"riskless" poems
Emotionless, flowing through a crowd of faceless souls
A net of interactions that I am no longer a part of
Each second I feel less and less, until I'm an empty vessel
On the edge, brain going toe to toe with the devil
Rotting amygdala in the cranium, insanity
Not a single shred of dignity or humanity
Running off no sleep, tobacco and black coffee
No spirit left, except the pack in my back pocket
I want nothing, but need everything
all decisions past made to lead to serenity
Going with the flow has left me alone with no one
Why am I still here, where the hell am I going
Long nights, long days, pretending I'm something I'm not
Self deprecation and loathing patterns, indigenous thoughts
Result is cold and heartless, riskless life to avoid the loss
No solution horizon, mentally falling apart
Fed up, hallucinations gone and messed my head up
Yesterday is forgotten but tomorrow already dreaded
Depression has blossomed, guilt trips and sunken ships
Internal warfare, life is chaos amongst the midst
Oct 1, 2013
Oct 1, 2013 at 4:16 PM UTC
Please read the notes first.
Tally time, conclusion forming,
"Some day," grown nearer.
Tree's longest branch,
Coming to reach, reaching to come.
Soon to beat and plead upon
Cottage window and door.
Rooted whisperer, jealous reminder,
Revered warning, timely sounding,
Your time of Reckless Choice arriving
Destination's unnamed coordinates, uncoordinated,
Journey from wherefrom to wherever, unrecorded,
Observed by silenced overlording sky,
Testimony of the seeing voiceless clouds,
All nought and to no avail, destination head-shaking,
These white witnesses,
Muted, deaf, dumbfounded,
Knowing, yet incapable of telling
State of sated steady staid,
Sundered by sharp silent sounds,
Reckless surpasses Riskless,
Life is a recitation, an enunciation
When my less to say is soon none,
My Reckless Choice, now chosen,
Unforced but enforced,
I shall be gone
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 6:55 AM UTC
I can only afford glances
Swift and riskless
You can't see me
And you can't know
Each detail of you
Means more to me
Than you will ever understand
But I won't tell you
Am I a coward, for
Knowing my limits
Knowing we would never work
Knowing you'll never love me
I try to turn away
But I can't
You're too close
You're too far away
With a turn of your head
You catch me
I'm frozen as you smile
A confused smile
Do you think me psychopathic
Your smile is dramatic
And slightly empathetic
Do you already know
I'll promise myself to keep away
But you're magnetic
If only you loved me
If only you loved me
Jan 30, 2013
Jan 30, 2013 at 12:19 PM UTC
All roads given, and I took the shortest.
With each step lessened, one more second
Could be granted to my resting joy:
A contempt existence riskless to the pushing wind.
Only, when looking behind from the alley vantage,
Points can be seen where decisions deemed
Correct at the crossings, a straightforward
Mind decides to never turn.
This is a consequence only in hindsight is learned.
I've had much time to observe this as my road,
The shortest road, has been nearing it's end.
And as I lay myself upon the frigid brick,
I can no longer feel the wind.
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 19, 2016 at 5:34 PM UTC