for humanity when the demons left their mark
In my head, whispered in my ears,
When I lay in bed, wondering if the end is near
Oh how you shone so brilliantly when you first held my hand
Oh how you eased my fright before I began to understand
Your intentions for me, your determination for my essence to posses
To force me to submit, to break me down, forcing me to confess,
To use my past against me and to keep me a mess,
But today you’re far and I can breathe my truth
Fearing the day I’ll return once more to you
It’s impossible to escape you, of that you made sure
You soiled my love, made our connection impure
I see it so clearly when there’s oceans between us,
But when I look in your eyes, it’ll take over — my weakness
So I’ll live today and I’ll dream tonight
Of a fearless tomorrow, of my individuality alight
I’ll pray for help, for strength, for what’s right
I’ll pray for serenity, for grace, for might
And for that day to come, which in the absence of you,
I once again become glorious and I shine bright
Oh, baby, I’ll shine bright, I’ll shine bright.
