"quilty" poems
Who will forgive me for the things I do?
With no special legend of God to refer to,
With my calm white pedigree, my yankee kin,
I think it would be better to be a Jew.
I forgive you for what you did not do.
I am impossibly quilty. Unlike you,
My Friend, I can not blame my origin
With no special legend or God to refer to.
They wear The Crucifix as they are meant to do.
Why do their little crosses trouble you?
The effigies that I have made are genuine,
(I think it would be better to be a Jew).
Watching my mother slowly die I knew
My first release. I wish some ancient bugaboo
Followed me. But my sin is always my sin.
With no special legend or God to refer to.
Who will forgive me for the things I do?
To have your reasonable hurt to belong to
Might ease my trouble like liquor or aspirin.
I think it would be better to be a Jew.
And if I lie, I lie because I love you,
Because I am bothered by the things I do,
Because your hurt invades my calm white skin:
With no special legend or God to refer to,
I think it would be better to be a Jew.
2.3k
MH17.... one year further
The grief of families
The loss of lives
Bodyparts in the winter landscape
A year flies
But the 298 victims
They don't speak
They don't cry
They just rest
The rest of the innocent
And the quilty rest
Might never be caught
While the toys as ever hold their tongues
- Heerings July 2015
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015 at 2:34 PM UTC
12.00pm--
now she was floating
in thin air.
she couldn‘t see herself
because she was not
even there.
13.00pm--
she barely heard
the police siren in the
far distance.
she could feel her ghost
slowly separating from
her bleeding body.
14.00pm--
all she felt were hands,
number of hands touching her,
all over her body, examining
her like she was a science project.
she didn't like it.
but soon she was going to be with
him, and that's what calmed her.
15.00pm--
finally, she was finally gone.
she didn't exist anymore.
all she was now,
was a spirit, while
her lifeless body was in
an old coffin.
16.00pm--
before she went and saw him,
she wanted to know how her
mom was holding up.
she certainly didn't expect this,
her only daughter to be dead.
nobody did.
17.00pm--
she saw him.
just a glimpse of him,
but still.
he was here, with her.
finally, they were together,
where they truly belonged.
18.00pm--
she was now in london.
she left the rainy and dull
germany and went here.
she was just a ghost,
she could go anywhere
she wanted.
after a long tine, she was
happy,
whatever that meant, now.
19.00pm--
she hasn't seen him.
she was exploring the world,
but she could sense something
was missing.
it was him.
and she would do anything
in her power to find him.
after all, she killed herself for him.
20.00pm--
he still wasn't found.
she didn't even know where she was,
heaven or hell?
it didn't feel like any of those.
21.00pm--
she was torn.
this wasn't heaven.
nor it was hell either.
it felt like something,
bittersweet.
22.00pm--
she went by her house.
she shouldn't have.
she saw her mom,
crying her eyes out on the
dinning room table.
she felt quilty, for once.
and she kept watching as
her mom screamed and cursed
at the world for her daughter‘s death.
23.00pm--
it wasn't in her nature,
but she gave up.
she shouldn't have,
but she was worn out.
her death, her dying,
was a mistake.
but she realized it a little too late,
and now it was impossible to
turn back time.
Mar 23, 2014
Mar 23, 2014 at 12:19 PM UTC
No emotions what so ever,
Iv become cold and numb
Like the winters frozen water
Every day I feel emptier n emptier
I know Im supposed to feel some type of feeling but what is there to feel anymore I go on with life day by day in saudade just reminiscing on the past and questioning my future , wondering if Ill ever feel happy if Id ever fall in love again but just the thought of it scares me. I go by meeting new ppl every day getting to know them, they start to feel something towards me and me?? Oh nothing I cant feel a thing for no one maybe Im not ready, maybe its not the right time, maybe it was just not ment for me.
I constantly try to build emotions and try to create a picture but nothing its just a blank sheet.
my feeling are all gone my heart has become numb and defensive . I guess it got tired of being treated like it was nothing, now it treats others like nothing.
I've become who I said Id never become a cold hearted person that doesnt give a **** about nothing is this good or bad, iv pushed away many and iv used others for my convenience, iv used her as a shield to feel safe to have someone I can come to when Im drunk at 4am but after those drinks leave my system and quilty pleasure is made shes no longer needed
Ive miss treated family members cause they once miss treated me and iv become bitter and hateful cant even talk to them cause a rush of anger builds up
What have I become ?
Just another emotionless person running around breaking hearts cause it desires comfort for just a few minutes because its lost and doesnt know what to feel,
Or just another person that seeks revenge n constantly hates the elderly ?
Daze in n daze out Ive slowly dazed into the un none zone were nothing makes sense anymore .
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 11:43 AM UTC
To stress
To weak minded people
To pain, and suffering
To no anger
To no more drama
To being messed understood
To moving backwards
To falling
To violence in the world
To no negative people
To disrespected
To heart being broken
To being confused, being lost
To mistakes being made
To trying to please others
To the world judging you
To feeling quilty all the time
No matter what the world throw at you, dont feel like you are obligated to say Yes, you can always SAY NO MORE.
Jul 27, 2019
Jul 27, 2019 at 11:38 AM UTC