A normal day goes by, nothing special happens,
but deep inside my beating heart,
my spirit begins to bruise.
everything was ordinary, yet strangely, angst grows,
paranoia, fear,
anything? don't know.
do I actually have any friends? or am I just a puppet,
trying my best to please and cheer,
but is it just an annoyance?
people seems to love each other, they seem to be good friends,
however, when it comes to me, there'll always be a veil.
Doubt shrouds the mind.
Unable to release from these bounding chains,
I question my every move, spinning in circles,
stepping forward haltingly.
Whenever I do something someone else does,
I get punished, scolded, and mocked,
but they get let through as if they made no mistake,
why is this world so unfair?
Am I friendless because I'm worthless?
Powerless? am I a hindrance?
There's no benefits befriending me,
I have no position in reality.
In the end, friends always leave me for someone better,
someone with knowledge,
someone with network,
someone with influence,
Heck, even someone who's naught but pretty!
Confusion, disbelief, and suspicion, all present,
troubling my head with endless torment,
why is it only me, is it my low confidence,
my distastefulness, or maybe it's my own ignorance?
or maybe
it's because I neglected all those close to me
since I didn't think they thought of me as friend
.
