It's so hard
seeing couples
In the summer
At the beach swimming
Sharing lunch
Making breakfast for each other
Driving anywhere
Doing anything
When I can't with you.
I spend days thinking of you
Without you and wanting you
Some days we have our moments
Spending limited hours at a time
Calling and talking to you for an hour
Only to have you preoccupied
Lonely. Conversation scattered
You have the chance to see me for a whole day
But you say next month maybe
You won't
Work is more important than me
You say it's not
Do you see me cry when I hang up
the phone?
"I'm just tired" I say.
It's just hard I think
to stay this superficial against what really tugs at me.
Maybe I'm just selfish
You say you can picture me with someone else spending days with him that I could have someone else. How could you say that? They aren't you,
I shiver.
I just want to be alone with you for a day.
It's hard like stone. When the tears pour. I can't think like this.

The moon's still full
it shines so bright
I wish you were with me
Here, tonight
To fall asleep with
And hold me tight
Until those golden eyes close
To say goodnight

I'll heal your pain
Make you feel right
Always I'll be your guiding light.

One hand in the air
fingers outstretched
What is he reaching for?
No one holds his hand
as he is pulled in
the depths of 2 wide doors
men in suits roll him in
towards safety?
lights flash
I come closer
his hand
I want to wrap my fingers around his
he'll know
he can reach
like a child
who reaches for his mother's hand
the cookie jar, his favorite toy, the slight fear that turns into success
that fear becomes reality
he'll never reach.

To see you
Next to me under the covers,
Breathing sweetly beside me
I must be dreaming.
Your eyes are closed gently
Chest rises and falls nicely.
I wonder what goes on behind those eyelids.
All of that worry and frustration can't interrupt you now.
My fingers trace your skin
Like soft snowflakes falling.
You are so amazing.
Your body is warm
Just for me.
I fit in right here
So perfectly.
The happiest girl
I am
Just to see you
Sleeping with me.

The sky was black
twinkling with stars lit up all around
like you were the only person who could see
their incandescent beauty
and you were surrounded
smothered
in them
and being eaten
by these stars that were
just so pretty
dazy
wanting you just as much
enveloping you in everything they are
because they can't feel you
wish they could
and have this endless desire
to reach out for you
but they can't
and you wish to do the same

to touch them in all they are
be as close as you can
breathing with them
feeling what they feel
becoming numb
with a love for them
an adoration so great
you'll think about it
time and time again
until you can't remember
what it felt like
to love and be loved
by the stars
and you'll just look up
and wait.

Let's sit here awhile
Talk about the past
Dream of the path
I need life balanced

More importantly I need you

When my head is full
Of things unsaid
My bed is empty
Eye won't close

The visuals and memories in these lids

Until I'm with you
Walking with locked arms
Dancing for no one
But ourselves

Raining down on each other.

We fell asleep together,
I asked before:
"Is it safe here?"
"Safe in my arms."
And I felt the protection
from the warmth of your body
around me.

I woke up
to a note on your pillow:
I watched you sleep,
I love you.
Be back soon.
I was in an apartment,
your apartment.

I got up from the covers
peeked in your dresser drawer
tucked in the corner was
my pink underwear,
my book of short stories
next to your 3/4 sleeve shirts.
Down the hall in the bathroom
I found my toothbrush.
In the kitchen
chai tea.
The living room
a sketchbook and pencil.
Mine
in your apartment.

What a shame
you never came home
to me.
So I woke right up
when I realized it was a bad dream.