I was a princess once
It was long before I was sad
I was daddy's little girl and mommy's little angel
I used to twirl in my dresses and bows
happily singing my songs
then I grew up
I lost myself
I shattered
I tried to pick up the pieces
just  for one day
one day, my birthday, to be whole again
I only had enough glue and tape to piece myself together for one day
I was queen for that day
I was turning 15, my quinceañera, I was queen for a day
My dress, my makeup, my hair was perfect
I was queen for the day
but once the party was over, and my dress was taken off
my makeup washed off, my hair back to its messy oily self
I look into the mirror and I'm no longer queen
it's 2:21 am the day after my birthday and I'm still broken
I'm still me and that *****
My demons screamed, my nails clawing, trying to get out of my skin
Sure, I was queen for a day, but I'm not a queen
I don't rule, I'm not majestic, nor radiant nor elegant
I was like a little kid for a while
playing pretend
playing dress up
although I was beautiful, I was beautiful for one day
one day and one day only.
I wish I was beautiful for more than just one day
but there is only so much glue and so much tape
those aren't permanent fixes, those are temporary
just like my reign

When we kiss, I don't feel it
When we hug, I don't feel it
When we hold hands, I don't feel it
A kiss is supposed to be passionate, like fireworks that blow my mind
A hug is supposed to make me feel safe and warm and loved
Holding hands is supposed to feel electric, like a spark
but I don't feel it
I like you, at least as a person, as a friend
I don't love you though, I don't know what love is so how am I supposed to love you?
You're kinda boring, too stable, too dependable, too uninteresting
When we talk, you don't speak, it's me, talking to myself
and honestly I don't like myself enough to talk to me.
But what am I suppose to do, you love me.
you are obsessed with me, although I don't know why
You care for me too much for me to want to hurt you
I don't want to hurt you
but honey, I don't feel it
it, the spark, the fireworks, the love
I just don't feel it, am I really the one to blame?
I don't feel it
wouldn't you rather me feel it and love you
than me not feeling it, but staying with you out of guilt?
You love me, but I don't love you.
Honestly I don't know how to love, even if I did feel it
I don't know how to be in a functional relationship
so I'm sorry
I'm so so sorry
but I just don't feel it and its wrong to lead you on.

my dream is a flying bird
It is beautiful and free
I want to catch it, not to cage it, but to have it
at this point in my life, the bird seems unattainable
I'd have to set up traps, but they might **** it
I'd have to gain its trust, maybe by feeding it
but if I later catch it, that trust might die
so for now, I'll admire it
I'll dream of that beautiful bird and hope and work so that it might come to me.

You only live once?
What an interesting thought.
But maybe it's true.

If death's but a door
To paradise forever.
The blessing of God.

No one asks for life.
God provides it free to all.
"You only live once..."

That portion of life
We spend on this planet Earth
Is just a prologue.

While here we should love,
Do good, and glorify God...
Set our sights on Him.

My BODY will die.
But my SOUL is infinite,
And will be reborn...

My corpse will decay,
To dust my tissue return.
But I will go on....

You only die once.
And thus escape this cold world
To the arms of God.

If we live just "once,"
Then life goes on forever...
Aim for Paradise.

she writes his name on cigarettes
so his name will be her dying breath
the only thought left for her tonight
is that each cigarette is a day off her life

he apologized too many times
for her to believe it again
but she does
out of love for him
she'll never get back