What does life have in store for me?
Everything is coming together at last
At this point, I would be afraid,
but somehow I'm not,
Future is approaching
My personality changing
And I'm almost seventeen.
Wow
Almost seventeen?
I'm almost an adult and it's hard to realize this.
I've been taking life in the perspective of an adult for some time now,
but to become an adult to match my thoughts?
I might finally act my age.

I've got standardized tests to do
I can't falter
So many testings of different importances and knowledge levels are approaching
and I've been so lucky to have been able to take a chemistry course of my caliber.

But will I achieve my goal?

I'm content and feeling full.
a fullness that filled up the emptiness and anxiety pit inside me not more than eight months ago
Wow
Eight months ago?
I've been living in my childhood city for about seven months.
seven months.
these months made me somewhat more than my usual okay
they made me feel
normal
And that
Love is for me
And will be there for me
True.
My work ethic isn't how it used to be.
True.
My lack of influence and social acceptance aren't easy to avoid anymore.
Perhaps,
This is some kind of lesson?

a... twisted lesson that involves the backstabbing of new "friends"

they are
Funny,
Yet not.
Accepting,
Yet not.
Envy and stupidity
Ignorance
I'm not any better in their eyes
But I do not care
I've been humiliated all too many times
I feel
Anger,
Yet I shouldn't.

This very school was chosen according to my research.
So sometimes
I feel like I've made a big mistake
and that is all my fault.
But it's like there weren't any other options either

A family,
that is short on money and barely afforded their children to go to school.
Their story,
repeats of every year that a new grade level comes into the picture.

For as long as I've been in the 7th grade, I've remembered the struggle and the worry.

I'm so sick of this infinite loop.
So I will be the terminating condition

stopping it at its roots.
to destroy any chance of plant seed deciding to latch on to soil.

the world doesn't need any more dead flowers.

poems to fit on
postage stamps
letters in a bottle
small testings of
vibes to decide
whether to go or
put down roots

there is never
any helping
anybody, or
being helped
only fusion
collaboration

In thine own garden lives thy key
to unwarranted blessings;
yet chart thy days and scour thy nights
for skeins of love's great testings.

For yon and hither lives do mingle,
twain they do traverse,
but forget, do not their minds of iron;
twas the blessing that baned the curse.

Where are the thoughtful s, the brilliants
those young Turks of mine times with tomes ablaze
the searing searches for wisdom in flights of discoveries
soaring into heightened ideas and dives in Philosophy pools
sparring with edifices of futures past and present yet to show

The magic of minds invigorated anew
knowledge incoming and endless forays in disciplines testings
midnight oils burning as brains are lit and wonders founds in old
new skills come in and in growth and understandings you dance
versatility you embrace in bloom of maturity and richness in minds

Talk Shakespeare and see Homer with Sartre
ratios and equations take on compounds and Periodic Tables
the ***** in biology makes ******* covers even more relate-able
Byron says it sweetly and Solzhenitsyn talks Gulag in Mein Kampf
one day in Imperialism while another in Totalitarianism all ideas

My kingdom for knowledge and the trained minds
oh such joy the vista of erudition and peace of understanding
the harvesting of a million lights to banish fears and shame duds
confidence of the unconfined thoughts and enamored teachers
the august seat in a world where diversity is undreaded  and calm

Thus never a war of minds or feigned stances
nothing akin to the posturing fakes and usurpers dim et vacant
or them charlatans lacking gainful foundations in pretentious airs
bovine bullies coated in ignorance manifesting idiocies a la pride
sham laughable buffoons strangling Art for art sake, dopes for free    

So look below and see the infertile minds in fallow  
 base and dank coarse and idle with the occasional sprouts
incapable in essence limited in orientations like a pack of jackals
ignorant and belligerent or puffed up in fear like a capon in anger
nothing enlightened, positive, constructive or gainful just angst
mired in the blame game with limited senses and ignorance raving