"exsistent" poems
I'm nocturnal
But I'm glowing inside.
One may not see
Looking from the outside.
Upside and down
Side to side
Confusion all around.
Angry in retrospect
No longer more
I found the confidence
To break away from this internal state of war.
And to explore,
How to love
The joys of a stable core.
Solitude a welcoming friend
I failed to comprehend,
I'm sorry dear one
It was you I needed to work on all along.
Neglecting you were here for the long run,
allowing external influences
To consume, engulf, dictate,
What I was when it was you
But you are me and I am you.
I shall not forget the mark you leave
Because without you I'll give in
To all my insecurities.
Destroying us,
Like a crumbling statue
Leaking water and all that spews.
No longer will I be whole.
Who is you?
For you are not a person.
Non-exsistent.
You're my self-worth, my credence
My internal self.
And till today you belonged detached,
Mismatched, unattached.
And I shall obliterate,
that cognitive state.
For this weak flame shall smother,
And burn bright for those who wish to see.
You are my definitions
My interests, hobbies, passions
Replies and reactions.
You are the tastes buds I so dearly love.
The endless daydreams I conjure
My demure,
For you are me when I am secure.
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 2:06 AM UTC
all I truly care about at the moment
is curling up in your arms
speaking of my resentment and admiration
torwards your careless character
Im so abundant with nourishment and hatred
so filled with the emptiness of me and you
If I can so raise my voice
to were every soul would listen in praise
I would speak of nothing but my loneliness
hurl out and send words into the universe
of my collasal seclusion
my hair grows and with it months of solitude
I almost feel like I cant write anymore
like my words are meaningless
because you will never read them
I will never bare arms
I will never look in your direction
where will inspiartion come from
when your sitting in the park alone
the grass nestles and makes noises
damp from the rain earlier that day
the bench is dark brown
and I sit on it anyways
my pants get wet
I dont care
I stare at the sun
it stings my eyes
and I become further annoyed with myself
further annoyed with my day
and further annoyed with my life
the light makes me feel lonlier than ever
the sounds of the birds singing in harmony
make me feel hallow inside
the sounds of cars driving by
I hope you remember the days
I hope you remember the non exsistent apology you gave me
I will remember everything
Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010 at 9:17 AM UTC
Love me like your favorite novel,
The one with the crinkled corners and
Worn out spine; the one that reminds
You of yourself through the words of
An author.
Love me like your favorite song,
The one you took the time to learn
Each and every lyric and chord; the one
That spoke to your heart and gave
You hope.
Love me like your first memory,
The one that seems like it happened
Just yesterday; the one that you hold
On to the strongest and remember
The longest.
Love me like today's our last and
Tomorrow is non-exsistent. Love me
Like I'm all you have left. Love me
Like I've dreamed, like I've been told in
Fairy tales.
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 3:22 PM UTC
Two on the left, two on the right,
The box moved slowly,
Carried, lifelessly through the crowd,
Tears, sobs, they mean nothing,
Crying over a loss, of what should be a gain.
Each person feels pain,
I feel none, the non exsistent pain,
Of a heart already broken,
A mind, already torn.
A body suffered,
An arm scarred,
The left to right line,
Each time, a new line,
Each day, a new time...
The love once had, lost,
The box burried it with her,
The final moments of chance,
Gone, slipping away like grains of sand.
The box lowered slowly,
The last drops of tear shed,
The final respects, paid,
Each mourning, each sobbing...
The rain came,
The red line washed away,
The pain was within, the rain,
Sliding down her face - like a blood soaked tear.
She feels no sorrow, she will not wallow...
Jan 18, 2011
Jan 18, 2011 at 3:57 PM UTC
Love to some is a metaphorical creature
it moves in the night possessing those who sleep with another,
it lives inside everyone whether it be platonic or not.
This metaphor of an iridescent emotion is not a force to reckon with,
it breaks people into two,
controls them driving them completely insane,
it hurts the innocent putting their self confidence to shame.
Love to some is a burden,
it burns your insides to oblivion.
"mother it hurts" she isn't there to help because this internal pain isn't something that Jim could fix.
In fact Jim will make it worse.
love to some is a quick release,
a fix,
a drug,
a metaphorical object mental illness that wont leave their mind body and soul.
love my dear quick run and hide,
some of them want to use you .
What they use you for is either the worst thing in the world,
or the best thing in the entire universe.
However love for me?
is non-exsistent
Feb 14, 2017
Feb 14, 2017 at 12:52 PM UTC
I was empty handed,
And yet my heart full,
They didn't see,
They we're blinded,
To consumed,
To distracted,
They came first,
I came last,
They wore masks,
I just hid,
We were impostors,
But they played,
And they won,
I always lost,
They we're fools,
Their vision
Non-exsistent,
As was I
On days I cried,
They never
Stopped me,
They let me hurt,
Let me injure myself,
And before long
I was just scars,
Proof of how
Little the world cared,
Before I died
They didn't know,
They didn't know me,
Or my pain,
Or my tears,
Or even my scars,
They knew the impostor.
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 7:58 AM UTC
How can you be the boy I fell for?
You've grown angrier,
You've grown grizzly and cruel,
Your heart seems to be buried deep,
Your smile has become non-exsistent,
Your laughter has become complete silence,
You don't even glance my way,
Sorrow fills me when I go over how you've changed,
You were once a kind,caring and gentle boy,
Once you were heartfelt and your smile was worn playfully and proudly,
Your laughter once filled the air to no end,
You once stared for minutes at a time,
It's hard to believe it's still you,
But still I can tell by the gleam in your eyes,
Your dark brown hair similar to my own,
Your lips silently waiting,
I can tell it's still you,
But only because my heart still cares enough to realize it,
No matter how you change
Old feelings may always stay the same.
Dec 22, 2011
Dec 22, 2011 at 10:51 AM UTC
Love is___________ (Finish this sentence)
*Magical? Incredible? Mystical?
Destroying? Confusing? Ugly?
Never or ever- lasting?
Heart breaking or heart healing?
A road to happiness or a road to sorrow?
Non exsistent?*
Please, I need to pass this test.
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 28, 2017 at 9:24 AM UTC
loose lips might sink ships,
but when i get lost in your lips,
they sink bridges,
bridges that creates a distance,
leave it alone,
cause those lips,
were non-exsistent at all,
stay clear of those lips,
or it might sink and dip,
something bigger than ships.
Jul 18, 2017
Jul 18, 2017 at 2:43 AM UTC