you came home, the other day
blessed, with a boon
from a friend's market garden.
the first
strawberries,
of the season

sweet little ruby jewels,
kissed by the sun

how we feasted,
we selfish two
popping those lovlies
past pursed lips,
to crush the flesh
between the tongue
and teeth
letting the juice
run..
down..
the back..
of our throats.
grinding the seeds, macerating the flesh
in a ****
of ****-sweetness
and
afterwards
we
kissed,
nibbled,
and ******,
the last taste
from each other's
lips, chins, fingertips.

...and that led ...
                       to other..
                       ...un-writable..
                                              fun.

Do you lie ,
Awake late at night ,
And exacerbate.?
On future events
Diving in diverse deepths
In relationshipwrecks,
Toxic introspect.....
macerating in
Worst case scenarios?
obsessing on Exaggerated
Outcomes ....
Fill the rig with
Painfull emotions
Bang it straight in neck
Living in the effect of
What you've done.......
These vivid pangs of hurt
Never come to fruition yet you allow them to diminish
Self worth as if they  are a reflection  of you .

Feelings in this sensation
Give you a false feeling this makes you a better person
It cannot ..
You can never convince anyone how you feel .

Only deal in the real
It works out better this way
Trust me!





Keep yourself in check

Macerating in an addictive lifestyle,
Low key, complacent.......
At least appear to be,
Meanwhile
proverbial metaphorical analogy
The epic  inner turmoil
A gurgling cauldron of turbid water laced with ecstacy,
tupac,poprocks
ipecac, and Deepak chopra on **** amphetamine,,,,
I'm in a padded room a straight jacket
A handful of Vaseline,
And the walls are covered with *******
This makes my feel bad
MMMMMMMMMMM-KAAaaayy!
My.. psyche........ c.r..a...c....king
½- time skrrrrrrt....
K WAIT!
Psychiatrist please.....,..
No WAIT WAIT WAIT!
That's me ........
Psychologist please.......
Ya no.......no I know I KNOW!!!!!
What is it?
????
Ok ok ok gulp............
Oh .>......,huh!.....
Ok that's better
In retrospect I suppose I could either
Exccaserbate or exfoliate and extrapolate
That these things and occurrences in which
I am not only forced to pause
But also
I'm givin cause to say........
I knew this was going to happen!!!!!
Is not clairvoyance or esp.
It's the innate ability to see I have limited control of these things
.......
Meaning I can choose whether not to cause them ,
At epicenter ,,,,,
And controll impact and reaction in the second wave,
Rarely third wave and nothing beyond to infinity
And it's after the fourth wave when
actions ,deeds,and words heard
Get filled and covered in embellishments
Picked up and slung by our enemies,
Become festering lesions on our character
For everyone but us to see.......
.......
..
Everybody's gota be so **** polite
Nobody says a **** thing........
Well not to you......
Not face to face.
No no no,,,
Not these days .....
Behind your back?
Oh they just can't wait?
Then they're all about it
Taking **** rumor mongers
Backbiting chiding frenemies
Slinging mud day and night!

Scorned lovers ,
Over the years ,
I have to say  
I loved so,
Unbelievably
Many!
Mourning to morning,
Scars slowly Transforming
Under covers tears saturate
my pillows.
For I know why I lay  
Alone and lonely.
Delaminating
In acidic disbelief for a brief time
I allowed grief to ****** me.
Macerating in
My own toxic concoction.
Breaker of my own rules
..............I
Let myself go.....
And became a ******.  
0k maybe I should translate that
I was intimate with women for money.
Let me say one thing.
Some things  are better left as an fantasy....
This is one of those things. Unless I guess
I was magic mike or the rock or something.
Don't get me wrong  
Im gifted ....
.......
It just wasn't a good location
In it for the wrong reason,
Numb,
Dumb,
Shut down emotionally.
So my clientele were an eclectic mix of damaged tricks,
A few ,