Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Ann Williams Ms Apr 2017
He’s got a bagel on his head,
Not a Cornish Pastie, nor a slice of bread;

Not a Singin’ Hinny, nor a Bacon Roll,
Not Bedfordshire Clanger nor Toad-in-the-Hole;

Black Buns from Scotland pass him by,
No Jammy Rascals, nor Stargazy Pie;

No Bakewell Tarts, and no Teisen Lap,
No Apple Dumplings adorn his cap;

No scones from Devon spread with cream and jam;
Just a crispy bagel full of cheese and ham.

Bagels are the coolest, bagels are the best:
Up with the bagels and down with the rest.
Onwards and upwards, long may it be said:
He’s got a bagel on his head.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/feb/27/fight-on-uk-train-after-people-kept-placing-bagels-on-travellers-heads

And they sang: He’s got a bagel on his head.
Ann Williams Ms Apr 2017
He’s got a bagel on his head (February 28 2017).
He’s got a bagel on his head,
Not a Cornish Pastie, nor a slice of bread;

Not a Singin’ Hinny, nor a Bacon Roll,
Not Bedfordshire Clanger nor Toad-in-the-Hole;

Black Buns from Scotland pass him by,
No Jammy Rascals, nor Stargazy Pie;

No Bakewell Tarts, and no Teisen Lap,
No Apple Dumplings adorn his cap;

No scones from Devon spread with cream and jam;
Just a crispy bagel full of cheese and ham.

Bagels are the coolest, bagels are the best:
Up with the bagels and down with the rest.
Onwards and upwards, long may it be said:
He’s got a bagel on his head.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/feb/27/fight-on-uk-train-after-people-kept-placing-bagels-on-travellers-heads

And they sang: He’s got a bagel on his head.
Ann Williams Ms Apr 2017
He’s got a bagel on his head (February 28 2017).
He’s got a bagel on his head,
Not a Cornish Pastie, nor a slice of bread;

Not a Singin’ Hinny, nor a Bacon Roll,
Not Bedfordshire Clanger nor Toad-in-the-Hole;

Black Buns from Scotland pass him by,
No Jammy Rascals, nor Stargazy Pie;

No Bakewell Tarts, and no Teisen Lap,
No Apple Dumplings adorn his cap;

No scones from Devon spread with cream and jam;
Just a crispy bagel full of cheese and ham.

Bagels are the coolest, bagels are the best:
Up with the bagels and down with the rest.
Onwards and upwards, long may it be said:
He’s got a bagel on his head.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/feb/27/fight-on-uk-train-after-people-kept-placing-bagels-on-travellers-heads

And they sang: He’s got a bagel on his head.
am i ee Sep 2015
"it’s time to go
to bed NOW,
right NOW
right this second,
or you are going to get a spanking."

bubbling up with
happy glee
the stumpy little
legs ran
and danced
around
ignorning this stern
sound booming,
this stern
sound looming.

"get upstairs,
NOW,
get into bed,
i’ll be up
in a minute,
to give you
that spanking."

Uh oh!
her fat little
squishy three-year-old
legs
carried her up
as she ran up
the stairs.

heart beating
fast with fear
of impending doom.

coming into the room
she looked about
desperately,
spying a book,
into her bed
she took.

shoving that book
inside her jammy
bottoms,
and covered her bare
little ***
but,
good.

lying there waiting,
with
layers of
help
so thickly,
so comfortingly,
spread in between,
that big hand,
and her little ***
filled with dread.

The little one,
so happy
just moments ago,
not so happy
now,
just lying there
waiting.
filling with
looming fear.


oh what a life,
an eternal seesaw
of happy and sad
mad and glee.

book and
pajama bottoms,
sheet,
and blanket.

he’ll never see,
that book that’s,
a covering me.

waiting with dread,
the minutes ticking
in the dark,
ever so slowly,
an  eternity.

the huge giant
finally came up,
big shoes,
booming each
step of the way.

he
gave a good swat,
then out
he went,
closing the door,
shaking a finger
and saying,
“i don’t want to hear any more."

giggled
did she,
and thougth to
herself,
i didn’t even
feel that
and he didn’t,
even know.

hee hee hee..

pulling that book
away from her
be-hinny,
she stretched
out on her back
so comfortably,
so calmly,
and very
peacefully.

so happy
was she,
with her,
Oh So Smart
3-year-old
little self.
Karijinbba Jun 2019
Start:
~~~
When a woman
answered
your home phone
your technique
for igniting in me
jealousy worked
just not as you
had expected it
your methods
were not
understood
but it hurt me
very deeply

naive lonely teen
left behind as I was
later on time machine
looped us up again
Single Mom struggling
your loot still buried
where you hid it aged
39 barely surviving
your joy and happiness
still my duty above
and beyond my own
happily ever after!

if you'd known what
war some fiery fields
of malice jealousy
and greed had
shaped inactions
to later be trapped
deceived almost
claiming my life n
my little children's

that jealousy further
had taken the life
of little loved ones
in my childhood years

if you'd only known
how jealousy malice
greed of bad people
had bled me
tormenting
my existence how
all that tinted my
ability to show
my innermost
feelings
you would've used
another method
less bizarre
to force me
exasperated
to disclose
my terrifying
deathly secrets
of torture and sadomy by
those who were supposed
to protect me but used me fir being naive alone looking rich
being broke robbed left and right.
avoiding
the sharing
of such pain
was loving you!

had I seen in my finger
your gold wedding
ring with your
name in it and or
a diamond
heart ring promised
with your heart
and my tears in it
instead of
just all written
i would've
understood
to show you
my innermost
caring loving
feelings timely love.

if you had
understood me
you wouldn't have
lost me
nailing me to that cross
digging knifes to see where
I squiled louder
and all you wanted to hear
was that I loved you to stop?
What kind if beast
dud you think I was?
And I called you home.
I would've grabbed
her greedy bone fish
hinny out!
our bedroom
window!
and beauty rest
cursed
in an eyeblink!

how foolish of you
to not perceive
I loved you
more then I
loved myself
enough to let you
go even to
another woman!

How sad not to
have perceived
that something
horrible had
happened to me
your twin
flame soul that
amnesia was an
involuntary
defence
mechanism
blocking
traumatic past
events
rooted from mis
communication
naiveness loneliness
and not by any lack
of heart or feelings
nor inability to feel
hurt and pain

I am born a pristine
feeling empathetic
deeply feeling
beautiful in-n-out
caring woman
so now you know.

what you wrote
long ago
what others
would be
to us both when
we married
living
"happily
ever after"

it hurts to be
dead calm
misunderstood
(PcRk)
and just a
"distant and
faint memory!!
End.
~~~~~
By: Karijimbba
All Rights reserved
revised 06/13/19
Iwhat hurts the most of my past was in action followed by silence and both were my only safety net growing up.
I suffered but not all of us who suffer make other suffer sometimes we just don't have any choice.
causing percussive rumpus
to vibrate like jelly

Me experienced quite disruptive sleep
(quite early in the morning
of November 10th 2022 -
no shut eye could I keep),
hence though exhausted, I share
childlike trait of mine spouse
insufferable playfulness finds me
ready to collapse in a heap.

Missus as inquisitor a worse
fate than death expounded courtesy
the following cheeky verse
about bearing derrière perverse
antic for wife to adopt role of nurse
Ratched she of (One flew over
the cuckoo's nest fame)
the missus every smack
upon me posterior I did curse,
thus poem not for the faint of heart
some or all of material you may find averse.

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
beating, drumming, flagellating
paddling, and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed tubular *****
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking

undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest

against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything

(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye

lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom

(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, mutilated, lacerated,
fondled and bruised.
sandra wyllie Aug 2019
Can we go outside for
this session? In his back yard
he had a swing-set for his daughter. I
climbed up the ladder with him

behind me. I’m sure he was
checking out my hinny. We sat in
the wooden covered area, the entrance to
the slide. It was a sunny, warm autumn

day outside. It was a very small
two by four wooden floor. We sat very
close together. He mentioned the rash on
my leg. I told him it was from shaving

every day. Not much else
was said. I was too enthralled by his smile
and all the closeness we consumed
emotionally and physically that afternoon.
causing percussive rumpus

Meanwhile good n plenty vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking

undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest

against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything

(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye

lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom

(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, lacerated, and bruised.
yesterday August 30th, 2022.

The following fictitious account
predicated upon words spilling
out me mouth before taking time
to think through how sarcastic remark
would affect primary listener.

Comments about marital matters
particularly ours (yours truly and wife)
uttered in earshot of the missus
in company of a fellow resident
who befriended us;
hours later, she gave me
a severe dressing down
in tandem with threatening
smacking mine gluteus maximus
(ultimatum never carried out)
viz yule eyes zing painful spanking
for uttering (even in jest)
unseemly unreasonable remark.

As iterated above,
she gave me a verbal lashing
unfurling unpleasant feedback
accompanied courtesy expressing
whooping ***** of her spouse,
which turned out as idle threat,
nevertheless verbalized black barbs
vicariously pounded mine posterior...
courtesy forced punishment
qua virtual reality
zealously, viciously, quickly...
causing actual percussive rumpus.

Meanwhile vibrations resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive,
but woody d'ya believe
drumming, and whipping hindquarters
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed dormant pecker
(no fallacy - property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy counterpart,
she ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking
undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, humiliating, beating
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
formerly cute palm pilot buttocks,

now subjected simulated
heavy handed wallops
upon derrière, which cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest
against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
grammarian lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee figurative ball and chain
ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything
(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
felt comfortably numb.

Even a** hide from aforementioned scenario
the aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arose, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye
lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom
(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily bruised.
December 27th, 2023,
the missus pounded mine posterior
(she played paddywhack
on me blimey buttucks)
not only causing contusion,
but flaying percussive rumpus,
where the wild things are
found yours truly feeling
like a cross between a bongo drum
and a Ubangi
(also spelled Ubangui, Ubanghi, or Oubangui).

Meanwhile good n plenty
good vibrations
(cue the Beach Boys) resonated
felt and heard round the world wide web
(strongest quaking sensations
occurred upon double mattresses atop bed
within apartment unit b44
2 Highland Manor Drive),

but woody d'ya believe
drumming, flagellating
and whipping gluteus maximus
spurred surging aftershock tremors
launched rocketed pecker
(property yours truly).

Imagine slap happy spouse
ain't misbehavin
just being her playful
(think cheeky) self
knick knack paddy whacking
give doggone husband reprieve
undeservedly thrashing,
pummeling, beating fleshy derrière
the living daylights
buttucks long past their prime
once formerly cute palm pilot size *****,

now subjected courtesy
cruel aging process
wrought ugly human cellulite,
nevertheless I made
feeble attempts to rear up in protest
against asinine wifely antics,
while she obviously disregarded
feebly wailing for nought
me lamely uttering
friggin ****** ****** in vain.

Zee spouse ain't no sadomasochist,
she just thrills
treating gluteus maximus (mine)
as a plaything
(think cat toying with mouse)
thwacking me fleshy behind
until derriere belonging to yours truly
feels comfortably numb.

Thee aforementioned shenanigans
predominantly arise, when
wedded counterpart owns advantage,
whereby I eagerly welcome shut eye
lo and behold only to experience
mine hinny quickly getting smacked
after I barely shuttered these tired eyelids
sneaking couple winks.

What recently began as
whimsical spur of
kickstarting moment
ushering tactile kibitizing
suddenly became nightly ritual,
whereby this humble husband
meekly surrenders bare bottom
(actually partner with skewed enjoyment
at my expense)
pulls off outer clothes
plus underpants (elasticity
long since stretched out)
wallopping me ***
until flesh heavily
spindled, lacerated, and bruised.

After swatting *****
until backside a deep angry red,
she (the bride of
twenty seven and a half years)
turns me over and spanks the monkey.

— The End —