Empty
This is what I feel when its 3 am and I'm laying in bed awake
Although my eyes are heavy from lack of sleep I cannot bring myself to close them
I want to lay in the darkness for as long as I can
I also want to scream, to break the silence that has fallen on my house like smog
But I can't bring myself to open my mouth
I'm too tired
In the mental and physical sense of the word
Too tired to speak and to scream and too tired to do anything
I used to be happy
When did I stop being this way? I don't remember anymore
When did I stop smiling? Or looking people in the eye
When did people stop caring?
About me
About how I'm feeling
But I wouldn't even know what to say if they asked
How would you describe the feeling of being empty when you still remember what it was like to be whole? To be full to the brim?
How do you portray how your chest tightens every morning when you wake up
Or how it feels like I'm drowning inches away from the surface of the water and if only I could make it those few more inches I could **** in the sweet air
How do you explain that it feels like I'm running towards the light at the end of the tunnel but the light has vanished years ago.
But I'm still running. Hoping and praying to a god I don't believe in that the light is just around the bend.
And thats all I've got left
Like Pandora, I've let out all the monsters and plauges and evil but I've kept hope close.

The scars that cover my body, mind and soul.

The feeling of abandonment and lonliness.

The constant fear that plauges my entire existance.

The raw sting of rejection, judgement and betrayl.

The shattered fragments of my confidence and joy.

My interior that is bruised and battered from  fighting the battles inside.

The taste of unspoken words in my mouth that remain there, ever stagnant.

The hollowness of my stone-walled heart.

The steady stream of regrets that fill my veins.

With all these reminders, will I ever be allowed to forget?