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sophiesteck Feb 2020
they say "the friends you make in high school
won't matter the rest of your life"
what they don't know, it that they will
they will matter because they know all of your secrets
they know everything that has happened to you in the last four years
they know the people you dated
the things you've gone through
why you got grounded
hell, even the guy you sent pictures to over text
that you ended up
deleting
because you knew your parents would never approve

so when they say "the friends you make in high school
won't matter the rest of your life"
is a lie
they shape who you become
they help influence you because more often than not
you have that one toxic friends
who always talks **** about people behind their back
but you'll never know if they were talking behind yours
the kind of friend that pressures you into smoking
or drinking
because they say things like "you're parents will never know
they're not here are they?"
or the type of friend who pulls you out of bed even when you're
not feeling up to going out because they're just
trying to get you to feel better

yes, they may have been a part of your life
but those nights you spent making bad decisions,
are nights you could have been calling a friend
or staying up all hours of the night laughing your head off
for some stupid reason
yes, they have been stolen away from you
but your slate is wiped clean
once you let those people go and get them out of your life

toxic friends can always be replaced with new and exciting ones
chose wisely
  Feb 2020 sophiesteck
mer
she doesn't know
what it means
all she knows
is that she
is going to
die

"cancer"

she hears the word
over and over
again
she asks her mom
what it means
there is no reply

"cancer"

she's eight years old
she'll never go to college
never kiss anyone
never
never
never

"cancer"

she hates hearing
that word that means
nothing
she cries
why will no one tell her
what it means?
  Feb 2020 sophiesteck
abby
We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love
We are exactly who we are supposed to be
  Feb 2020 sophiesteck
Grand Piano
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
  Feb 2020 sophiesteck
Samantha
Never mind, I take it back

Never mind, if you're still mad

Fine, but you'll just drag it out

Fine, nothing to talk about
You are digging yourself a hole, and don't say I didn't warn you
  Feb 2020 sophiesteck
lena k
you stole my light
when i told you to stop
and you ignored my red light
and kept going
like my body was undiscovered land
and you were a colonizer.
perhaps my asking you to stop
turned you on
made you hungry.
you looked at me with your hungry eyes
like i was fresh meat
for you to take and have for yourself
ignoring my stop signs
cries
screams
because i am nothing more
than an object to you
made for your manipulation and pleasures.
consent is key
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