Put me on your assembly-line.
Manufacture me limb by limb.
Make me transparent to all of the pain I used to know,
love me like the back-beat to your favorite songs,

      let your passion move me,
and I will
do the
same.

I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.

I am a testament to humanity,
we all are, together,
all of us different, yet human,

Bitten finger nails to the quick
Fuzzy hair standing up on end
Sad, tired eyes
Endless pit
Bare feet and purple toe nail polish
No jacket
Lying on the park bench and feeling nothing
She feels nothing

I wanna fire you in my veins;
have you ruin my life
I want you to be the cancer, baby
I have to cut out with a knife