one of these days you'll get to class and look for me.
but you won't be concerned that I'm not there.
until our teacher behind to speak
with tears in her eyes.
and tells everyone I died.

you probably wouldn't believe it
because I've been better lately.
but then you'll realize
that I was the best at lies.

It became an addiction
with every one came another
another blood stain in my diary
Another pill to swallow to subdue the pain of the next,
another flame against my still raw flesh
racing myself toward the finish line of my own life
embossing my skin with a map of moments
Little pink scars
like the pink of the sunset
the pink in his eyes
I never liked pink or brown
but in his eyes they were perfect
But when that pink changed colour
Green when he's angry
Orange when he is someone he's not supposed to be
A burnt reminder that old habits don't die
Merely reborn as another
I used to burn myself,
The smell of burning flesh still puts me on edge
Relapse loses all meaning
Maybe it'll welcome me back like an old friend
That friend I never wanted
But still managed to have
Didn't notice I was slowly killing myself
poisoned stomach with diet pills
Losing ten pounds a week
75 pounds at 5 foot 2 and still fat
'You're petite that's a good thing' he told me
Swallowing handful after handful
A month of force feeding by my family and I realized he was wrong,
all it took was a heart break
it all started again
an new addiction
hand to scalp in my sleep
tearing out bits of hair
and you wonder why I cut it
a year later I began biting
bite by Bit by bit by bite taking myself away
Because once again there was too much
Always too much
But somehow I've never been enough for anyone else

Could you recognise the unholy screams of planes firing throughout the sky?
Poor guys impaled on spikes of war, corrupted hiding in the trenches.
Almighty, flash of light, filling the screaming, beating sky.
The guys in the trenches,  not afraid to die,
Or are they?
If it means their honour's kept intact.
The ****** soldiers, facing the war for the first time ever.
Doing their duty, proud men.
On the payroll on the nation.

Bombs continued dancing on the skyline, in their nonchalant way.
Smell the hanging death, it's strung throughout the atmosphere.
And still they watched and hid, and still they smelled the terror,
The terror they keep inside, not allowed to be afraid, caught upon the storming skies.
During the latest fatal air raid.
A storm of sand invades,
The sand blamed for  the eviction of their tears.
Stiff upper lip is frigid!
(c) Livvi

I sat beneath a silver maple split
in two, yet still growing.
Dead leaves and nestlings
chirping like quick fire sirens
settled in the vein-like branches
above. The maple's cracked
canyon bark was dotted
with yellow lichens like distant
city lights.

It is simple, and yet sublime;
Incapturable.

You need not go in,
Take away the man, destabilising the economy
That you so love
Letting them die

You need not assassinate and collaborate,
Scheme and puncture
Spheres of influence that stretch and bubble
In Latin America and Southern Asia,

You need not sign secrets away
Safe and deep
In silos and bunkers
Where Armageddon sleeps.

You need not supply, buy and axchange
Implements of violence and rage,
Picking sides in civil war, tribal conlflict
And bigger,
In lands you do not understand
Lands where the mountains resonate with holiness,
Lands of spiritual awakening awaiting for the young;
Concepts you can’t grasp, that don’t sit well

You need leave them be.
Enough has been done,
Not always with bad intention
But rarely for the greater good
Enough has been said and bought and replaced
Captured, shot at, disgraced,
Caricatured into funny cartoons
Taken over, the masters’ role assumed.

For all the radars and sonar
It seems impossible to listen;
Simple, yet sublime.
Incapturable.
Irreplaceable.

Waking up
here comes the day
all it's glory
packed away
I light a smoke
and greet the sun
with last night's liquor on my tongue
my eyes they burn
my head feels cracked
I'm far too old for nights like that!