"probabaly" poems
Numb deep within
Can't feel my feet
Up to my heart
Do i exist?
Anytime i feel
It hurts
Everyrhing races
i am afriad
I can't remeber
Ever belonging
Not in a social sense
Or being real
I get too tired
I feel as a child
Seeing monsters
Giant man eating
Lobsters
Demons running amok
Every breath of mine is bad
Luck
I swear to god
I belong in a mental institute
Im not real
Are you?
I'm alone
Ive been alone forever
And ever more
I'll be alone
My life is flashing
It's all been so quick
And I've hated every second
Of my breathing
I miss my mother
I miss my brothers
My whole family
I think played a big whammy
They must be fake too
My scared eyes sometimes see
Through
Theres a veil you see
Doctors say it's anxiety
Thats a lie to keep me busy
We aren't real
I'm so scared
I can't describe this fear
It never leaves me
I'm shivering and afraid
The monsters coming to consume me
Look hard enough
You'll see real mosnters
Slenderman and demons
Theyre all real
Mocking us
Im still a little girl
Sad and afriad of the world
All i see is fear and creatures
Lurking with no ****** features
No one will hold me
My soul is ******* empty
Is god real
Why won't he answer me
He probabaly is around
And ignoring me
That is the theme of my
Reality
Can someone just hold me
Let me forget my dark reality
Im so ******* afraid
I must be extremely brave
I see demons larger then i can comprehend
Yet i go out and still stand
If someone held me
And didn't leave
Maybe for ahwile
I would feel real
And not as a scared
Child
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 4:46 AM UTC
Falling in it,
was easy,though it was deep.
Hardest with which I was ever hit,
without warning, swept me off my feet.
Saying it loud,
was tough,to ever speak.
Heartbeats silenced the words of mouth,
thought the quiet would bespeak.
Waiting for it,
was where I was but, very weak.
But the world around me didn't permit,
changing who I was,so I let the poison seep.
Believing ,as it is,
was real, and it felt good.
Of all the million things, it was what it is,
acting crazy and glad, probabaly I would.
Figuring it out,
was dark, that's why I could'nt see.
I was just your entertainment, without a doubt,
walked the road where without me you can't be.
Crying it away,
was bleak, and I didn't do it.
As I wanted it to very much stay,
a whim,that you stil loved me, though you didn't admit.
Jan 27, 2011
Jan 27, 2011 at 3:38 AM UTC
I look out the window and watch the rain
I think of you and welcome the pain
Everything I do requires so much effort
You wouldn't notice though, you found someone better
I think back to the memories all the time
And realized how much I loved you, when you weren't mine
You were my everything with those big beautiful eyes
I had a crush on you from the start
I let myself believe that nothing could tear us apart
Sometime in March was the last time I saw you
You probabaly don't think about that day
You found someone new
You found someone better
You found someone who had it all together
You found someone who was pretty
You found someone with no self-pity
I haven't moved on
I don't know how
So take bow
You were lucky enough to find someone else
Someone better
Mar 15, 2012
Mar 15, 2012 at 7:47 PM UTC
//I swear I just have the same subconcious pattern every time with just waiting when I'm bordering extinction --
like maybe on someone throwing a lifesaver ?
*I'm literally someone's-accidental-bumping away from
falling off this escarpment,
A selcouth flower-drenched meadow just last week,
now all-of-the-sudden barren and pretty grim plateau*
***On the edge of extinction,
Do you retreat, or put up your last fight?***
*I feel an urge to dismiss all and jump off the edge.
Besides, Extinction is probably the name of our parellel realm.
and they probabaly say* "be careful! you're on the edge of Reality."__//__
But that’s just a lone-sweet picturesque visualization from my esteemed friend, Imagination.
Sadly, yes, everything just mentioned was just daydreams occuring while sparking others’ sangfroid.
***So when this little Miss Cure-Chaser
finally gets a breath-***
n it’s honestly usually more like half;
I realize that I just gave out the last drop
of my spirit’s nature to a stranger
when I realize this,
I also see that
no one paid heed to
the healer in need of healing
bastardized by the Real-Life
Nightmare of Californication
I forget the grace
residing in my survival;
When I’m all dished out,
When healing’s lost my fervor,
Scorching my lovely Fylgja.
Meanwhile my soul’s alongside
taking it’s toll, it’s Californication.
I throw on my once-was, back of the closet
Hot Mess resolution
a Way-Too-Tight black dress
And a shoe-like lace up back.
I turn to the mirror, and as I wink I say **** it.
It’s Californication,
and I’m its ******* Counterrevolution.
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 19, 2018 at 1:09 AM UTC
does it get any better than this?
probabaly not.
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 8, 2016 at 9:12 PM UTC