wanted to write a darker peom. please give me some feedback*

I see you dessicated
Falling dying
You become one with the earth, your body sinking into
Like the titanic into sea

I fall with you
We fall as one
United forever
Even at the end
For eternity

Goodbye
Gnarled and sickly
She strokes my hands
This shell, this cornhusk
It's going to be okay, she says
Are you sure? I ask, scared
This shell, this hospital
Will be the death of me

And there were battles in our eyes
And they fell down our faces
Like little waterfalls
And by the time the battle had ended,
We were fast asleep
And dreaming of times we could not
Consciously remember
We dreamt of loud music
And blue eyes with black pupils
We dreamt of the sun;
High, hot, heavy, and mighty
Suspending in the sky
We dreamt of loose clothes
Falling off of our bony bodies
We dreamt of ecstasy –
In our spirits
And our mouths
And the way the bitter raindrops taste
When the little battles landed
On our tongues
We dreamt of shotguns and empty bottles
Cornhusk ropes and broken lighters
So when I wake up tomorrow
I will not think of you
Because a dream well-spent
Is a dream well-kept

The roses are
in flower
and they're
climbing towards
the sea foam sky
where Aphrodite's
singing and she may have
played my song

the song where you are
dancing and your shoes
are made of something
that is causing my knees,
weakening,
melting in place
and bloom

how is it that love grows?
that roses grow?
that deep in the
drought of summer,
our cornhusk
baker-miller
summer

how is it my heart
expands
and grows
so feverishly
for you?

canadian bacon is the best
just laying down some facts
poutine is also good
never really cared for the pea soup tho

america.
mcdonalds is ok
i prefer popeyes over
kfc but thats just me

mexico
i ate the corn husk of
a tamale once
carne asadas are pretty bomb

conclusion:
remove the cornhusk from the tamale
thicc bacon is good bacon
eat more fried chicken

My fretting rain now sets the corner of the world into the sun
You little one, a pocketful of number ones to run along
This is the end, my very beautifulest friend
The spirit dancing on the Nile
And will I leave it with the changing of the seasons?

Making friends that go immediately
Suns into a spiralling
Little joys admiring
The geese that fly by, leaving all supply dry
Anonymous see butterflies

Point to several setting moons to enjoy panorama
Just like my treble clef inside
Standing up towards the sky
Need I remind you my problems?
Virgins peel like a cornhusk light
(Cactus-like tendrils, spiky and purple
Yields an invisible fruit inside)
So will I
I am the motion
I can’t see you against the sky

Five AM is when you’ll go
To be caught up in your cries
You will stand by side, your side
I’m over it, I wouldn’t lie

I’m such a weak, tremulous girl
I dive into love way too fast
I get attached to a horrid choice
It should have not been this way
Because of the way social plays

Your sentence stutters, it’s make believe
The transient way that you sang to me
I lost the lover, he’ll never see
The chains that describe what he means to me
Sinking in the sea where the creatures can attach
I want to scream a mountain and override this black