"headbutt" poems
Goats and skinheads try to boast
they say they do it more than most!
Musk ox have a mighty try
Bang! A crash to split the sky.
Alpine sheep, buffalos too
all decry "the rest are poo!"
But they see stars around their nut
when they receive a Dragon ****
No run up or deep breath required
**** all day long , they're never tired.
Oh how the jealous ones desire
a headbutt fuelled with dragon fire!
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011 at 4:13 PM UTC
Bill always had a problem
He was just a little off
When most kids caught a cold at school
Bill, he caught a cough
He always talked out loud without
raising up his hand
He was disruptive in the library
And so, poor Bill was banned
He sang the national anthem
to the tune of "The Old Gray Mare"
and he always challenged people
by making each request "a dare"
Bill was not quite normal
He was an enigma to us all
when the kids would all play baseball
Bill would go headbutt the ball
But, Bill he was quite special
Even though he's an odd duck
Bill was full of knowledge
When the topic turned to trucks
The kids all wrote an essay
About their favorite state
But, Bill confused the teacher
By writing, "F150s...they are great"
Sep 29, 2012
Sep 29, 2012 at 8:56 PM UTC
Right now, I want to
headbutt you in the wiener,
smile, and walk away.
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 10:01 PM UTC
.
".Keep calm, smile and
then headbutt them."
~ Sensei ...
May 29, 2016
May 29, 2016 at 3:45 PM UTC
It came as a suckerpuch,
nearly knocked me off my feet,
now my world is falling apart,
I'm barely strong enough to eat.
People have crushed my dreams one by one,
I cherished the love we once had,
But now it's gone.
Sep 5, 2010
Sep 5, 2010 at 3:57 AM UTC
It was in my mother’s father’s final days when Beckham curled it in against Greece
It should have been wrapped up months or at least minutes prior
But for the English
Football is a beautiful form of torture
Some relief in the dark and painful last of his days
It may sound dramatic from the outside
But from the inside
When you’re in on the secret
Football has always been the beautiful game for a reason
And fate was sealed that day
The infamous Zidane headbutt
It came at a time when I was realising people aren’t perfect and heroes are human
For me, not a disgrace, but a lesson
The world’s greatest are also flawed
Lampard 2010 World Cup
It was over the line
I know it
You know it
But the greatest journeys all have their ups and downs
Their misfortunes and their injustices
Our time is nigh
It’s coming home
The psychopathic work ethic of Ronaldo
The glue on the boots of Messi
The precision of the Pirlo pass
The ‘Why always me?’
The ‘You’ll never walk alone’
The wins, the losses
The joy, the heartbreak
The frustration of supporting a yo-yo that never goes all the way up
An ode to my forever unmentioned Plymouth Argyle
The screamers, the blunders
From Thierry to Titus Bramble
Alonso to Okocha
The once-club-record-signing whose name now evades you
The heroes, the villains
The naive dream that maybe one day you’ll make it
And the hope that maybe this will be our year
The diving, the referees, the relegations, the failure
The 4-0 thrashings by the rivals, the penalties and quarter finals
I don’t know why I do it to myself
But I know that I wouldn’t have it any other way
This is the beautiful game
This is football
Sep 2, 2020
Sep 2, 2020 at 8:45 AM UTC
Punch
Kick
Body shot
Headbutt
Elbow
Knee
Slap
Pinch
Hair pull
Fly kick
Drop kick
****** nose
Awkward silence
Depart.
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 4:25 PM UTC
"It's not me!" she broke in, hands still shaking,
heart still trying to headbutt through her rib-cage.
"SHUT UP! I don't know you!", she screamed at the wall of her bedroom,
panting.
Making memories right then and there.
Born like stars in the darkness.
Dreams that let loose into the silence of the real world like breaking through glass.
Dreams to make the grown men weep in panic.
Dreams to drink an extra cup of coffee for,
on your way to work.
Feb 14, 2014
Feb 14, 2014 at 9:37 PM UTC
Headbutt a field of daffodils.
Uppercut a pair of shears.
Fall asleep on railroad tracks.
Throw a wrench into your gears.
Kick a chainsaw in the teeth.
Do a backflip into quicksand.
Take a bath in sleet.
Eat your own hand.
Sleep in a bed of cement.
Bash your head on concrete.
Throw yourself into a volcano.
Cook your own meat.
Swim in a tsunami.
Surf a typhoon.
Drown yourself in madness,
but please just do it soon.
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 4:10 AM UTC
"Well hey there! How was your New Year's?"
Well, I sang a song and made a toast
To the fire in our hearts
I apologized to the host
For drinking and driving the last time I'd left
When I'm drunk I like to think that I know better than the best
I lit off fireworks with a pretty girl
We listened to James Brown while gunpowder spiders lit up the world
We took alot of shots
And sat by the fire
We talked of this, that, and the other
Later on I found my friend with his head in his hands
Crouched up against his car; crying over the dead
Lamenting that they couldn't be here for this event
And I cried a little too, because that kind of thing messes with my head
My childhood friend was also there
He had driven in from out-of-town
He was tripping on acid, and had me pinned to the ground
In an insane attempt to give me some sort of comfort
I finally got him off me with an effective headbutt
Then I ran down the street
While yelling, "I HATE EVERYTHING!"
Then slowed down to a walk after I'd gotten far enough
Smoked a cigarette and contemplated the true nature of love
So when you ask me that seemingly innocuous question
"Hey, how was your New Years? Did anything happen?"
All I can say is,
"Well, ha! It was definitely something!"
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014 at 2:40 AM UTC
they are to never find a path, akin to our,
an insomnia of the sun,
they are to be forever quasi-Eskimo
blonde...
but the English are *******
prunes in that department... ******* prunes!
hawk-nosed liars!
pop and the great escape
of anger...
sheer me custard-skinned
and i'll do the tøtengruß salute...
Stasi... right to poach the "free" people,
simply meaning: the impolite people...
i too wish thing were different,
and we could summarise over tea and biscuits...
but some people have never experienced
the notion of the flux, or: change...
they're still strapped to the Mary Poppins
of imagining things...
had i a son or daughter, i'd never have either...
because i wish i had wanted either...
but never care to churn a cherishing of as said:
totalitarian memorisation in me overtook
thinking, i simply stopped thinking,
memory demoniac took over:
the renegade in a Swedish village was never to be,
the internet gave the public a moral compass,
and moral superiority, meaning
that artists had to agree to a public moral
consensus, or write no art at all...
ending in? piss-poor art, or no art at all:
hence, the applause... well done;
well done. you've just invented a ****** communism
that suffocates everyone... well done...
speaking as someone who's ancestors experienced it
first-hand with the Mongolians... no!
there isn't an advert involved! you ****** up!
you little ****** crazy squatting at university
born at 5 a.m. thinking is going into the bin!
that's where it belongs... ******
i have to ways of saying tøtengruß... you,
i presume, have only one...
just you watch me mark you idiotic by a
non-existent plebiscite...
is it alright? first of all you'll soak me in honey,
then walk me into the desert, then the bees will
come... then you'll disperse...
as you have already... then you'll start to think:
who's y neighbour? should i ask him
for a spare cup of sugar?
then the neighbour will reply you:
that idiot is blasting music at 11 a.m. and
it's disrupting my sleep! lock him up!
and then you'll go among the throng and think
nothing, and comply, and just, shut, up;
like you were meant to.
Sep 2, 2016
Sep 2, 2016 at 10:24 PM UTC
If this is what it takes to still be yours, then
no
more
kisses.
I'll headbutt you in public.
Brace yourself.
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 11:41 AM UTC
outrageous, in that i'd also take
my glasses off... and want to punch you?
outrageous as in: you gonna become
a fisherman, little man? or are you just
gonna don the tailor slick and host a
talk show that might get you punched in the face?
oh please forgive me... that might get
you a headbutt? do these drunks require
some second layer of braille?!
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 6:55 PM UTC
Let's see who's got
the
lightest fingers
who can get them in
the tightest places?
Faces?
I've had enough of them,
unqualified kids who
like to think they are men
and men
who are still in puberty
aged forty three!
who sold it though
to the highest bidder?
I've got rid of a life waiting for this,
the 'Glasgow kiss'
the 'Johnny Kwango' headbutt
the one fall, submit or die,
Billy Two Rivers
sending shivers like ripples
that made my ******* *****
Oops, suspect what you want, but
live a lie with one hand tied
behind your back
and you become
a one armed man.
too obvious?
try this,
or
**** orf
if ya don't like it.
Row mania.
someone stole the light at
the end of the tunnel and
pickled it with red cabbage,
the salad option,
I have no opinion
you don't pay me for those
you can't afford me anyway.
we will wait and see
unless time plays
the joker.
I'm in the red corner
( politically stressed)
clinically depressed
messed up
cussed out
and all this for enough
snout to take a break
and have a smoke
but
it's all ******** and
we all know it
the problem is,
when they tell you
it ain't **** you're shovelling
and you believe it.
Jul 14, 2017
Jul 14, 2017 at 4:45 AM UTC