When was the last time i felt emotional and teary eyed?
The last time i felt like a real human?
When was the last moment i tried to captivate my dearest thoughts?
That moment I felt irrational..
When was the last time I seek for wisdom, coffee, book and warmth?
The last time I tickle my guitar and sing with all I am.
The last time I treasured the serene sound of the air
And sat on the most tip edge of the boat..
The moment I watched the perfect blue skies..
Still myself in the middle of the sea..
The last time I burst in anger of my own faults..
And laugh at my own self’s stupidity..
The last time i fell in love with someone..
Felt compassion for the lost to the point that
I no longer seek my own good but the good of those people I love..

I guess I’ve become mechanic for some time,
And forgotten that I am still living a human life..
I walk and talk when said, i have done this and done that myself,
All is required to be done by sched..
Yhis is whats filling my head instead..

"Am I still human?" I asked myself,
As I rise and take a peek of myself in front of the mirror..
I saw my full body reflection..
Still having my heart locked up inside my body’s rib..
And my skin still stitched with me, protecting my innermost being..

I bit my lip as i ***** myself,
A big grin started overlapping my face..
With all conviction I said,
”I will be a human today! for I am a soul in this living body!!!”

Your sadness makes other people uncomfortable,
and so you learn to hide it.
You learn to cope
with humor and ***** and a busy sched.

Your body learns to smile
even when you're crumbling down inside,
to keep walking
even when you wanna fall to the ground in the middle of the road.

You've conditioned yourself to do all this
so well that even when the right people come around
who are willing to take in all your losses
and watch every single tear fall from your eyes,
you don't.

You smile.
You drink.
You keep walking.
But you can only do so for so long... how long

I have written poems of love for community
For God, for family, for nature, for country
But it’s the first one for 1 person like thee

This is the first time that I’m gonna express
The truest beat of my heart – nothing more, nothing less
For a person who truly gives me happiness

Yes, you make me glad everytime I see your face
But it’s your whole body I wanna embrace
This is the first time I feel this kind of craze

Stronger than any previous feeling of infatuation
This one is a different sense of admiration
‘Coz it’s the first & only one that entered my illusion

An illusion called “dream” when I am sleeping
A taste of heaven while I am resting
The highest pleasure for any human being

But again it’s an illusion that never satisfies
The crave of flesh that my soul defies
With such frustration, my whole body cries

Yet, it’s okay if you I cannot have
‘Coz I don’t wanna engage in a forbidden love
And I’ve decided to be just a single dove

A single dove till the day of my demise
I’ll never hope for you even if time flies
You’re just until the reach of my hopeless eyes

It’s enough that you’ve entered my dream
I cannot have you even if I scream
Can’t fill my cup to the brim

Must not drown in the soup of my own
Must not let the sensation pass through the bone
Must not let the magma spill over the cone

Your “Super Saiyan” face is for my eyes only
Even your 6-pack abs and super hero body
Find a perfect girl for your perfect masculinity

Your manliness which first struck me 4 years past
When in Padagyaw you gracefully danced
With your protruding height and muscles robust

Since then everytime I see you, there’s chill inside
But this feeling so shameful I must hide
Myself is overtaken by showy pride

When I was still in Teacher Education
I await the days of examination
‘Coz that would be the chance to see you thereon

And I never imagined that you can be
A student who will be under me
‘Coz I never surmised to be in Criminology

Now that I’m here, I can see you more frequently
How it makes my days complete & happy
From daily stresses you have set me free

With your “astig looks”, first thought you’re a snob
But I was wrong ‘coz you’re cheerful like Sponge Bob
Polite & helpful too…Thanks for being part of my job

Never can I forget the day when you helped me
To correct exam sched & deliver bluebooks that are heavy
Thanks gentleman! You’re marked in my history!

Let me say sorry too for this sensual feeling
I don’t mean to pervert your manly being
You’re just so adorable & captivating

You are the most handsome student for me
No one has surpassed your astonishing beauty
So for my neglect, I apologize heavily

Yes, I regret too the day of not choosing you
To represent our department in Mr. CapSU
That was our big chance to overtake TED blue

For not giving you such big opportunity
To make proud of your handsome face & body
I’m so sorry, a really big sorry

May in the future you’ll find someone
Who will grant your beauty a place in the sun
Never again to be disregarded by everyone

‘Coz of all the men in my fantasy
You are the best! The one and only!
Maintain your stature! Be the best you can be!

Oh my Adonis! Oh my Hyacinth! You’re so bright!
Make your character as noticeable as your height!
Impress and inspire, my Charming Knight!

-02/08/2015
(Dumarao)

No, we're not close but
we constantly bump to each other.

Different time;
different instances
but same hallway, anyway.

our eyes met,
thrice as I count.
but no curve
has been shared.

until time tricked us.
I, running for my sched
while, you, returning for
forgotten files.

Elevator was our only chance
G, 1, 2, 3 ... 7
same floor, of course.

silence never bothered me.
but at state, it felt awkward.

'I'm depressed,'
your mouth finally opened.
I had a second thought,
and looked at you.

'ting.' the door opened.
you stepped outside
leaving my thoughts behind.

'hey, what was that?'
I had a surge of curiosity.

you turned your head
and smiled in recognition.
the other day, no trace of you
in the hallway.

I can't help myself,
and paved my way.
starting from none is hard,

I realized.
I stayed at the hallway for awhile.

a new face approached me,
handling me a note,
'am I reMARKable?'
I dazed in amusement.

all the memories of qc
came back rushing back at me
the first time i rode toki to up
when we got lost under fire trees

who would ever forget philcoa
our first date at chemistea at maginhawa
i got late to my sched at palma
coz the line was so long at north edsa

you deserve that love who asks how your day went
even if you forgot to reply because of your hectic sched
that love who brews you coffee without asking
since they saw you yawn amidst work
that love who still listens
even when you are imitating a cat's purr

you deserve that love who holds your hand whenever you cross a bridge
since they are aware how afraid you are of heights
that love who remind you you are beautiful
when you tried not to eat because of gaining another pound
that love who captures the moon when they can
knowing how much you love the evening sky

you deserve the love that tries.
you deserve the love that lasts.