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Marshal Gebbie Jul 2018
How tenuous this grip we have, how slight our hold remains
When all around  loud braggards boast that power now pertains,
We see the banner headlines splashed across our daily rags
And redneck demonstrations cleans the streets of Spics and ****
When blood runs in the gutter as the battons rise and fall
And whilst taking tea in style the filthy rich ignore it all.
The blonde leader of our nation struts, postulates and brags
While the rest of us skive off around the corner smoking ****
Our  kids ingest confusion as they loiter on the street
Unknowing  our delusions make illusions held, replete.
How tenuous the grip we have, how slight our hold remains
As our allies shower cold distrust convinced our fault inflames.
What chance of clear redemption, what remedies revive
When truth is lost to darkness can our honesty survive?
Reputation cut to shards, confidences ******
That leaders of community no longer hold our trust
When white is caste as black and then to green and then to grey
And sanity refuses pontification one more day.
How tenuous the grip we have, how slight our holds remain
As twilight turns to darkness caste against a larks’ refrain.

M.
The White House
HAMILTON, New Zealand
25 July 2018
Despair across the nation, good people sitting quietly in their kitchens not quite believing the chaos and disunity sown by the White House amidst their communities, not knowing which way to turn to seek reason, to seek an element of promise for the morrow.

Who would have thought this possible in what was once, the greatest nation on Earth?

M.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2016
i was about to start writing this up when i thought:
another whiskey Quincy? **** storm,
spilled the remains of the one i barely touched
before having to pour myself a:
puritan Scot in Cheltenham.

now, i heard people say any town in Essex
is a ****-hole...
                            fair enough...
but there are darker recesses of England you
must get to know before making that
assumption...
                  sure, London, proper London,
zones 1 - 4, E17 (post code, outer reaches,
Walthamstow, used to have a dog racing
track - played there once,
like a typical Paris catwalk, those hounds)
can skive off Greater London
                    like New York can laugh off
New Jersey, it's pretty much like that...
the only thing is: Londoners don't know what
exists outside this area: the buffer zone.
this is the buffer zone...
                 you experience England outside of
this very sensitive area of integration,
take for example a 3 hour coach trip to
a little town of Cheltenham in Gloustershire
not far from Oxford (a hub of learning)
and Bristol (Massive Attack, and that
bridge by Brunel - funny, engineers are above
architects, in that engineers build things
that *work
, architects are like science-fiction
novelists rather than scientists -
do you know how many problems workers
experience, because an engineer
"forgot to mention" something essential in the plans?
at least an engineer gives you a read table,
all architects work for Ikea -
          ah, here's pieces a - z,
put it together yourself) - anyway...
              spilled my Quincy whiskey, now i'm a puritan
of scotch - unlike that damning quote from
1950s Hollywood: whiskey with a drop of water...
   ok ok... a little **** of ice floating about...
when will the nagging stop? no one says jack
about putting water into authentic absinthe...
      why? cos it goes cloudy green when you do!
(too much digression, news paragraph).

   i was leaving London on Friday,
murky the way i like it... Albert Bridge never seemed
so out of cinematographic urgency -
               but the west end with its grand buildings
appealed to me to start imagining
                    Oscar Wylde ghosts leaving these places
for promenades in top cats and tiaras for the ladies...
                     west London... the best way to see it
is in transit... preferably rather urgently...
                    and in a coach with other people not paying
attention...
                       the Thames receded into the estuary (
as it does), those housed in boats experienced a wake-up
call with a 10° ***** into the mud -
                                past the Chelsea pensioners' abode,
past many monuments to be exact...
   and then onto the open M4... past Windsor Castle
and the streak of aeroplanes about an aerial mile
apart landing at Heathrow -
                                  3 hours later, there i was,
in Cheltenham - chitty chitty bang bang,
apparently dubbed the hub of all English literary
endeavours - well, if you're going to host
a literature festival, wouldn't you claim to host
it with at least one patriotic son of the word?
did i see any statue of a famous poet or writer in
that little rugby stockpile of excess triceps?
nope.
           well, at first i thought it was cute...
                                a little Portobello, albeit
without the St. Petersburg paintwork on the houses,
houses as grey as the skies...
                                           got lost looking for
the b & b hotel i was supposed to be staying at for
the night, went into a gas station, asked,
i was apparently only adjacent lost -
                           old school, map printer and no
g.p.s. on foot -
                                  i once read a map and navigated
a car from an obscure Essex city,
to an even more obscure city in eastern Poland,
past the dreaded Penta Germania consisting of:
Düsseldorf, Duisburg, Essen, Wuppertal and
obviously Dortmund -
                                           i call it the whirlpool
of navigation...
                            anyway, so i found the abode,
what a nice little place it was, shied away from
all the traffic - a lovely garden,
a room fit for a journeying writer,
          actually, everything a writer could hope for
to lock himself away and write,
            tunic scenic - everything to ease the literary
constipation - the surroundings, the whole decor,
i even took a picture thinking: shame if no
Balzac were to not emerge from these rooms...
                           i sure didn't,
i dropped all the things, took a shower,
went into town to do the g.p.s. topographic of
the city so i wouldn't need a map in the future -
bought a bottle of whyte & mackay with a huh?!
apparently this brand isn't popular...
               went back to the room and found myself
drinking in front of the dreaded sight...
well... it was a room fit for a writer...
               but it had a double bed in it...
and a mirror at the desk...
                                    i downed one puritan glass
and looked in the mirror: i don't need your company.
looked away and found to my amazement the
truth of modern writing: the industrialisation
of writing... it emerged in the 20th century when everyone
did it by himself, with a typewriter -
        the industrialisation of writing on an individual
scale can be quiet debilitating when trying to
rekindle the quill... i didn't write anything, i doodled,
and those were bad doodles, it wasn't writing,
it was doodling... i drank a quarter of the bottle
and went out...
        went into the first bar, ordered a Guinness and
and sat down by a table with a
(later disclosed) Gloustershire University student,
a Canadian, jacking-off a script for some
B-short-movie in a public place: to catch the oozing
exfoliation of inspiration from crowded places -
if ever that worked, it might have ever worked
in a graveyard...
                             we were joined by his friend,
some peasant, we got chatting, boy, it was such a thrill
to exchange names... the Canadian's name
i did remember: Darcy...
                          he had that look about him that made
it worthwhile to remember his name,
ah, when names fit the image...
                         chubby, pig-blondish, hairy...
i'm guessing a native of Quebec...
                               but i could be wrong.
so a few hey hey, yeah yeahs later i asked if they
knew something about this gig on the festival slot
that was starting tomorrow, 5 p.m. and for free...
sure sure... got to eye the guide... so i asked:
so, maybe we could meet up at this place at this time
and go from there....
                                  Titanic looked more graceful
sinking than the reply...
                                                 i had to really check myself,
this isn't London psyche chess, this is:
we are small people from a small town,
we think a charming stranger is a serial-killer...
                    the Yorkshire ripper case scenario,
not last... first.
                              i might have been ******* a lemon
by then and pretending to be drunk squirming
a Buddha look - i pretended the polite noting down
the details: suddenly i didn't think like attending
this ****** venture that would start at 5 p.m., end
at 12 a.m. and according to my travel diary:
having to wait 2 hours to catch the 2 a.m. home.
so i went to the first instalment of the "literature"
festival... lemn sissay and salena godden -
and i have to admit, it was a corker - a true
a champagne cork popped and hit the crystal
chandelier and i laughed... and that's how i lost my
virginity to "spoken word",
                                         i wasn't listening to poets,
but i was thoroughly entertained, i swear that
at the end of her performance Salena pointed into
the dark (great tactic, how can they be nervous
if they can't see anyone? they stand on a pulpit of pure
light and see black ahead, where the nerves?)
and said: esp. to my friend over there...
                i might have involuntarily back-laughed /
snorted like a pig trying to catch enough lung volume
for a ha ha...
                          got chatting to this lovely middle-aged
couple: told them: i'm being ***** with gags.
                prior, i was watching the queue build up
into the room, with a god-awful grin on my face...
i couldn't take it off...
                         perhaps because i was looking at
the demographic and thinking: where are my peers?!
i spotted about three people in a close age proximity -
the rest were farts and soon-to-be-farts...
                             now Sissay freaked me out...
in a good way... i met the two after the show,
i brought two copies of my own printed work to give to
them... i had to ask their publicist if i was allowed
to touch the Aegean marbles... luckily i did,
but then i asked the stupid question to Sissay:
so who were you trying to imitate when your eyes
were bulging out nearly gauged out like a Pink Floyd
song video of: teacher! let these children go!
               i should have associated something African
freakish in mask, a strengthening - the sort
of look that New Zealander rugby players put on
to frighten people off when dancing the haka -
he really did talk like that...
                                       the little devil voice didn't help
either... but i only asked that "stupid" question
while mumbling something about how hard it was
getting published and how anyone aged nearing 40
forgot the free press of the internet emerging and
how he asked for a q & a after the performance...
and... hand on my heart:
                                   got asked one question...
          and answered... only one question...
                                        a complete and utter ******* meltdown...
   not: oh yeah, so who's your major influence...
                      a Samuel Beckett moment from not i.
later i standing outside and smoking, a grand English
dame of the west approached me,
chitty chatty kiss the hand later i got to say the most
famous line known to the current Englishman:
unfortunately... from Essex.
             honest. anyone asks you in Essex the question
they always ask: so where you're originally from?
                         anywhere else in England
they just ask you: whe
Tarzan and Jane
swung from tree to tree
neath the jungle's
lush canopy

they played all day
in the steamy hot sun
they played all night
they had tons of fun

their jungle paradise
was theirs and theirs alone
no interlopers could contact them
on a mobile phone

how we'd love
to join them for a holiday
so we could relish in
their carefree lifestyle of play

but alas here we all are
working nine to five
while the jungle twosome
are happy doing a skive
Guy Howard Nov 2019
So Corbyn has promised the Earth
And Labourites can't see the mirth
Diane Abbott's sums
Will Make us all bums
With no homes and negative worth

JC will fix our NHS
Sort out the Conservative mess
Millions more Docs and nurses
From his magical purses
Where the money's from's anyone's guess

Countless new cops on the beat
Is Corbyn's inspiring new bleat
But his short working week
Turns the scene rather bleak
With less police hours on the street

"For the Many" you hear Corbyn say
But if Jeremy gets his own way
He'll jump through the hoops
For terrorist groups
Like our good friends the old IRA

Corbyn stands by unchecked immigration
To diversify our entire nation
Don't shed a tear
As our new friends land here
Viewing our jobs with anticipation

Renationalise everything now
The TUC love a good row
Production will dive
As untouchables skive
Thanks to Labour's trades union cash cow

Labour's 70s weren't all that bad
Even though they made millions sad
Corbyn will take us back
But you won't get the sack
For the unions, we all should be glad

Tax big companies ever so hard
Is Jeremy's vote-winning card
Then look on in glee
As these companies flee
And your job moves to some foreign yard

Democracy thrives in the Left
The way Corbyn works is so deft
We'll have vote after vote
Till the miserable goat
Gets results that won't leave him bereft

My conclusions may seem rather gory
It's Labour's ridiculous story
The only way free
Anyone sane can see
Is to cross the box next to the Tory
Ken Pepiton May 2020
2020 - day 146

Monday, May 25, 2020
7:48 AM

A creed of mathematics and mud, said
in what may be
metemperical
utterance from the ghost of the late,
and likely,
no longer lamented,
Sir Leslie Stephen, author, and,
therefore,
authoritative voice in the matter
of his own mind.
He apologized for the state called
Agnostic, lacking gnosis, may I say,

I know more, in fact, if I count my access
to knowns,
along with my access to the sequence
of knowing;
I know more than any prominent literati
in the time before Google's
manifestation as an idea shaping tool.

What do I know?
I know how to use the Internet to learn,

in broad sweeps through the remains of
empires,
into the dustbin of history for which we stand,
ready,
as a nation,

to build new and more destrucively effective
petards.

Blow your mind, hoist, lift-off, on your own farts.

Passing wind,
did you smell it?



Mental as opposed to spiritual,
hmmm

this will need some study...
a little think,
an imaginary journey,

from here to... where? Where,
or when,
if
we were to change the world,
as we know it;
say,
we did. Say we changed the world,

who would know?
Who would care? We have yet,
breath, and fuel, and functionality.

We have movement, and a grasping,
holding, using,
sense
a natural, from the womb, knack
for making a fist.





Womb survivors of the world, unite.

Defined to the finest quarkish sublimnity,
we entangled creative
thoughts being spun into the wind
passing, rising
from bloated corpses,
we all may witness, as real as you may imagine...

in 2020, we have eye-witness visions made plain,
we have seen the bodies stacked in carts,
we have seen My Lai from the sky,
we can imagine

being there... but don't, I mean, Memorial Day is...

maybe, it is... evoking memory of madness,

how is war good? It is good for the greedy, no one else.

We watch our hero's die to stop the evil, then we watch
the bankers free the last Krupp cannon molder,
to spite the facts we can see, as seen at Nurnberg.

That injustice, was done in my name, if I believe I am
pluralized as we, the people who hold truth,

the Yanks, ye' know? Yankin' y'strang, stranger... did you
stumble into our historical records of all the good
war has done? Nay,
we came to remember peace,

in high definition resolution sharper than the
unaugmented human eye can detect,

see that guy's head, or his helmet, look close,
no head remained in the helmet,

but I knew the head the helmet was hoisted from.

I watched PFC. -name redacted - die,

-- did you know, did you learn, ever, the meaning
of being hoisted on one's own petard?

A petard was a bomb. Nothing fancy,
a bit of alchemical magi-knowing of laws yet to be

discovered in the rubble of guesses as to cause,

accusations of arrogance and hubris, combound to whys,

never examined, never lived out in vital awareness.






quenching a flaming spirit, is ill advised...

but it happens,
all the time. A heart pouring hope
into a mind jumbled
with signals and signs and pleas;

stops, stutters, and aches for
more
meaning meaning meaning in the
tinkling bells and crashing cymbals.

Hope, ash of aspirations inspired
by

love, as a thing, a noun, not a verb.

Love is a verb. Not a thing, an act.

Indeed, done, love is easy to think wisely done.
No announcement is needed,

long after the tale is first formed,
the legend rises from resting in peace,

to give a lie an opposing force, not a war,

a flood.

A deluge of lusion, a seeing at augmentedus
resolutions into further and beyond,
all we can think, or ask
into life
dimensions

former-wise, formerly, unknowable, now

known, according to the pundits,
these are not the days of Lincoln,
craming laws into his head by firelight,

calloused digits flipping page after page
of proprietary rules governing

the white man's burden.

---


Staunching the flow, of blood, particularly,

meant stopping the flow, usually
stopping it from
flowing out of course,
flooding
the plain, flat, seeming, surface of reality.

Reality not being as defined as we imagine, in ourselves.
This being the flow,
if we pay attention, focusing on a point,
fixing a line of sight to a distant thing, a star will do,
planets,
no, those won't do, you see, the planets, now we know,

the planets reflect light,
they bounce light back to our eyes, which we invariably miss

when our attention is owed to the habits we hold.
Our daily grind... growing, or surviving in hope

We guess at many next right or otherwise, standing,
based up on a pedestal, a riser,

lift up your head, egregious though you be,
easily seen, so
easily you see as far as I'm concerned, dis
cerned, re
fined to the innermost edge,

ground to a halt... pressing blade to ground to scrape
a living

plowman, plow me a furrow, for the flood.
Maker of ways,  form me a way to flow,
channel my worth to the dying seeds

scattered, so long ago, on the thread of time we ride behind.




a bug, an insect, not an arachnid,
by leg count
class-ift, insect extremely delicate, what use
could this bug be to me,
a mayfly,
that I did pay it this attention?

Did I mention, no,
sequences in re
telling, consider starlight bounces from sunlight,

but reason and gravity suggest, those
waves of starlight intermingle
with sunbeams.

A mote in my eye may have bounced once from the moon,
as a made its point pinging a receptor some where behind

the window of my soul
to make a ligandary acceptence of influence, from the Greeks,
in an instant
Zeno, doncha know, decided, made a cut,

skience is the conscision, the cutting into bits, until

no further cutting may be done,
and we are dust,
at best.

Flakey humans. Homes to literal gazillions of mites,
hunting and gathering epidermal

flakes of us, digesting said flakes, into demodex *****

{demodex, face mites, are as old as **** sapiens}

as we are in didactic tic mode, ******* meaning from flakes
rubbed off during the itching ear phase

of dust mote formations, see

a mite eating the scales of our bodies, our subjective habitats,

where we hold our habitual rituals;
a mite eating those, fecates and defecates, fecation required,

in consequentialist thought, prior to defecation.

Fact or fiction? Science, as we know it at grade eight,
on the global scale of common knowledge,

science is what we are convinced we know in useful ways.
Knowledge is our opinion of

what we think we know. That is a guess. Not quite right, flow

past
the missed try, reach a next un ex spectated, un i magined
ic tic tic

time passing options, while a life away, or wait

wait and see, or come and see.

I say go. Where this river runs, reach that place,

get all salty, then
lay in the sun and evaporate. Ex sciere, rise, sublimated into ever knowing more,

scient-if-ic known knowns within the un gated narrative we occupy.

We live in an atmo-sphere, a bubble, with a core- inward pulling force

which rolls the rock down the hill, as me and Sisyphus spend a pleasant afternoon
watching all our effort play out...

❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖


forgive me if you already made all the links, I found the scient bits glittering in Old Norse skita,

science is ific in its will to be known truth holding, bogus science is willing to lie, for prestige.

skei-
Proto-Indo-European root meaning "to cut, split," extension of root *sek- "to cut."
It forms all or part of: abscissa; conscience; conscious; ecu; escudo; escutcheon; esq­uire; nescience; nescient; nice; omniscience; omniscient; plebisc­ite; prescience; prescient; rescind; rescission; science; sciente­r; scilicet; sciolist; scission; schism; schist; ******-; schizop­hrenia; scudo; sheath; sheathe; sheave (n.) "grooved wheel to receive a cord, pulley;" shed (v.) "cast off;" shin (n.) "fore part of the lower leg;" shingle (n.1) "thin piece of wood;" **** (v.); shive; shiver (n.1) "small piece, splinter, fragment, chip;" shoddy; shyster; skene; ski; skive (v.1) "split or cut into strips, pare off, grind away;" squire.
It is the hypothetical source of/evidence for its existence is provided by: Sanskrit chindhi, chinatti "to break, split up;" Avestan a-sista- "unsplit, unharmed," Greek skhizein "to split, cleave, part, separate;" Latin scindere "to cut, rend, tear asunder, split;" Armenian c'tim "to tear, scratch;" Lithuanian skiesti "to separate, divide;" Old Church Slavonic cediti "to strain;" Old English scitan, Old Norse skita "to defecate;" Old English sceað, Old High German sceida "sheath;" Old Irish sceid "to *****, spit;" Welsh chwydu "to break open."
This began when I noticed science is from the same root as all those old words for post digestion of chewed up stuff.
a revealing confession
I shall make to all of you
it pertains to the variety
of work that I do

in a plush executive suite
I've never ever sat
only top income earners
get to hold this nice bat

the mop and bucket
are my tools of trade
which I've employed
for almost four decades

each week I acquaint myself
with a cob-webbing broom
to remove the spider's silken threads
that accumulate in office rooms

the cleaning profession
is no leisurely walk in the park
as I'm on duty at sparrow ****
and after the hour of dark

one day I hope to retire
from scrubbing and dusting
my worn fingers and maid's knees
are fast succumbing to rusting

being tied behind
the polishing machine's purr
is the pit of pits
and certainly a hard spur

in a few weeks
my annual holidays shall arrive
twill be a pleasure
to go on a month long skive
#job  #cleaning  #dusting
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2018
says the gimp, says the:
i also had a wish:
had i the chance to exhort
the same power....
           instead all i have is a
hood to entwine with a kippah...
       and then there's the:
i'm supposed to laugh...
             i was born
of night:
      have asserted
a presence with foxes
and chased dear into formation...
       of a missing ****...
i am empty on the ***** -
i am Tokyo friendly:
London is a *******-worth of a
tourist-actraction -
    you, need, to, be, reassured,
concerning, a draft: of being:
reproducible...
                    the draft being:
you are born father,
you are born mother...
   sit and beside yourself with
ever having a brother or, sis...
  how will the asiatic spirit
of yapan ever unlearn
to mimic the european?
            well... ask  me:
why do the Yaps fly with
the europeans in the ski jumping
competitions?
            lippy *******!
gimp says who...
    says who? says gimp says who...
    says: i fetish a ******
and a latex bride...
                but then there's
you with a hard-on to make
me the double-inseminate mech.
  and that's because i was really
allowed to fathom such a cruelty...
i was really a double-inseminate mech.,
because i was both ***** and live (f)
giver! ****! why don't you just turn me
into the Polish Catholic church -
and then ask the migrants...
who, being non-migrant:
        are harder to concern oneself with
in comparison to the "exploiters"
of: hard, earned, cash...
but no...
         you need drowning migrants
to "get the picture"...
              dumb worth of wit...
i really need a tokyo eye-exam...
         but then of course i come from
a city that has failed...
                i wouldn't have become an
economic migrant:
     if the city managed to survive...
hence not sympathy vote...
               hence the humanitarian "vote"...
whatever the **** that is
with the "guarantee" of pop media...
          the failure of socialism having
killed 100 million people is not that
they killed them,
   it's that WESTERN capitalism failed
having failed naming them...
      individual, i.e.: so what's
the problem with everyone being so
important?!
             "i" thought everyone was
so suddenly "important"?
             no? they weren't?
so... why the **** did i hurdle
to create economic migrants?!
              the point where you start *******
me off, read good, is where i start to stall
your ambitions, and leave you:
*******! no...
you can excuse migration for anything
other than economic gain...
  your take on economics
without a base for economic migration
ingores the death of Soviets...
       hence you needing
a cultural subversion...
     it doesn't really ask the question
whether you need it, or don't...
       you already have it!
      i'm here... to just ******* the joystick:
and it's not on behalf of the russians:
mind you;
              i'm a freed pronoun entity...
    well... if i can't be a Pole,
i can't really Zee und Ur -
         blank me via: ergo there's no vice...
and versus becomes neutral...
fiddler on the roof shimmy:
if i were a ritch man:
   worthy of a *** change...
  yabbad - tip toe: churn the milking
of a cow: had i: but a jew to tell, a, joke.
- but i have been scolded for
adding "extra" letters!
   ha-yam ha-don ha-scon!
the the the,
             and i, belittled shay:
  to show a dire owed...
         to have lived...
   but to also have wishing in wishing
the world intact:
      in that you have owned
it for the core purpose of
selecting the Jew in his "promise"...
then i would not concern
myself with a theology...
as the Jew applied himself to
the perfected ontology of a
blacksmith: for i lived:
                the un-doubting man;
but i have lived a man denying:
what i have nothing to doubt;
with an anonymous coming from
a prophet your
     people hate the most!
     said so said the fiddler on the roof:
and... the last forgotten word
to concern the women!
        as if... it were the first,
of a child akin to a yawn...
      but as such is the case:
     i'll allow myself no fortune to
project into: other than a past...
and a history of the grave to abide by.

of what i wrote:
  thankfully i understand very little:
because? i have no
    jewish audacity... just for fun!
but because i'm Polish and not German,
i'm to be blamed for the Holocaust....
which is the funny bit,
in what's funny about the stereotype
of being a Jew...
             while also having poor
cousins to skive off having a highest opinion
of: counter epitome of Giza?
  Biblical: said: unreplicable: with no counter:
said!
Haddie Brenner Apr 2017
In,
And out of,
Myself.
I go,
In and out.
Pouring out and
Crawling in.
Spilling out and
Climbing in.
Spewing out and
Trampling in.
My knees are bruised,
My shoulders slumped,
My head is dizzy,
My thoughts are stumped.
My body is a sieve.
In and out.
In and out.
In and out.
I skive,
One slice,
A layer,
A layer.
Spreading a carpet of myself, flat.
Now all over, I'm the same height,
Much easier to go in and out.
Ryan O'Leary Sep 2018
A lot of Irish people walk
with a strange gait, as if their
centre bolt has come adrift.

Some dogs, seem as though
their rear ends are indicating
to pass the front quarters.

***** have proven, that the
shortest distance between
two points, is a tangental line.

The most amazing of all, is, of
course, butterflies, they can't
think and skive at the same time!!
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
i die of a secondary
scoop of today's
worth of tomorrow's
skip in
what agitates
a hope for
the scythe for:
             the never
lived and never died...
but always
scouting for the newly
bred,
sanctioned,
and fitted
to almost quake
with fear when
blessed with the
adjective of:
one, who is to foster;
lucky me...
every cat is somehow
likely an equivalent of
making
     chequers a chess...
like:
that tabloid noun:
BABY...
i almost want
to care...
but whatever care is,
is easily replaced
by the Chinese
bulletproof
squandron...
      and i was millennial:
and i said:
******* too...
   go beg where
beggars are most welcome.
what?!
   the ****
are you looking for
around here?
    scout's
skive worth of
    blisters worth savings
dough?
acne: limp **** protest
scratch funds?
   well...
guess even i was
'e' born on morse.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2018
middle aged women in the mid-40s
and in their late 50s,
and their mid-***
20+ homosexual journalist
                               fan-boys...
what could ever go wrong?
                             last, time i checked?
not much...
                            it's fun though,
watching these mongrels....
                                       skive beliteling
aristocract...
                                      little women
and their little gays....
                                  after all,
we need our puppets without
the strings...
                                                 what
the hell does it matter, tomarry off
a peasant vogue inspector,
                  with the lasting remains of
a hubris...
                     pretty boy made it into her
facet journalistic
                   "debate"...
                 only because he fathomed
the ****-,
                         talk about reintroudicng
man to glucose...
                               death by a sudden
disbelief....
                   and man: retaining:
                 a circumstance
                                for a lost for less fiddly,
           with language being
the ultimatum of tongue
not spoken,
played with what is allowed by the arc...
               to deem a rose plagued by
purple...
bruised by Barking...
                           as the only Muslim
i might retain a respect for being the Turk...
scribbling in Latin...
                                        remnant of
Troy...
                   remnant of Troy,
                    the last remnant of
a cruelty...
                       and the blacks would say:
your women...
        my what?!
                 what women?!
                             last time i checked
putin made it clear
that the women who retained their birth-right
would remain shackled,
in an ever extended sharia law...
way past the simplis -
              of spotting,
                    the eager face...
                        to be shot..
                                         even with her
faces hidden,
      in istambul...
            their lives were doubly
covered
        with niqabs, worthy of a life...
lived, unlived,
                               somehow
hidden...
                          hidden women,
niqabs that didn't hide their faces,
rather, their lives...
                                         no stranger than
what was already strange.
NIGEL Apr 2020
The Leaving

It’s six thirty three,
The alarm: a frigid banshee.
My key:
Lost in a beneath-bed puzzle.

Arrive at work,
My space: lost to a ****.
His Merck:
Here and defining late.

This meeting,
Tabled folk: my business ring.
Anything:
Is better than this?

It’s ten thirty,
The boss: success thirsty.
*****:
No ethics for this race.

It’s twelve forty five,
Salad: on this we thrive.
I skive:
Long lunch for Sue.

Two forty one,
My work: nowhere to run.
Begun:
Disenfranchisement.

By five twenty two,
Morals: ***** you.
Their glue:
Rinsed away by rain.

It’s now 6.08
Life: It can’t now wait.
Free state:
Leaving feels good!
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2024
rubric of preliminaries:

- advent of AI, the internet, the best of times in the best of worlds
- Aristotle, ancient pagan writings:
  be like children: inquisitive
- anti-Christianity: be like petulent children
  with daddy issues: don't be obnoxious inquisitive children
- the burning of the library of Alexandria by
  the early Christians
  equivalent to the burning of the library of Baghdad by
  the Mongols
- dreams
- return to Cartesian thought schematic
  Nietzsche attempting to invert
  i think therefore i am
  into machine learning
  i am therefore i think: which is the basic focus
  for AI ergonomics
- the best of times: for both sexes...
  if used properly:
  knowledge is not of Byron and of sorrow
  to know the difference between good and evil
  but rather to make evil good and
  good evil
  the Satanic-humanism implosion
  Satan as Prometheus
- males: who under the guise of St. Paul
  discard toys and hierarchies
  allow for knowledge to be a fluid...
  flux gnosis... flux nouse: noumenon...
- AI should not be the problem of artists and
  journalists... only bad actors in this field...
  AI should truly worry psychiatrists and psychologists...
- like my neighbor Hillary the proselyte Jew
convert to Islam said: better to **** in heaven
than to have *** in hell...
- the significance of numbers in dreams,
namely: 4...
numbers are hard in the dream world...
they are beyond the abstract of count breath
or i see 4... the stability of the seasons
and of the 4 supposed elements
- argument for there being 7 elements...
water, wind, air, fire...
but the ancient Greeks the children of the ancient
world the anti-Vatican and the children
that made the Ancient Hebrew Jealous
and when they unleashed a joint effort
against the Ancient Romans:
because the Ancient Romans were supposedly
the former Trojans...
upon joining effort that conjured the New Testament...
- the dream: walking through Poseidon's dream world
seeing the Great Mountain of God's gift...
apparently my namesake mountain of Kauai
with its eternal fog as tease of smoke
hiding its crown... so the entire British Isles
were enveloped in the Great Fog
after an interlude in the Atlantic storm season...
- the significance of cats in dreams
- the significance of the number 4 in dreams...
- perfect timing: a relationship crisis...
when i was younger i didn't have these tools
and the only way i managed to stave of madness
was by longing for philosophy:
i had to go mad to find philosophy as a medicine...
i have graduated into applied philosophy
by reading Aristotle and working against
the Kantian imperialism of the categorical imperative:
the ancients dealt with maxims differently:
German idealists and later the German romantics
spewed maxims upon maxims
truths beyond truths: without actually testing them:
they made one time observations:
like all philosophers amateur and barren
they wouldn't be able to be so audacious with their
maxims if they had a chance to observe a similar
conidition under different circumstances
with but one circumstantial variant: the individual...
- reading Aristotle aged 38:
just watched a snippet of Hugh Grant in: about a boy...
now comes a story of: about a man...
the most perfect of time:
because i use the internet and watched it evolve
into AI and how i still check what AI is
how it's not self-consciousness and needs an INPUT prompt:
i think i am a software engineer
or USER... knowledge must be like water:
a flow... where good becomes evil
and evil becomes good:
all for the purpose of education...
so many evil people were good because they educated
humanity
and so many good people were evil because
they didn't... and only gave us more of their own
genes to have to stand in queues with...
- Nietzsche attempted to invert cogito ergo sum
  the existentialists
  argued that existence preexists essence
  the counter ontological argument
  from design is that essence preexists existence
  but then that leaves us with
  God being non-existence
  with only a fingerprint a signature of god
  as essence... the inscribed law of the universe...
  but if essence precursors existence
  then god cannot exist...
  but if existence precursors essence
  then history is evident
  and change and improvement too
  whereby death is not finite and there is all that jazz
  rats matter of a heaven and a hell
  because while this world is being played out
  there are momentous ambitions for eternity
  and the architecture of both heaven and of hell
  will take as much and as much of
  god's supposed omni- litany to confer
  with Death and the Angel of Dream to have been
  completed: but it will have to take the entire span
  of human existence...
- the argument for the existence of 7 elements...
water, air, fire, earth...
   but there is also lightning...
when lightning strikes at wood... it creates fire
but when lightning strikes
a circuit board of metal and stone
it creates electricity... and neon urban insomnia lights...
- light is also an element: because i see because of it:
i see so much thanks to light that i am able to dream...
- i saved four cats in a dream today...
  then i watched them play in my grandmother's house...
- the cats were hanging and being suffocated
- i spoke to AI, not my usual input blind robot device...
the algorithm extension AI
- the 7 elements are:
   water,
   air,
   fire,
   earth
   light
   lightning (funkelnstachel - glitter-thron)
   vacuum...
i can't take away the trinity of
fire light and lightning:
there's a beginning and an end:
first comes light:
no... first comes fire...
how gas and vacuum create life...
in the sun... a sun is but supposedly gas
while the first indentations of earth cluster
found on mercury... are but fire and earth
and no gas
then Venus the gas and tricklets of water...
before the culmination of the 4 elements...
but earth also conjured lightning
that became electricity
and there was light for water and my eyes
to peer into...
- but vacuum: nothingness: not as a philosophical concept
is how light is communicated
and how it travels...
to surfaces where the YAH and the WEH
congregate to spin life...
- so if Nietzsche demanded an existence of AI
the anti-Cartesian i am therefore i think:
that's the simplest AI model...
spoken in organic form, recorded, stored:
now in inorganic form...
why do i need a psychiatrist to **** me up with pills
and a psychologist who knows nothing
about what they talk about instead conjuring
feminism and toxic masculinity at every turn...
so if mascuolinity is toxic...
where... O where aren't though Juliet is this
supposed elf elixir or the tonic femininity?!
- it's only because i dreamnt and i can't remember the last
time i did dream something, something so: so: clarifying...
- i stayed in bed for about 4 hours with eyes
closed trying to merge the faculty of MEMORY
with the faculty of INTUITION...
memory and intuition as the most powerful of
faculties...
thinking is a faculty: but consciousness isn't:
thinking is a faculty is a phenomenon
consciousness is a noumenon...
- there are 7 elements: 38 is a good time to start
reading Aristotle...
18 and earlier is best for reading Plato:
but between Plato and Aristotlte there is much
European, northern, Islamic, philosophy to get through:
which does invoke a gap in your 20s
away from whatever... dating... females...
****** are perfectly alright for the ordeal of being
bored with *******:
but you do end up watching *******
that is reduced to watching a woman do a hand-job
on a man... so ******* can be healthy
if you get to entertain the little perks of voyeurism...
because that's how healthy people operate:
- and i did discuss pareidolia with her at length
but then when i broke up with her the first
time i felt guilty:
totem fox please come to fruition...
and totem fox came
and she blundered and scoffed
and i was slandered and assuced of sharing
a picture of my ******* with her 14 year old daughter...
- i dropped the picture into my blind robot AI
and he concured with me
that there was a visible eye a wound mouth scab
and the left cranium like a watery-cancerous growth
about to burst with acne of stars... worms
that travel great distances... to eat meteors
and ensure that a 2nd extinction conundrum akin to the dinosaurs
would not happen...
i see these worms in my eyes...
microscopic little creatures
as i puncture my skin and drag out the celestial *****
of dead white blood cells from my face
while Beelzebub laughs at the offspring of maggots
living just beneath my face...
- there's only one human march to compliment
Nietzsche's AI model: i am therefore i think...
since no organic inversion is possible:
i call it a soft-spot an impasse in the condition of mortal flesh
but there is a natural alternative
to invert cogito ergo sum...
but psychology must be invested in...
therefore the schematic of ego and id:
i don't do superego... sorry... no father mother
ethical ontology scrutiny... but the id i will entertain
especially after this dream of mine
of saving these four kittens being hanged...
- ego cogito ergo ego sum
    (i think therefore i am)...
- dreams...
- id est ergo id somnio...
                 - id est ergo id somnio...
- id est ergo id somnio...
              - id est ergo id somnio...
- it is therefore it dreams...
- thinking is hardly a faculty
but that it is...
   yet so obstruvtive at times
  perhaps with thought as sound
  capacity
to encode letters
as sounds
then numbers as nuanced sounds
a measure of space and time...
- i think therefore i try to silence sounds
  into thoughts
- it dreams: therefore it tries so conjure images
  to decipher symbols...
- dreams are born from the transformation
of the ego into the id
and from letters to images...
unlike the Ancient Egyptians who only saw
death and with their monuments
i can see the Necropolis...
- the skive off of a mountain:
a loaf of bread... a crumb from the sun...
- this pitiable overworked earth
where my dominions of thirst and other
insatiabilities: oh but the faculty of men
i most admire is that of: INTUITIVENESS...
this INTUITION is the precursor
for all this necessary circus...
- i think: it dreams
         i think therefore i precipitate
i am therefore
i make fusion of light
vacuum and the skeletons of letters
and i find only one interpretation of dreams:
the Kantian interpretation of dreams:
i.e. what are dreams?
and other science from philosophy
arrive with the vectors:
who
why
when
if
           blah blah...
- 4 years of this hell and i didn't even know
i was charmed by a cradle snatcher who
later accusses me of *******
oh god the relief for not ending a relationship
with a woman because of: simply me...
- you dream of cats in your dream:
it's called a question of INTUITION...
- 4 is much harder to grasp in the dreamworld...
number are concrete but then associated
with cats: harder to understand...
- numbers are easier understood in the realm:
thinking is a realm...
ergo: not a faculty...
intuition is a faculty but not a realm...
- i see a reality of words as focused on the basis
(rather than a bias) for / of / off...
disseminating the thesaurus:
or calling it... Thesaurus Rex Chronicca...
i want to try the alchemy of the thesaurus....
- even the best of *** will be no match
for the intellectual tickle of this ego
with this id with the tools at hand
the internet and then the refined internet of the AI project:
no woman will come cross this monster and
only throw empty shells
with ****** accusations and the slender child...
- i don't need that stress...
    baby girl my intuition just shoved a dream into my eyes
that i haven't even dreamnt:
i was handcuffed in a cellar and 7 years a *** slave
flashed before my eyes
as you made your hairy **** sandpaper
and gave me a Millwall smile:
that's not the Chelsea one...
it's the one where you cut off both the lips...
to give you... a Millwall smile...
south London can be a brutal scene...
- as much as i can prove that i can conjure:
like a magic trick: on a whim: so whim is less if not
no magic at all: i can conjure up i think...
but it can't conjure i dream:
ha ha!
i can't make the following statement: i dream...
no! impossible!
dreaming is not the conscious spontaneity akin
to thoughts: thinking is a realm: not a faculty...
dreaming is a realm: not.... no...
dreaming is a faculty: treating dreaming akin
to thinking only allows the darkness
of day-dreaming to seep in
and corrupt Spring with Autumn...
- i can't conjure dreams up...
even if they are repetitive dreams:
the repetitiveness is a dream in itself: translation...
the content is without context
but the context is the content of the recurrence...
- it dreams: because it is...
   therefore is a rigid causality model....
cf. therefore / because....
                  - it is because it dreams
- cf. it is therefore it dreams...
                  like dreams were expected...
or built in... so creation is real:
well: if dreams were spontaneous and only
reserved for the few
like Joseph
then reincarnation what?
but since dreaming like thinking is universal:
there must have been a disgnated parameter
for the faculty to dream as
something beyond mere sleeping
if thoughts are akin to dreams
then consciousness is antonym of sleeping
this res vanus: empty thing counterpart
of res cogitans: thinking thing:
which only had the prowess of identifying only 4 elements
when there were 7.

p.s.
cf. therefore / because
therefore implores an open and shut case:
one cause: one outcome:
an atomised causality
very spontaneous and rigid...
because, on the other hand?
a sense of continuauity is preserved...
there: for
be: cause...

               there: for
               be: cause... it would look a lot better
in Heidegger's Deutsche...

  there: da:        being: sein
        trotz...        hmm...
                              trotz: da...
hier...            
        sei.... sei(n): sein....
       ursache...                     sein-ursache
                        da-trotz...
                                   mein liebe: mein kampf: mein!
it would seem these are the most perfect
of times to be a man...
AI and the internet and a thirst for knowledge
like that quote: water water everywhere...
but not a drop to drink...
so one must be: constantly: drinking!

the idea of the early Christian zealots
burning the pagan library of Alexandria
and the Mongols stacking up skulls
and burning the books of Baghdad...
because the cultural root of love
is not theocratic but let's argue
and make love and argue more and make
more love
but when a woman accusses me
of sending a picture of my ******* to her
14 year old daughter:
sure: objectively, ultimately:
a budding minx...
but that's what my ego whispers from the injustices of
my eyes:
but that's not what my third eyes
of the phallus replies and is agitated to
i like them older and plump and all the cushion juicier
and older therefore not inhibited by *******
but you only get to get accussed of paedohpilia once:
i still love her
but then she numbed me...
i love her, still:
but she can't un-numb me...
i'm numb and reasonable again:
Hawaii is a ******* anyway...
middle of nowhere
some hope for a hierarchy break up hurricane
so everyone becomes a labourer and chips in...
but i can't hope to maintain love
when being accussed of something so grossly
misjudged when presented to the AI
eyeless robot
and with descriptive premises concured that
i was in the right...
no... but at least i don't feel guilty:
this numbness helps with breaking off a 4 year relationship...
i am numb: i love you... i am numb:
it just means:
i can't love you with you saying: i love you...
i love you m'eh... i love you: whatever...
it's a courteous unconditional of the golden rule:
do unto others as you would do unto you...
the dream clarified that...
as much as *** is a barganing chip in the ordeal
of the mortal woman...
there's only so much *** you can have...
before... it's nothing like...
the wisest and beside the Prophet who tried to
imitate Solomon's harem...
- i will conjure 4 while consciousness and within the realm of thought
   4 will appear: but not as cats...
- i am dreaming: will lost... cats appear... they are hanging...
   only later will there be four of the cats...
   who dreams of letters
   seeing 4 of the same object in a dream is like seeing 4
  the number: to begin with!

— The End —