My mood keeps changing
rising and falling with the tide
It leaves me cold and wet
lost and cofused
angry

I can't keep my fire controlled
the wind blows and it whips
down the hill
engulfing every tree in flames
It leaves me hot and scared
guilty and alone
empty

I can't keep the sun on my side
I keep losing my way
she shies away from the challenge
and so I live in the darkness
and it leaves me tired and helpless
hopeless and longing
isolated.

Indecisive* excusing behaviors and believing  against hope

prayers or wishes

Didn't know
couldn't fathom

I'd be rejected then imprisoned

Cofused misleading

implications await this bitter bed

Black roses & blistering thorns

crowned the conquered queen

*Mangled chains tearing chaffing  swollen  wrists

Ankles held fast on this tainted flea infested bed  

An ***** haze clouds all around  no sounds forth coming  

drugged induced
intoxicating lazy lulled senses

Heart's slowing down
No one can help
caught trap and stuck

"Love's" captured me again
but little does he know

I'll  be dead before
       the sun's first glow**
     Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N
1977-Present  
All right reserved

I used to write when a pen and ink were the tools we used
but
then I got cofused by predictive text
(which never worked then)
did it?

so now if there is a now or is it then? when I have this existential crisis
I have no pen to poke my eyes out or scribble words out or rip a scripture on papyrus,

there's just us
declining yet advancing
in our years
reclining in the armchairs
climbing up the
back stairs

I used to have shares in this
now
I'm a part of it


don't let them sell you **** and
call it jello,
that's my advice for
what it's worth

Stooped down for a stupor moment
I found myself in an eerie silence
Many may call this as discernment
But this is when my cofused heart hearkens

I'd never thought I'll face a lot
I'd never thought I'll hear countless voices
I'll never thought I'll be laughed at
Never thought I'll be swallowed by darkness

Again, agonized by silence
Dumbfounded by the staggering amount
Of dumbness and speaking conscience
Dumb to realize no answers were found.

whats happened to the planet it is changing fast
all the global warming how long will it last
icebergs they are melting underneath the skies
falling in the oceans as the sea begins to rise

factorys and there chimneys polluting all the air
to the world we live in is it really fair
tempretures are rising hotter than before
heating up the planet as they begin to soar

wild life all cofused with global change
all there habitats they have to rearrange
crops are failing fast they cant cope at all
with lack of rain that they need to fall

nothing we can do we dont have a say
just watch the planet change each and everyday