i can’t bare you being like this
but when the night comes your silence pierces my heart,
shatters my dreams,
my agitation comes to the surface
how much I crave to be with you
i can’t bare you being like this
not this broken connection
you left me hanging,
crushed me like one would crush a leaf

as young as sampaguita in the farm
but stubborn as a mule
a pain in her mama's chest

her day cries if she doesn’t get
what she wants and days get longer  
if she refused to do the chores

stubborn child, stubborn child, her mama said
it echoes back her ears
words she doesn’t want to hear

it isn’t her mama’s equation to solve
but she repudiates and spews dormant philippics
like an erupting volcanoes

stubborn child, stubborn child, her mama said
it echoes back her ears
words she doesn’t want to hear

but her papa was different different as he was
he held her stubbornness like a baby
in his arms so fragile

he put her in a hammock and heard her cry
like a deep broken voice no one hears
and saw her dark shadows no one sees

he, whose heart flows in her veins
lifted her up and soften her heart
as she lay them down his chest

she whispers upon the moon for a change
many nights before she retires to bed
but like ravens their feathers always black

she can’t understand why her mama only sees
the ugly face of stubbornness
but then for her she finds beauty from it
an ornament her breast wears

her will power!
that’s what she is

there was a child whose father
brews rice at dawn
before the eyes of her mother
she frowns and stands like a pawn

her neighbors grumble saying
her lips a peg for pots
but they've seen nothing
what's inside her hearts

at the age of ten she thinks
like a hundred times her age
she burns her brows at nights
while her siblings sleep in their caves

she stands in the dark trails
her childhood can't see or hear
but her heart alone sees
how much she wanted to be free                                                                                                            

there's a spring of tears
and a lake of fire
she locks her door
and hides her face inside

cyclothymia runs her blood, they said
but their blind to see
blind to see her in a bottomless pit
almost defied

and her mother only sees
a face with a frown
a frown not the fullness
of her heart with a crown

but her father looks into her eyes
his smiles washed away the frown on her brows
leaving no flecks but a face that radiates
she flows with the rivers and seas

he sees her depths and lifts his pride
his a shelter she trusts her back and her spine
and her face glows in the dark a luminous green
then she finds her way and strength to walk on her path

the child with a frown no longer exists
her mother stands still in wonders
the neighbors and their mouths are shot
as a well grown garden arise
full of flowers bees and butterflies

dhamma inundating mind volition strengthen
maras unshackled  from the root existence free’n
sakharas activated in the surface soften
sleeping volcanoes waken into the space weaken

dhamma inhabiting constant atmospheric flow moving
cyclical habit mind pattern from past centuries eradicating
defilements within uprising  in the mind deactivating
miseries dissolving metta within cultivating

dhamma uprising heart saturated lightness consummates
boundless chemical reactions uprising sensations dissipates
free flow vibration charges limitless metta  propagates
static body  still mind equanimity effectuates

ticking clock
clattering plates and spoons
chatters from a distance

chirping birds
footsteps passing by
sound of a fan