"personals" poems
Parents sent me to see a therapist.
Therapist said you can speak freely and tell me all.
Therapist won my confidence so I opened up and told all.
Felt great having someone to share all and felt cared for.
Mind felt good and school rumors about me meant less.
Parents had a money fight and therapist quit seeing me.
Asked therapist to keep seeing me therapist said no.
Show me the money and I keep seeing you as a patient.
Hurt returned and felt like could talk to no one again.
Therapists are like prostitutes you pay to get a part of your body serviced.
I never will be married in real life.
I will settle for a net ceremony on gaiaonline with a guy I met.
He can't wait to hit it in virtual reality.
Got no real life experience in *** but learning to sext.
Getting better at it and practicing for my online wedding night.
I'm 18, I hate my parents and their ****** up lives.
Mom got home at noon from her overnight date with one of her men.
Men like my mom because she opens her legs for all men she meets on the net.
Dad likes his ****** he chats with on Facebook.
Think he cheating on his evil ***** who got with him for his money.
Dad likes them young like me and she wont be young forever.
She will be like my lonely mom ******** men she meets off personals.
Real life marriage is not in my plan.
Settling for an net marriage with a guy I met off personals.
Am I going to be like my mom?
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 4:21 PM UTC
If you had not cheated on mom and ******* up my mind with divorce.
If you still lived with mom and me you would know there's no school.
You would know snow stopped the buses so I'm stuck in the ****** house.
Mom is still on another all night date with like her million personals ad hookup.
My net fiance wants me to come on gaiaonline to practice for our honeymoon.
What to do when I don't like what he's typing or sexting?
Dad you called to bellow I am late for a school not in session.
Mom turned off her cell phone so she can be laid without me interrupting.
What to do when I don't like his sexting what he wants to do to my body.
Never had *** with anyone or had my body touched like he text to me.
Kids 9 years old are doing it and getting married on the net.
Easy when you got parents like mine who are dumb and care only about their lives.
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 6:58 AM UTC
mine are messed up
mine are hypocrites
mom answers too many personals and gets laid by strangers
dad stopped caring when he got another kid
dad bellows at me over stupid ****
mom don't want to talk to me
mom leaves her rules written in notes all over the house for me.
mom is never home to help me with homework
dad is too busy with his ***** and his new kid to care about my homework
dad calls me a little ***** when he gets mad
mom says I will be a ***** if I sleep around. HA! mom's a hypocrite!
mom hates breaking nails so I do all housework
dad drinks every day now that he's with the evil *****
dad friends ladies a few years older than me and flirts with them.
dad tells ***** jokes on facebook and I want to unfriend him.
mom doesn't do her laundry and steals my *******
mom and her friends discuss what I don't want to know about men.
Got thousands of reasons why I want new parents.
I hate my life, I hate my life!
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 7:15 AM UTC
*The most broken people live on earth.
Not even a good poet and wont pretend to be.
I fell asleep at my desk reading boring poems in school.
I failed the test on how many stanza in a poem.
Writing about broke people makes me feel good.
It's a long *** poem so read it or not read it. Word up!*
Call me white boy playing black hipster like the broken record Miley.
I can't type twerk on my keyboard but turning all ghetto on y'all.
Lady done done all she can to shock and mess with our minds.
What she gone do next, buy a house in a black hood and live there?
That's messed up and so I'm dumb and I love attention.
I live in a big town population less than sixteen thousand.
We listed on the map as a god ****** city. Word up!
I need to be a hipster and I'm going hood on y'all.
In my hood I see houses needing fixing and painting.
Got a friend who lives in a trailer park
metal piece that goes around the bottom of his trailer
fell off and his pipes froze during that weather deep freeze.
He's renting that trailer that should be condemned
like most trailers in that park but who the **** cares?
He's got a roof over his head and he should be grateful
he ain't homeless like the rest of the trailer park dwellers.
Landlords don't give a **** they care about collecting rent.
We got men and women living on internet trolling Craigslist.
Most trolling hoping to find dates are married.
Single men and women seeking sugar daddies and mommies.
They are broken people.
I walk down streets and our old and newer malls.
Same weird *** people shop at both.
I see women yelling at kids with ****** diapers that smell bad.
One used the back of her hand to wipe a snot nose
then went back to talking and texting.
Women with babies at home meeting men they met on personals.
Good place to hide when they married or got men.
Leave the babies at home with sitters or family and find new men.
Hanging out at malls is a fake.
"Meet me at my pickup in a half hour and don't wear ******
Read that message on a burner cell I found at the new mall.
It's a burner so it don't need to be returned.
Read the rest and she is married and has more than one lover
she met off personals.
Work it girl and keep the sugar daddies coming!
How many broken moms who should not be moms exist?
There are too many broken people who exist.
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 14, 2014 at 6:38 PM UTC
Mom and her friends sit and they laugh at personal ads.
They read and reply saying **** men want and like hearing.
Mom's brunette friend replied to a guy seeking a blonde.
He was a guy with pic and was 60 and a widower retired.
Stupid grey horse is a possible meal ticket mom's friend said she.
Mom and her friends laughed and kept reading personals.
Mom's friend dyed her hair platinum to be what he wanted.
Mom's changing and getting ****** and starting to act like her friends.
I don't want to be a fake *** manipulator to get men's money.
Mom I don't like you or your friends.
It's 5:27 a.m and you still on your date.
Where the hell are you mom and why aren't you answering your phone?
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 5:28 AM UTC
You knew I didn't want babies or a wife.
You poke holes in condoms what's up with that?
You got pregnant on purpose and don't know if it's mine.
I still don't want to be a dad anybody's baby daddy.
Your kid and your idea to trap a man who barely knew you.
Men and woman meeting on personals should not plan future
because we don't know each other and I never wanted kids.
Using a ****** makes you safe only if you lock it in fort knox box before using.
****** right I don't want you or that baby that might not be mine.
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 12:08 PM UTC
Hopeful maiden,
Mistress of cotillions,
Depthless, devoid of culture,
Unquestioning, incurious,
Seeks her warrior-beast-of-burden,
A man's man, a sportsman of sorts,
Yet sensitive and without ego,
A staunch provider,
Seeking beauty for its own sake,
A coy, coltish fawn, un-artful,
Un-fawning, who cannot keep a house,
Hold her tongue nor navigate
Social gatherings, one whose passion
Is only on offer, never proffered,
She seeks an old fashioned man
Who appreciates her
Mannish manner and business
Acumen— artists, musicians,
And above all penurious poets
Need not apply, I wish
To learn to cook one fashionable
Day, I am working on
Being famous, it is such
A burden being lovely,
Beautiful.
Are all the good
Men Married? Gay?
Professional athletes,
A-list actors, incarcerated
Felons wanted, perfect
Listeners needed,
Kryptonians preferred.
Jun 8, 2013
Jun 8, 2013 at 2:43 PM UTC
I steal the blanket on warm or cold nights with no regrets.
I’m a good kisser, but probably much worse in bed than
I believe. I wish you would believe in God. Stranger,
the air pressure is lower next to skyscrapers. When you leap
off, the building ***** you back and slams your body
against it. Again and again. My grandfather’s safe stands hidden,
built into an end-table at my brothers house. I have always wanted
to open it. A friend I once loved wants to swim naked with me
in three of the five great lakes. I want to take her down the west coast
on a motorcycle. If I could afford it, I would only wear underwear
made from bamboo plants. Both soft and eco-friendly. Green ones.
In 2004, I stopped talking to a girl I kissed. Second kiss. The
last time I saw her was during a fire-drill on Halloween.
She was wearing a cat-costume. Black. Please come find me.
We danced when younger. My legs swung wildly
beneath my knees. The scuffs on my shoes always remind me.
There is a photograph in my mother’s house of me flying
through the air on a skateboard. My mother was so scared
and proud in those moments. We still don’t get along.
I am not strong enough to tie my feet to science and jump.
In the moments of falling, I need God. I know I would fall
too fast to cross myself. The truth is, at the end of the night,
I am always afraid. I hold the pillow at different angles to feel better.
I make different shapes. Some nights I don’t sleep at all.
Oct 2, 2010
Oct 2, 2010 at 9:11 PM UTC
Hopeful maiden,
Mistress of cotillions,
Depthless, devoid of culture,
Unquestioning, incurious,
Seeks her warrior-beast-of-burden,
A man's man, a sportsman of sorts,
Yet sensitive and without ego,
A staunch provider,
Seeking beauty for its own sake,
A coy, coltish fawn, un-artful,
Un-fawning, who cannot keep a house,
Hold her tongue nor navigate
Social gatherings, one whose passion
Is only on offer, never proffered,
She seeks an old fashioned man
Who appreciates her
Mannish manner and business
Acumen— artists, musicians,
And above all penurious poets
Need not apply, I wish
To learn to cook one fashionable
Day, I am working on
Being famous, it is such
A burden being lovely,
Beautiful.
Are all the good
Men Married? Gay?
Professional athletes,
A-list actors, incarcerated
Felons wanted, perfect
Listeners needed,
Kryptonians preferred.
Nov 4, 2012
Nov 4, 2012 at 8:48 PM UTC
translation from russian by rolanda
E.К
I write you from ex-colonia
grounded twenty centuries ago
by romans-sounds like a symphony
for hyperborean ear, hundred time
increased distance till addressee.
Looks like Agrippa knew what she did
the sister, worth by her madness of her brother.
Further cinematograph-nude body
bent and etc..accordingly screenplay
maid lapping in marble bathtube
horns leads triumphal aria
with a long sound. On the backstage
usual complaining on the fate,
tangent glance to the east,
muscle of cease walk
the female wolf her concrete ******
snapping, moving back to the building of arsenale
lost fatten twins.
I recollect what you didnt finish to say me
closing second door on the bolt,
on same spot there is a snow, cover up Prachechnij bridge
panorama of river, filled up by ice,
something with tear through two thousand miles
or old age with saged belly.
In our age, verticals are
soaring unreachable, slipping to result
of life, just right to dress on sandals
but hardly happens to slip into toga.
Invariable law of falling drops
down, no matter- fontain, rain, ******
Harbour of postscript...rats storm the ship.
Funeral office offers moire
from spring collection for upholstery of
coffins, grief on the faces of personals,
just in time served coffee with cream
soften disaster of final account.
I write you, for what? - after victory
of foreign football team
from the closeness of prosperous summer,
connected Alps and Andes
by wave of psychose from tv,
inflicted by joy of superiority
above..(not clear what of), and their poses
of victors is sign of ugliness
from point of view of observer-
old neurasthenic and misantrope.
Contemplating fly of pterodactyl
by eye of stamped cyclop,
gilded **** on short spike of chirch
scream by voice of Luter:
"Be blessed folks cars!",
and morning flow down by sunrise on wood
by Dmitrij Poparev
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 10:27 AM UTC
Anti parents because they are hypocrites.
Mom tells me not to sleep around but she does.
Dad says I shouldn't flirt but he flirts and has cyber ***
Hey dumb parents you messed up your marriage.
You do **** I would never do and you want me to respect you.
Hey mom take the men you meet off personals and shove them up your ***
Hey dad take your evil ***** and all your facebook skanks and shove them up your ***
My messed up mind is a ******* up place and is a no hypocrite zone.
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 10:31 PM UTC
“Looking for a walking buddy”
The invitation looms as I scroll through pages of personal ads
Filled with sensitive insight, too intimate for idle voyeurs browsing.
The computer’s hypnotic glow, dousing my cheeks in pale light, coaxes me to search
To rummage through human advertisements and peruse desperate expositions
Behavior quite unlike the pastimes that others might imagine me participating in
Behavior quite unlike the nightly activities I usually partake in
Such as sleeping
Won’t I give up this useless quest for nothing in particular,
And surrender my body to the ruthless aches creeping into my muscles and joints?
I’ll wait for assurance that my grazing has meaning–
I’ll linger to assign significance to this arbitrary curiosity, even into the early morning
Eventually, I’ll resolve to the conclusion that there is somewhere an assembly of people squinting in thought, trying to justify this same bizarre inquisition
We the people, hunched over luminous monitors, “looking for something more”
We who have specific and lewd requests for the opposite ***
We nosing congregation, mysteriously drawn to the Strictly Platonic section of the personals
Should try our luck with a walking buddy
And wander away.
Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011 at 3:47 AM UTC
Not really a poem, just words saying how I'm feeling after reading daily mean spirited comments about people who want success.
If I could afford it I would gladly move today.
I'm stuck in this ****** place with people who need educations and love to criticize, are content to work low paying jobs, drink at bars, cruise personals on Craigslist every day of their lives to hook up or get into quick relationships that don't last. The Christians and non Christians are so bored with their lives they love to spend time gossiping about people who are happy. Why can't Northern Michigan be Happy for anyone or make something of their own lives so they don't have to wish bad or criticize people who are minding their own business? Why can't the women of Northern Michigan get over petty jealousy of other women and stop trashing other women on rants and raves forum? Winter is coming and I'm not looking forward to being stuck on icy roads or snowed in with nothing to do but look at white snow. I've been saving money for a year to relocate by next summer I will have the funds to move to another state where it's warm and I visited a few years ago. That place was warm and the people had lives unlike the ones in Northern Michigan. I go to their region to read posts and I've never seen a post where anyone is slamming anybody for wanting a better life or aiming for success. Northern Michigan could learn a lot from people from other places who have lives. Anyone who wants to contribute to I WANT OUT OF NORTHERN MICHIGAN NOW FUND can contribute. Praying for someone to help me find a way to leave Northern Michigan fast because living here is driving me to the brink of insanity.
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 6:16 AM UTC
My parents are messed up in the head.
I'm messed up in the head.
I wasn't born this was they made me this way.
Yesterday mom took a long nap woke up then went out.
She went out with another man she found trolling personals.
Mom and her friends don't just answer personals.
Mom and her friends create ads to meet men using words men like.
Mom and her friends say they can't get a man if they lose their girly figures.
Dad's body is flabby with man ***** facebook his women on facebook
could give a **** about looks because dad has a big fat at bank account.
Love of money my mom's friends say makes gross men hot.
Mom's getting laid nightly to prove she can still get laid.
Mom *** ain't love *** is *** that's what dad and his friends say.
Dad you broke mom's heart and now she's messed up in the head.
Dad's evil ***** is near my age but when she gets saggy **** and wrinkles
dad will leave her like he left mom for another evil ***** off facebook.
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 5:09 AM UTC
Dear Mr. President,
I don't care about Obamacare that is a ******* up mess.
I don't care about foreign policy or why there are dumb wars.
I want you to fix my life and give me new parents.
My parents are the worst two in the entire galaxy and they need fixing.
I don't have the right tools to fix their messed up lives.
Mom dates men off personals on many sites and sleeps with every one of them.
Dad cheated on mom and left her because she got a few wrinkles on her face.
Mom went nuts and has to prove she's young and can get laid every night.
Dad lives with evil ***** who gave me a sibling I had no idea I had.
Dad's ***** lives for his money in the bank account that was mom and his.
Dad and mom text sext and cyber and write mmmmm a lot.
Mr. President could you please fix my life and my dumb parents?
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 10:42 PM UTC
Hopeful maiden,
Mistress of cotillions,
Depthless, devoid of culture,
Unquestioning, incurious,
Seeks her warrior-beast-of-burden,
A man's man, a sportsman of sorts,
Yet sensitive and without ego,
A staunch provider,
Seeking beauty for its own sake,
A coy, coltish fawn, un-artful,
Un-fawning, who cannot keep a house,
Hold her tongue nor navigate
Social gatherings, one whose passion
Is only on offer, never proffered,
She seeks an old fashioned man
Who appreciates her
Mannish manner and business
Acumen— artists, musicians,
And above all penurious poets
Need not apply, I wish
To learn to cook one fashionable
Day, I am working on
Being famous, it is such
A burden being lovely,
Beautiful.
Are all the good
Men Married? Gay?
Professional athletes,
A-list actors, incarcerated
Felons wanted, perfect
Listeners needed,
Kryptonians preferred.
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 1:29 PM UTC
Hope you don't mind I showed my mom what you posted.
I thought hard about what you posted in your poem.
Mom came home and told her not to nap I needed to talk.
She said "Can't it wait I need my beauty sleep?'
Said no I need to talk to you or I might get pregnant.
That got her attention she looked at my belly real close.
Showed my poems but did not log in don't want her deleting.
she was screaming "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU POSTING THAT?"
She finally quit screaming and read what you said then all my poems.
Screams all over the freaking house and more yelling in my face.
She did what she don't like to do TALK TO ME!!!!
None of her dumb notes today just told me to sit down then called dad.
He was ****** at how I posted about his
facebook and about his *****
Yelling and screaming at me then mom
stopped shouting then dad.
Mom demanded I log in and delete but I refused.
Told them it was how a stranger was the
only one who made sense.
Mom was ****** at a strange woman giving me advice.
Dad got ****** then and told her if she was home
more it would not happen.
More yelling from mom at dad this time.
Big surprise he defended me the daughter he
said wasn't worth a ******
Mom cooled down and they read my poems.
Dad wanted to know if I did it with him for real.
Told him truth.
He was steamed but shut it for once in his life.
We spent hours talking i mean really
talking and they are still at it.
I was dismissed by my parents with a
promise from my parents
if I don't write about what they do in real life they
would try to be better at communicating with me.
Mom promised no more answering personals and
no over night dates until I go off to college.
Dad promised to make me feel like I was his daughter.
I can't stand his ***** but she's in my life until dad kicks her out.
Net wedding's off all he wanted to do was get in my virtual pants.
Thanks to you might be a merry x-mas to me.
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013 at 5:14 PM UTC
Hopeful maiden,
Mistress of cotillions,
Depthless, devoid of culture,
Unquestioning, incurious,
Seeks her warrior-beast-of-burden,
A man's man, a sportsman of sorts,
Yet sensitive and without ego,
A staunch provider,
Seeking beauty for its own sake,
A coy, coltish fawn, un-artful,
Un-fawning, who cannot keep a house,
Hold her tongue nor navigate
Social gatherings, one whose passion
Is only on offer, never proffered,
She seeks an old fashioned man
Who appreciates her
Mannish manner and business
Acumen— artists, musicians,
And above all penurious poets
Need not apply, I wish
To learn to cook one fashionable
Day, I am working on
Being famous, it is such
A burden being lovely,
Beautiful.
Are all the good
Men Married? Gay?
Professional athletes,
A-list actors, incarcerated
Felons wanted, perfect
Listeners needed,
Kryptonians preferred.
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 2:18 PM UTC
Growing up
Innocence going down
all to show
a **** frown
Act your age they say
what is age
age redefined on a page
on 'age'
twelve years old and suicidal
sixteen years young
Thinking you're ready to be bridal
walking the halls
Hoping not to fall
from your popularity
popularity-thrown
needing clarity
You expect our charity?
Ha, girls like me are a rarity
check yourself
before you wreck yourself
clichéd isn't it
****
trollop?
Name it
it fits
*****
I can't take it anymore
You're fourteen
and you've seen
things
Things I can't even dream
all you want to do is scream?
Don't kid
you broadcast your personals
to the halls
from wall to other walls
superficial
artificial
Not even beneficial
get real
learn how to deal
and stop trying to change
the range
of age
Jan 3, 2013
Jan 3, 2013 at 9:28 PM UTC
**No values of human life but more values of currency and gold,
No values of old cultures but more vaues of modern cultures,
No values of old ethics but more values of kitty parties and pub parties,
No values of marriage but more values of live in relationships,
No values of love and faith but more values of betrayal and hatreness,
No values of truth but more values of making other fool ,
No values of binding relationship but more vaues of separating relationship.
No values of humanity but more values of individual personal,
No values of poor and medium locality but more values of VIP,VVIP personals.
Very sad feelings of inequality created by humans towards humans.
Lost the World, Universe and Lost everything.**
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 3:13 PM UTC
I'm 18 barely legal. I don't get why parents control you.
Only way to be is not tell them anything or they scold you.
Tell them your friends spread rumors at school and it's all saying ****
that makes you know they're clueless about everything!
I'm giving it up on the net to a guy I met through personals
just like my mom meets all her perverted men she dates.
You left at 7 p.m yesterday mom. It's 7 a.m so where the hell are you?.
Dad's as bad. He still *** chats with all his women friends on Facebook.
His evil ***** is getting pretty ****** fat from eating imported chocolates.
She thinks she's got it made in the shade with my sibling I never knew
about until I saw a birth announcement on the internet.
The internet has ****** up my life and my family.
No more believing in real marriage for me.
I'll give gaiaonline marriage a go and see if it makes me happy.
I'll read what dad types and likes in his chat logs and
read what drives guys to ******* from reading mom's mmm log.
Net ruined my family but maybe I can be happy married on the net.
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013 at 7:06 AM UTC
Personals:
Single Man Interested in Women: Looking for love.
Single Woman Interested in Men: Looking for love.
Single Man Interested in Men: Looking for love.
Single Woman Interested in Women: Looking for love.
Single God Interested in Humans: Looking for them to love and be loved.
_________________________________________________________
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013 at 7:19 AM UTC
Sorry Mr Jolly, I don't think your quite that frail
I offered my assistance, but now I'll have to bail
Your requirements are beyond me, a wash from top to tail !
My qualifications do not extend, to care for an older male
Who normally does your personals, why can't you get a bath ?
Official carers they just leave, and you can't get the staff
Does Mr Jolly scare them off, before they grace his path
Or maybe your too vulnerable, when you expose your bottom half ?
Sorry Mr Jolly, if your really all that smelly
I wouldn't be that comfortable, if I just washed your belly
Regardless of all other things, I'll stay home with the telly
And I'll see you in Psychoville, alongside Mr Jelly
Community spirit's one thing, but I'm afraid it must be trashed
Those parts of old men's body's, in my presence should be stashed
Mr Jolly I am sorry, if your washing dreams are dashed
I didn't really fancy, any part where I get splashed
Sorry Mr Jolly, can I give you a small tip
Emergency numbers aren't for you, to have a bath or strip
Scrub ups are not possible, and a shaving I must skip
Hygienic services I can't provide, cos I'm not well equip
Who said that I'd do anything, I think their just a wally
Old mens plonkers can't be handled, by a young blonde dolly
I wouldn't even try it, covered with an open brolly
What your asking I can't do, I'm Sorry Mr Jolly
Jan 26, 2020
Jan 26, 2020 at 4:45 AM UTC
No values of human life but more values of currency and gold,
No values of old cultures but more vaues of modern cultures,
No values of old ethics but more values of kitty parties and pub parties,
No values of marriage but more values of live in relationships,
No values of love and faith but more values of betrayal and hatreness,
No values of truth but more values of making other fool ,
No values of binding relationship but more vaues of separating relationship.
No values of humanity but more values of individual personal,
No values of poor and medium locality but more values of VIP,VVIP personals.
Very sad feelings of inequality created by humans towards humans.
Lost the World, Universe and Lost everything.
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 11, 2015 at 4:01 PM UTC
If you've lost someone,
Check out the Personals.
Keep your eyes to the ground;
Only tourists look around,
There we'll find the jetsom
Of someone's empty pocket.
A book of Vegas matches
With the middle ones missing;
Neither left or right-handed.
You'll not be found.
There are tissues,
Stained with mascara,
Lying
Beside beads from a broken necklace
That gilded your skin.
You'll not be found.
Blowing across the path
Are shreds of paper
From the note she wrote,
Swirling towards the river.
Chase them to the bank,
Watch them float
Towards the falls.
The meaning is smeared, blurred
Then lost.
This is what finds me out.
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 9:55 AM UTC