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Voices are telling me not to jump
They're loud, demanding
Crying out, beseeching me
"STOP!" they yell.  "STOP!"

A small voice inside me whispers "jump"

I'm afraid but I step forward
Swaying in the rough wind
The urgent sound of an alarm clock
Shrieks next to me -
The sound rushing through my room
Like a runaway train

My dog leaps up barking, licks my face
I sit up soaked in sweat
Disheveled, confused, shaking

A witness once again
To my own resurrection
I couldn't help but smile
when a bird outside our kitchen
trilled, "Whew, whew, whew!"
Then it switched to "Wee-oop,
wee-oop, wee-oop!"

"Listen to that!" I cried aloud,
as Kim kept chopping her kale.
I went to the screen for a ****
while the bird continued.

The singing abruptly stopped,
and so did I.
I put away my pipe
and started a gluten-free diet.
I cancelled our subscription
to the New York Times,
and filed for divorce.

This was no surprise to Kim.
"You were always an *******,"
she said. "Same as that
******* bird."
On the day you decided to love me no more,
You Left my heart so sore.
The sky began to cry,
And I had no better option than to lie.
And act like all was well.
Because I stumbled and quickly fell,
And I felt to weak to stand
I only needed your hand
To grab and pull me up
No one knew of my sorrow
And no one saw me weep
But the love I feel for you
Is in my heart to keep.
My five years with my Dad
   His last five years with me

Slipping Cori's wedding ring on her finger
   In front of our crowded church

Purple t-shirt faded and misshapen by washing
   My safety and freedom color

Kneading bread with Grandma
     Untill the stickiness was gone

1947 edition of John Keats poetry
           Broken binding and old book smell

Silver dollar minted in 1922
           The year my mother was born

Singing in church choir
               My name sewn into my robe

Collection of small ceramic birds
From trips and birthdays

Waiting in line to vote for Hillary
Grandma is smiling
Dry my tears, but do not touch me.
Go away, but don't leave me alone.
I am tangled in terror, tiredness, confusion.
So tell me again how I am safe, strong, and free.
Go ahead. Tell me again.
A hollow takes root in my heart,

I watch helpless
as this cavern empties
its once warm elixir,
now cool as coal
on a bed of dying embers.

suddenly,
trepidation surges
upending my
quiet comfort
while voices whisper in an upswell

"this safety on the razor's edge
is an illusion
and must be returned
to the debt ridden sea!"

slowly the mist settles,
revealing the great divide.

I hold my breath
and  go under
Posted this poem without much editing last night. Rewrote it throughout the day, here and there when I had the chance. It kept on asking to be rewritten. Here is what I think is the final version. I originally had written "lost at sea" under notes. I think it still applies.
Hey, aren't you
That son-of-a *****
Whose mother jumped the wall.
Yea! You know who you are.
I spotted you hanging on the corner
Through the windshield of my car.
Were you talking conspiracy,
And planning your next job;
Dealing girls, drugs and guns,
Looking goth macabre.

You know who you are.
I saw you look right back at me
Through the side window of my car.
You were talking to your buddies,
I couldn't hear what you said,
I'm convinced it wasn't good,
By the tatoos on your head.

Yes, you know who you are.
You're still idley standing there,
In the rearview of my car.
I was standing at the corner
Of Yonge and Bedlam Ave.,
When I spied a chap across the way,
The image of my Dad.

He had one thumb in his pocket,
The fingers hung outside.
His other arm craddled a book,
As often in his life.

His weight was shifted to the right,
With head cocked to the side;
He wore his cap over one eye,
Tweed jacket open wide.

He raised his head,
As I did mine,
Looked to me and nodded;
He smiled and touched
The edge of his brim,
I did the same as him.

We crossed with the light.
He passed
And went
Where he belongs;
Me, to the library,
My book was overdue.
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