I never thought I’d see the day when I would agnise the depths of my desire.

Ingrained in every cell; the swell of emotion
ebbs and flows into each passing day
like the waves we’re all familiar with.
A calling card;
reminding me of the expectation of love,
the anticipation of hope,
and the abuse of obstinacy.

I learn from it everyday.
Paying respect and gratitude as tuition for the lesson called ‘life.’
Freshman year, every year.

Can’t complete the puzzle even when all of the pieces fit.
There is meaning in this.
Sometimes, I wish it wasn’t so.
But I can’t pursue it alone, so I won’t.
“If it can be realised, let it be so when the universe wants it”, is my escape.
But there is no escaping yourself.
You are the universe and it is you.

It has never felt like it wasn’t meant to be.
It has never been like it wasn’t supposed to.
Maybe one day it will manifest again.
Or perhaps fade like all beautiful, fleeting, moments.

You won’t catch me chasing something that doesn’t want to be caught.
You’ll see me walking the other way.
You’ll see my aura welcome it.
And you’ll see me turn around to embrace it with every fibre of my being.
But only if it wants the same things as I do.

If it doesn’t, that’s okay, too.

i left so soon

i wonder if i’ll ever get to see you again


i didn’t even see you that night,
but when i met you in that other place,
i didn’t even realise,
what had come over me.

i didn’t even see you that night,
but i thought in that other space,
as wanton boys to flies-
what are you to me?

who are we to be?
i struggle to agnise,
and find any pace,
with lack of sight.

who you are to me,
either my demise,
or a romantic ace,
i’ll just think tonight.

there wasn’t much time anyway
not that first day
or the second day
we knew i had to go away

but part of me was praying
what you were saying
is what i was saying
because there was no staying

we had to go
and now i know
i hope you know
but do you though

and as i ponder
and i wander
and as you wander
i hope we grow fonder

maybe it won’t be where we met,
it could be back in that spot,
it could be where i know you are,
i just hope we meet again.

maybe it won’t be where we met,

it could be where i was when you were gone,
or it could be that you’d look for me where i am just for me to be away,
or maybe we’d find a new place where we’d be delightfully surprised to see each other again,
or maybe it’s not meant to be and we’re not meant to find each other.

maybe i’m just crazy,

i could be lost in emotion trying to claw my way out of hopelessness,
or i could be delusional and hoping for too much from nothing,
or maybe i can sense the feeling from you these many miles away,
or maybe i’m alone in feeling.

because i didn’t even get to see you that night,
i found you in a place i didn’t expect,
i’m not even sure if you found me.

i don’t know if you still think of me,
maybe it’s wrong because of the time and place,
because i didn’t even get to see you that night.

i didn’t even get to see you in that place;
you weren’t at home.

and i was a traveller too;
i wasn’t at home.

what i hoped to find,
i found elsewhere,
in a different place,
in another world.

i still found you there,
it’s not the same,
it’s a different place,
it’s not my home.

i hoped we could talk,
maybe we could reconcile,
but as i walk,
it may not be worth our while.

unless it’s fate to meet in that place,
i move along to another space.

the thought runs through my mind,
and hope as well,
that i can find,
and i can tell,

that person i met elsewhere that i’m sorry,
i’m sorry i left so soon,
and i’m sorry that i found you elsewhere.

i hope that i find you home,
i hope that it’s not too late,
and i hope that you’re still there.

i didn’t even see you that night,
i hope that next time you’ll be there,
instead of some other place.

instead of some other place,
please be there,
because that night,


i left so soon

i wonder if i’ll ever get to see you again