I love the colour of his skin,
And the warmth in his eyes,
I love the freckles dispersed across his nose,
The mark under his right eye,
I love his his brutally embarrassing dance moves,
that he calls me "my girl"
I love How he can throw me over his shoulder like a doll,
how he makes me feel beautiful, brilliant and ****,
I love How he calms me when I spiral,
How he makes me laugh so much I cry,
I love his clear ,crisp, distinct voice of reason,
And The little things he does to supprise me,
I love his road rage,
And How he makes me feel brave,
I love How hugs me when I cave,
His smell when I nuzzle in
I love how we never run out of topics,
How the day can fade away.
I don't love that he loves not just me,
The pain I've caused him,
Spit Roads to uncertainty,
I don't love how I fear he can sink and drown,
And I don't feel strong enough to rescue him,
To bring him back to safe ground like he could do for me,
I'm not qualified in that field, like she.
But what I don't love the most is even though I would try my hardest to save him I'm afraid he could drag us both down.

All three together, rock bottom searching for stable ground.

i kept my mouth shut
and my eyes closed
when my limbs were pinned to the bedsheets.

i dreamed the dreamiest of dreams
when
i needed to
forget the feeling
of you inbetween my legs.


your sheets.
sticky.
starchy even.

cotton waves that tickled my skin
and crashed over me.

my hands pinned.
like the games you use to play with your brother,
to see who was stronger.

his breath on your shoulder.
cold.
huffing
in your ear
as his icicle fingers traced your skin.


it wasn't supposed to be this way.
your body seems to chime

you shiver and shake

scared or cold
it's all the same.
never seemed to matter.

he tears off your skin
and eats it
as he finishes with you
he wants you fully naked.
fully humiliated.

you crumple into yourself
arms wrapped around you like wings

you were ready to fly away that night.
but for some reason you didn't

legs to your chest
fetal position
proved nearly fatal as you lay next to him that night.

waking up next to that boy was the hardest thing you ever had to do.

the only witnesses to the crimes he committed on your skin
we're your legs
and they wouldn't stop shaking...

it's a bit chilly.
but you warm yourself up anyways
and throw on your clothes.
paint
on
a smile
and
  choke on the denial
after all
that's the way they dealt you your cards.

you were never good at keeping your poker face
or a straight face for that matter
but
boy, oh boy
did you have them all fooled.


hello. world.

it's me,
another unstable,
teenager.

open your presents,
act shocked;
what a supprise.

hello.
world.
   you will forget me.




just let go.

just. let. him. go.

but he stole the only thing of value to her
and
got away with it too.

that silly heart thief, that silly life ruiner.
that silly boy.


he got to get everything he wanted
and

didn't even look back.

so why should she let go.. why can't he give it all back..?


so when she cries,
and she cuts herself open.
sheds her skin for you to see
and spills her guts.

just know it's not her at this point, it's second nature

to
try to be whole again.

she never will though. she knows it.
the nostalgia will always be there and there's nothing she can do to get those memories back
and there's no where left to run
except straight back into his arms
straight back where she started
and
she might as well be walking backwards because she isn't making any progress and here she is again spending another night crying on the bathroom floor

she wants to tell the truth to you
she wants you to know why
she cries.
and gets scared.
but she settles for the bathroom tiles

she mumbles against the cold floor
lips trying to move but can't

she's holding herself up
barricading the walls that are just too weak

but these bricks and these lies are just too old
and these arms just aren't strong enough to hold the weight of the world anymore.
so
she crumbles
and she fumbles
and she folds
and her whole empire has fallen down around her..

she still sees you around town
and you can't help but rub it in

so
tell me,
what the **** do we do now.

now that we've ruined this place

now that you've ruined this heart

now that i have no where to go

no one to love

and

nothing to be.





i guess i can't expect you understand.

any of you.

i guess i can't expect to get it either.

but for some reason

*i do.

for some reason i do.

This is Buddy
the dog from next door
and as you can see
he is missing a paw

He has always
been missing one
ever since
his life had begun

Once he was big
enough to play
the other pups
would push him away

'Go away Freak'
they would shout
and poor little buddy
was always left out

He didn't understand
why they were so mean
or why they said
he shouldn't be seen

Soon he was alone
at the pet shop
no one wanted a pup
that could only hop

And then one day
a man walked by
and as he past
he caught Buddy's' eye

He smiled a wide
toothy grin
before picking up Buddy
and scratching his chin

Buddy reached up
to lick his face
Thanking the man
who gave him a place

Once in the new house
Buddy was place on the ground
He was surrounded by
new smells and sounds

Then he heard a noise
that was getting near
he let out a little
whimper in fear

The clanging continued
to move towards him
but to his supprise
he saw a little forelimb

Another puppy walked
over to him
she was also
missing a limb

She was missing
the left paw
but instead she
had a metal claw

That was the story
of the dogs next door
which between them
have only two front paws

Many have spent all their lives
Looking for The One that thrives
But then it is you that arrives
You supprise us with the way can
Empathise and,
deprive us of the burden
of life.