as i feel the earth crack underneath me,
i have to wonder if it's really the ground,
or is it coming from within.
i lost you there,
i remember my mother telling me,
if i get lost stay in the same spot until i am found,
i'm finding that as an adult,
this method no longer is applicable,
three years have passed,
i am now no longer able to stand here,
the further away you go,
the more frightened i become.
fear derives from ignorance,
ignorance can quickly manifest,
for me it manifested into a cloud,
not the gorgeous cloud one would hope for,
rather a acidic, foul, cloud
as if an atomic furnace stands nearby,
puffing it's smokestacks of evil, fear and hatred.
turning me into nothing but utter dust.
i must remember to be grateful,
i breathe
my heart beats
some are not quite as fortunate
as i have been lucky enough
to share something with another spirit,
that some will only dream of.
"unconditional love"; a wishful thought humans enjoy, it causes us to be thankful that our soul is still inside a physical shell.
"unconditional love"; provides hope that maybe, just maybe one day you will provide the emotions
words or eternal love we all crave but cannot provide
nor receive.
it's something we deserve but can't obtain or give.
not one ******* soul on this earth deserves,
to take their final breath with a broken, pained or shattered heart,
does death save us from our soul completely shattering.
when death comes our soul leaves our body in tact.
There must be some meaning to all this,
GOD knows our soul cannot be torn even one more time.
if you take anything from this diatribe,
through a morbidly dispirited writer,
everyone i have ever emotionally invested in,
is still as strong as the day I began to to give a piece of myself to them.
& sadly i need to learn to stop investing in those that give up on me,
like a incompetent stock broker i continue to invest in relationships,
that have no chance of revival.
Love &Art;, 1991,
Henk H.