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Umi Aug 2019
An emotion so patient yet so sinnister, always awaiting a mere moment of weakness to strike you down and take you down with it,
Succeeding where nor hate and fear may ever reach,
Slowly, gently wrapping itself around ones mind, clouding their judgement, consuming, destroying and manipulating until no more willpower nor energy remains to resist the weight of this special hell,
Coldness, infinite distance, only to be reached by true love, yet fully in this accursed state, one may not understand "love" anymore,
Numbing misery with seemingly no end nor real beginning,
A feeling so aggressively taking its hold on its victim,
Yet so passively presenting it.
Just what is its intention ?
I give up, its hopeless.

~ Umi
Flowing from my mind like an open ocean.
Words converge in my head all seduced by my sadness.
Love is the catalyst for my torture.
Though this is the truth, I still dare to fall in love.
I hate how foolish I am when it comes to you.

In the night time I used to cut my wrists.
I watched the blood leave as my adrenaline came in.
I felt alive in those moments.
I think it's cause I was dying a little.
I hate how that happens when I look at you.

You were so similar to me.
Yet I understand that we could never ever really be.
So I used to watch the sun die at night time.
In those moments I dream of you.
I hate how attached I am though I don't know you.

I have poison in my heart and you admire it.
I know it's not love but whatever it is I hunger for it.
You've changed the way I think about being.
I wanna live only in admiration of you.
I hate how you make all that is wrong with me feel right.

There's something sinnister about you.
It's as if deep down I know you'll disappear.
Like I know you are definitely to good to be true.
I want to speak to you forever and always.
I hate how much I know I love you.
This is a poem about how terrible love is.

— The End —