There is always something in the blood
Something fascinating even for a god
The rush of euphoria and high
whenever a blade cut comes nigh

The thick red syrup of life
Like rubies cascading on flesh pipes
The feeling you get when
You have cut your skin open

The act is mildly repulsing
Yet, to watch it is deeply fascinating
As you see your life flow by
And lose it in a blink of an eye

The only question once you go high
When Death is sitting nearby
And all hopes come to die
Is one on your lips so dry

How long will it last?

A message to the people who pretends,
The guy on the bus, and the lady next to me,
Last time I talked about depression,
Do you really know?

How it feels that something nonexisting
Eats you up and fills you with guilt?
How every waking moment is a painful reminder,
Of what have come and gone

Of every rejection and disdain,
Of every scorn and contempt,
Of every single word cutting like knives
The blood inside rolling down bare skin,

Do you really know?
The terrible tragedies my eyes have seen,
The constant rings of dead sounds in my ears,
And the memories replaying over and over,

And over and over and over
Like an endless sea of perpetual agony
Like the putrid breath unable to come off
It sticks like a velcro on glue.

Nowhere near have you seen
Nowhere near have you heard
Nowhere near have you experienced
The metallic taste of depression and the fear...

Of every friend and family dying
Of every rejection and frustration
Of everything in this whole ugly
Twisted and convoluted world

Do you really know?

Which is it?
Have I?
Where is it?
Should I?

Questions... All of them
Bugging me and my life
Harder and harder
It gets worse all the time

Forgetting something?
Depressed over everything
Even the tiniest speck
Even the slightest streak

The doubt
It fills me with guilt
Terror and frustration
Of anxiety and suicidal thoughts

That is...what?
Who am I?
Who are you?
The doubt never stops...

I look into the mirror
I see faces
Perfect copies
Different identities

Some faces
Lined with fear
Regret and love
Of shame and envy

Others with expressions
Of anger and lies
Stone faces
And cold hearts

Everyday I look
Into the mirror
Questions I have
Fogging the glass

Which one?
The real one?
Which of it?
Is it me?

The shadow, behind where darkness lies
A glittering coal flowing with grace,
The robe of a thousand agonies,
The angel who fell from grace;

Behind him is the Chase,
A pack of hellhounds,
Burning eyes and feiry mouths,
Snapping jaws full of fangs;

The luminous girl runs,
Her broken wings tucked,
Her silvery gown ripped,
Her golden sandal missing a pair;

Through the Howling forest,
Where the shadows lie,
A trap she did not expect,
A contraption snapped;

Her foot caught on a jaw,
A steel mouth full of teeth,
Scarlet streams oozing,
Deep pools in the earth;

Now the Agonies come close,
The Chase opening its maw,
The liquid fire bursts,
And Ivy finally burns...

Through the eyes we see,
A woman battered and ******,
A man angry of envy,
And children traumatized and wary;

A boy whose lips are ******,
Bruises in him are many,
A girl scared and shaky,
Who can do nothing but see;

The man tries to hit,
But the boy took it,
Head bashed to the wall,
Everyone screams as he falls;

The father leaves,
The mother hugged his son tight,
The older sister wailed,
The son trembling with fear in his eyes;

Through the eyes we see,
What a gruesome word it is,
To call it a necessity,
This thing called Family....

The world is dark
A perfect twilight
Grey shades and purple hues
My mind screaming for an escape

A lit cigarette on hand
A steel kissed lover on the other
The tingling electricity
Of the cold steel, waiting...

A dab in the flesh
Pressing down hard to the veins
A thin red line runs
Down my wrists and the tub

Euphoric and high
I saw rich velvet red
Flowing like streams
Down the drain my life goes

Now the world is in color....