You told me once you were scared of silence
And I can’t get that off my mind
I can’t understand
Because I can only find quiet when I’m around you
And it fits me like an old dog on a rainy afternoon
After walking all the way home after school
Warm and peaceful just listening to the breathing
Even and never stopping
Because that heartbeat doesn’t run on coal
But still it feels so warm against my cheek
And only when my mom comes home do I realize
Hours have passed by around that moment
And I had let go of how cold I was because the silence is
The time in-between
That melted that away
I understand the fear of silence
Or at least what disguises itself as it
The distant hum of thoughts
They swarm on the horizon of your mind
Some sounding like possible, probable, regretted conversations
And the roar can be so loud
Like an ocean, once just an idea
Now suddenly it tries to stretch its arms across your body
And you can only drown it out with headphones for so long
Before finally it’s crashing and thundering in your ears
And it leaves you feeling so cold and alone
And again it drags you back into the undertow
Of just what you don’t want to hear
While being so silent
But you make me want to listen closer
To that dull roar of static
Until it becomes a calmed, retreating tide
Swelling and receding to the shaking of my heartbeat
Until I remember I’m breathing the crisp air
Of a beach morning
And I can taste the sand
In my breath
The only sound left
Drag me into your shell, you hermit crab
Show me how your walls fix themselves into your spine
Forming your house, a conch shell
So instead of silence you always hear the ocean
To remind you of how vast the world is outside
While keeping you safe
In this pink cave
The tide rolls in and out artificially
While sand stretches itself between you and the actual shore
You took my hand and let me take you
To sink into the ocean up to eyelevel
And drown out all the other noises except that of the tide
To focus on the even rhythm
Of the water enveloping us
Just let your head fall back with me
And watch the sky long enough to forget that the shore exists
As the cold water digs fingers into my sandy scalp
They’ll thread themselves into your hair too
Assuring us there is no place in the world
Better than this one, silent moment
Together
