Every night I wish I could wake up somewhere else,
But every morning I am still here.

my head scares me
yelling at myself in the car
I am so done
hitting the steering wheel over and over
I am losing it
salt water dripping down cheeks
food
food
food
makes
me hate
myself
it all comes
back to how
I am the problem
why feed the problem
starve the problem
its your choice
fat or thin?
I have so much to be grateful for
I dont know why I feel like this
I am fat
I'm just done

I was dead before we met.
I was born again when you fell in love with me.
I lived while we were together, somehow even when things ended between us I find the strength to keep going.
But some days are hard and I struggle to even get up,
I don't lay on your side of the bed to make it seem like your coming back.
I keep your clothes in the closet even when I don't have enough room for mine.
I love you.

I watch the chatter of long time friends
The jealousy's blooming
It will never end
The thing that's always been there that refuses to let go
This ***** named jealousy is the only friend I know.

Obviously he's more successful cause everyone supports what he does
And me I'm sitting here in jealousy and envy just cause because
Be happy be happy cause you have everything you need
While i sit here with jealousy envy and greed

She was hanging there by a rope; she is a corpse.
She had a beautiful blue dress on and her hair was done, she wanted to look nice.
She is hanging by her window she was hoping someone would see her,
That’s all she ever wanted is for someone to see her, she felt invisible.
She thought about death, she never thought she would do it though.
She wrote a note, explaining why she killed herself, explaining why she had scars on her wrist.
Because everyone thought she was fine, no one knew she self- harmed on her wrist.
I’m sorry I had to do this, please forgive me. No one would find her, no one would care.

You’re killing me slowly. Can’t you see that I’m in pain?
I don’t want to get out of bed.
I cry when no one can hear me. I don’t smile anymore. I feel so sad at times I want to die.
Every day is another battle I have to fight!
I can’t love anyone or trust people because of you. Why did you leave? Why did you reject me I was just a baby when you gave me up? What did I do? Was I not good enough for you?
Even when I was older you rejected me again. But I want to see you.
  I love you. Please don’t go again. I need you. Don’t leave me alone.  Because I don’t know if I can keep fighting alone.

I can’t subject you to my horrors, I can’t do it anymore.
It’s a new day but everything is the same except for the sky.
I’m tired of living each day and have nothing change, but I’ll look back a year later and realize everything really has changed.
Why do the bad things have to stay and keep torturing my sleep, my life and my brain it’s killing me.

What are you going to say at my funeral now that I have died?
Here lays the body of a girl, a friend, a person who had dreams. A person who wanted to do many things.
She is no was beautiful, she never thought she was beautiful. She was insecure and unhappy, she was serious and depressed.
She didn’t like her body, the way the fat held on and never let go. She hated the way she smiled when everyone else complimented her on it.
Here lays the girl that never got a chance to live she was only 15 years old. Her 16th birthday was in November, but she felt that she had been here too long.
Here lays the girl who will never read another book or ever get married. She will never have kids; she will never be able to make the same mistakes her parents did.
She is dead and it’s all over, the pain, sadness, and depression. Her demons will no longer torment her.

I am
Different
Weird
Strange
Eccentric
A nerd
Or geek
But I accept that
It took a while
But I do
So whenever you use this as an insult
Just remember
I will take it as a compliment
This is me
How I describe myself
My adjectives