it’s falling, it’s falling.. everything is falling all of a sudden.

but why is it falling?

because i am alone. because i am not being currently distracted from anything.

ahh, there you go again misplacing your emptiness for loneliness. why do you do that?

well-

because you can’t stand to be around yourself for longer than five seconds in a clear head.

i mean-

i did not miss your rude interruptions.. so you fill me up with anything you can find in the moment; smoke, drugs, men, food that i’m not hungry for, or perhaps i’m in dire need of and you neglect me.
now, it seeeems like you’re trying to get rid of me.

no offense but you cause all of the pain i feel. like is it really my fault when you decide to start aching deeeep inside that i eliminate it through punishment? you hurt people and you get hurt back, besides you wear the shades of blue and purple rather well.

hold up, you think i am the one causing that ache? i’ve lain dormant for years, constantly kicked in the face each time i try to get up. you suffocate me, you deprive me, you do not honor me as you should. you lay me down time and time again to feed your sick habits. it would be like YOU to throw your nastiness on someone else, though. reminds me of someone in particular we know-

don’t. you. dare.

go look at me and tell me i’m wrong?
you can’t.

To see this highway,
And a vision beyond it
Beside it  .. running along like threads that hold the keep  
Dirt roads that come to the middle and end  
A front door open ,
And shut a thousand times and holding its secrets still..    
  
In my rear view ,  
And front.  
A haze of dust collected there  
  
My eyes are wide against rest.  
A yellow line will spin out hours ahead of me before they find comfort and closure against a pillow  
  
.And the moon and stars make work of my imagination.  
Residuals and lasting impressions dust my dreams.
  
Scorched coffee  (pause)
Sugared bites,  
And the road I travelled ,  
  
Well economies.    
  
Not glimpses into the usual, or typical  
Exactly,...  
but glances towards an American Gothic.  
    
Perhaps even the Abraham of the streets
  
(Long thoughtful pause and deep pull of a Redbull)

Would I stoop to consider these,
Remove myself from self titled Shaman of the Netherlands  ...
and dive deeeep into the Delta.

Musky scent of both decay and renewal,
Let it be heady.
Let it fly fast into downed windows through fingertips extended and waving through the wind.

Learn  by feeling and leaving  ...
experience.
But no intent on living there.

**** me I'm pathetic
So ******* empathetic
This isn't my blood
Where is realitttty
I can't find the line
Please help me
seperate yours from mine
It's killing me
So A.D.D.
Can't even process
But I will profess
I'm falling deeeep
Just tell me
Why must you weep
Why must I