He was lying on the futon, watching Battlestar Galactica. I was in my nightgown sitting in his windowsill, smoking a cigarette, bored, restless & lonely. I stared out the window, looked down at the ground.

“Do you think if I fell out of your window, I would die?” I asked him.

“I don’t know if you’d die, but you would get seriously hurt that’s for sure.” He mumbled.

I took a long drag from my cigarette and looked back out the window. The street was empty and dark. The only illumination came from a single streetlight about half a block from where I was sitting. I stared at that streetlight for a long time, feeling as alone as ever. After a minute or so, I began to feel his eyes penetrate my core. I looked at him. He was all limbs spread in every direction. The flame in his eyes told me more than I wanted to know.

“Do you ever feel like a moth?” I asked him.

“In what sense?”

“I dunno, like do you ever feel like you’re always attracted to something that is out to destroy you in the end? Like no matter where you end up, you find yourself hitting the same lightbulb over and over as if it could save you… When really it will be the death of you?”

He looked at me quizzically. Electricity filled in the gaps between us.

“Why are you thinking about that?”

He reminded me of myself - always answering a question with a question.

I looked back at the streetlight and I could see the silhouettes of insects all around it.

“Oh, I was just noticing the streetlight over there and all of the bugs surrounding it. Don’t you ever feel like that though?” I asked him again.

“Well when you put it that way, I’ve always felt like that, yeah.”

“I have a book of poems that my friend Emma gave to me a while back - there’s a poem in there that reminds me of feeling like that. It’s called ‘the lesson of the moth’. I’d like to read it to you sometime.”

I took a drag from my cigarette and looked at him again. Beautiful, he was in that moment. Just lying there listening to me, I felt like I was being heard for the first time. Battlestar Galactica had then become just a fuzz of white noise. I stared at him in silence.

“What are you staring at?” I smiled.

“You.”

“Why?”

“You’re beautiful.”

I looked back at the streetlight and exhaled a long puff of smoke.

Minutes rolled by. I couldn’t bear to look at him again. I have a hard time being seen.

“Looking at you is like listening to a symphony.” He said at last.

I was caught more by the charm of how he was more absorbed by the moment of me and not the boring television series that blurred in the background, never mind the romance of what had just escaped from his mouth.

Because I knew I wasn’t the first girl he’s looked at like that, and I wouldn’t be the last.

But dammnit, he sure knew how to make my skin melt and my heart burn.

Twenty-five pigeons are doing **** rips in my living room.
In the middle of my living room
twenty-five pigeons
are doing **** rips
of **** that they bought
off my next door neighbor
who just happened to have some lying around.
There are twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips in my living room,
and they will not stop watching
Battlestar Galactica.
The twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips in my living room
ate all of my Cheese Nips,
and they drank the last
of the RC Cola I bought.
I try to get
the twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips in my living room
to leave,
because I hate it when they do this,
but they just coo at me
and that shuts me up.
One of the twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips
in my living room
accidentally knocks over
the ****
and spills bongwater
all over my ******* carpet.
The **** cracks.
They start flapping their wings really hard
and ******* everywhere,
because they're pigeons
and they're mad.
But then,
one of the twenty-five pigeons
produces some hash wax
from under his wings,
and now there's twenty-five pigeons
doing knife hits
of hash wax
over my stove,
and quite frankly
I'm ******.
I run in
and start waving my arms
around,
and scream,
"Get the **** out of here,
who let you in anyway?"
And the head pigeon drops the knife on accident,
and they all fly out of my living room
and into the sky,
all really blazed,
leaving me here,
mad,
with a bunch of stains on my carpet.

Galactic disposition
Relentless exposition
A guided meditation
To harbor one's condition
An earwax candle mission
Removing audible visions
Internal text to bring forth next
The silent-held emissions

The anti hero is a zero,
Because is only really needed to make the hero in the fictional story a hero,
So lets be honest, the anti hero is only needed in fictional reality for the adventure,
So movies, books and TV series need the anti hero,
You have The Master in Doctor Who,
You have Khan in Star Trek,
You have Darth Vader in Star Wars,
You have General Zod in Superman,
You have Ming the Merciless in Flash Gordon,
You have The Joker in Batman,
You have Count Baltar in Battlestar Galactica,
You have Diana in the V series,
You have Princess Ardala in Buck Rogers,
Because really the anti hero is a zero,
Because really the anti hero is a zero,
Because really the anti hero is a zero.

I have a quote for every situation
From friendship to love
From enemies to hate
But now I see
There is no quote for heartbreak
I try to use someone else’s words
Because mine don’t feel right
But I reach out
And there aren’t any words
My security blanket made of
“As you wish”
“This is our time down here”
Of bears beets and Battlestar Galactica
Of movies, books, podcasts, shows
Even of lyrics
There are none to describe me

Every night/
You tell yourself "tomorrow"/
But wake up feeling tired/
Missing yesterday/

Can't get out of bed/
Cold is misery/
Freeze all motor functions/
Winter in my bones/

Windburn on my face/
Westworld foxhole/
Questioning the nature of/
My reality TV/

Not putting on a show/
Hate me for who I truly am/
Rather be loved by none/
Than not myselves/

We are not one/
Even I am not one/
But everyone has a choice/
Don't force me to make a bad one/

Unfocused/
Ramadaan broken/
Fallen through the thin ice/
Can't find an opening/

Mind running wildfire/
Body cryogenically frozen/
Time slows down/
Out of kitchen sync/

Wrapped in plastic, but/
The spillage was of biblical proportions/
Distorted icewaterworld typhoon/
The sky is falling/

Frostbitten snowball/
Lost within the avalanche/
You avant-garde a clue about.../
My Battlescar Galactica./