Look at yourself
Lauren.
Look what you have done.
Look how far you've
fallen.
Look how far you've
come.

Look at yourself
Lauren.
Tell them what you see.
A woman so strong now
broken.
A girl so independent now
weak.

LOOK AT YOURSELF
Lauren.
Don't act like you're fine.
With the way you are
slipping,
you can't afford to
lie.

Look at Dean
Lauren.
Look at Lillian too.
They never got a
chance,
but that's not because
of you.

Look inside you
Lauren.
Look at your heart.
You would of loved
them.
But you weren't ready
to start.

Look at yourself
Lauren.
You are so strong.
He said what he
said,
but you know that he's
wrong.

You love him
Lauren.
That won't go away.
And if he comes
back.
Can you face what you'd
say?

Tell the truth
Lauren.
Yes, you were crushed.
And to forgive him might
be weak.
But I guesss that's just
love.

Look at yourself.

oh well
guesss i'll see you
in hell....

You yell and you fuss
Whether I do a lot or even if I'm not doing much
Before, I talked a good game
But I didn’t want anything to do with you
And I don’t know if this is true
But part of me felt like we were on the same page
Crisis attacks
And now we are forced to face the facts
You didn’t know me and you never did
No longer am I your sweet and innocent little kid
I'm sure you went back
To that place in your heart
And thought that I was playing you
Right from the start
That “Can you be my daddy???” bit
Whatcha think? Let me guesss
‘That was all a bunch of *******’
Truth is, that was all legit
I mean seriously, do you really think I could’ve made up a lie like that so quick?
I meant it from the bottom of my heart
Believe it or not
When I met you, we formed a bond
That no one could tear apart
Now I'm trying to build something for real
And all you think is
‘Girl, I know this crap ain’t real!’
I'm trying to but you don’t give me the time of day
I have to seek you out
Because most times, you don’t even look my way
Why do I always have to be the one to say,
“Hey dad!! How was your day?”
Why do you always give me the same crazy behind face?
Like ****! I don’t want anything!!
Can’t I just ask if you’re okay?
I'm not asking for you to be my friend
I just want us to have a good relationship
Before our lives come to an end
Daddy I love you
And that’s real talk!
Pure TRUTH!!
I'm not who I used to be
And you would know that if you really just talk to me
I'm changing every day
But you don’t see it
Because you’re constantly ignoring me, right in my face
I'm not trying to bash you
I'm just telling it like it is
Give me a second chance
That’s all I ask
Yeah I ******* up
But if the only way that we can have a relationship
Is if I literally kiss your ***,
You can forget it, I’ll pass
I love you way too much
To leave stuff jacked up between us
I'm begging and pleading for you to stop and hear me out
I had to find to get all this out
Without me trying to scream and
Having to hear you shout
I'm not trying to bash you
I’m just telling it like it is
You’ve always wanted the truth
So that’s what I just gave you
Don’t get upset….
I'm just giving you the biz

I think one thing I'm going to have to learn is that if someone doesn't like me... I should just not give that energy anymore.

I keep reaching out to people who don't reach out to me and wonder why I can't help them... why I can't feel like a good friend.

I'm not meant for everyone, and not everyone is meant for me.

Why would I watch while they showcase their pain yet shun me for trying to connect with my understanding.

I'm withdrawing self and advice.

I want to observe more.

Let's see what happens next.

I can't wait to feel more welcome, but that sometimes means that I have to stay in good spaces, to protect my energies, to not keep searching, keep reaching, keep puting vibe where it's not welcome.

That's really, really okay.

The only way to find out where you belong is to see what feels good and put the love back into those that love you.

I keep forgetting it's not the soak but the gush.

It's not the next destination. It's not the things to be done tomorrow. It's the right here, the right now, the what shows up and what makes you proud.

I love my good friends, the ones that show, the ones that know, the ones that can take a good blow.

It's never the critic who stands on the sidelines ripping apart the one in the arena who is already battling fiercely...

The show has always been on, and you're not being watched by me... you're being watched by yourself... good luck to you.

"Hell is meeting the person you could have been at the end of your life...."

I'm trying to live a heavenly life, by appreciating my suffering and being with the little girl that hid in a closet... she always needed a friend. I can be her friend. <3

Blossom Blossom
Spring is Dawn
Blossom, petals open my palm
went too deep, In for too long
the image fades and then shifts
fizzing And purpling smoke
boils Over the edge
blow a kiss to the wind but I choke
what did I mix, why am I mixing again
the wind shifts
and it goes Missing again

Bliss field Bliss field
walls all Falling down
hidden grove They do not make a sound
dreams Make sense when you’re in them
(I Guesss) Eerie, how I see it so clearly
held in my palm like a Bubble
fissiOn fusion Cracking asphalt
one day one day one instant
Flash

you Make too much sense
why do that to yourself and to me
why exist Coexist cross lights with Anyone
im Vain do not look for me
dont watch me fade fade
dreAm lotus field it all Made sense to me

Hide from fate but it keeps finding me
Hide from fate but it keeps finding me
Hide from fate but it keeps finding me