janie

janie Feb 2015

What If

What if I say my heart is broken?
Would you be there?
What if i say my chest is cut open?
Would you wipe away my tears?
What if i say im no longer fixable?
Would you at least try?
What if i say im no longer breakable?
Would you know im about to die?
What if i killed myself tomorrow?
Would you accept that im dead?
Would you feel any sorrow,
As i lay on my death bed?

#alone #imissyou #unloved

Jan 2015

Lila Valentine

Us

We're all just suicidal kids
Telling other suicidal kids
That suicide is not the answer

True you know

#suicide #depression #kids

janie Jan 2015

Broken

I try to be strong... i try not to cry.
I wanna **** myself but I'm to scared to try.
Their words echo in my head... fat, ugly, unwanted.
All I wish for is mercy because inside I'm dead and broken.
You sat there as my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
When I am gone you will be filled with regret.
I am ready to slowly slide that knife across my neck.
I am a complete train wreck.
I can put on that fake smile, I can walk a mile in the rain.
But inside I feel so broken as I try to hide the pain...

Jan 2015

Lianna Walters

What I say vs. What I mean

“How are you doing?”
"I'm good, how are you?"
I'm not okay, I'm never okay, not that you actually care...
"You're so pretty!
"Thank you!"
No I'm not. I'm fat and ugly, everyone knows it.
"I love you."
"I love you, too"
Do you?
"I'll always be here for you. Just call me."
"Thank you, it's good to know I have someone."
Funny, I needed you when I was ready to **** myself, but it went straight to voicemail.
"Do you want anything?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
No thanks, I'm not trying to gain any more weight, Lord knows I don't need to.
"You should go to sleep."
"Alright, goodnight."
Sure, I'll go lay in bed and think about everything wrong with me until 3am, but I sure as hell am getting 0 sleep.
"I need you...."
"Okay, I'll stay for you."
You probably do. But when I need you it's another story.
"You're so quiet!"
"I'm tired."
I'm over-thinking.
"What's up with the sunglasses? It's not even sunny."
"You know I look cool!"
I've been crying and I don't want you to ask why.
"You'll get over this. You're strong."
"Thanks I needed that."
Hahahahahahaha! You're so freaking hilarious!
"Your poetry is so deep!"
"I usually write when I'm listening to sad music- it gets me in the mood."
**I write everything I'm feeling, you just never paid enough attention to know I was feeling that way.

Quotations= what other people say
Italic quotation marks= What I respond'
Bold= What I mean

#sad #depression #crying #hunger #payattention #youneverknow #whatimean #whatisay

janie Dec 2014

no one cares

This will be the last thing i write.
i don't know how much more i can fight.
everyday i ask myself, "why?".
i can't answer that, all i can do is cry. these will be the last words i say.
i hope they can touch your heart in so many ways.
Just know you're not because of this pain.
Before I knew you my tears already fell like rain.
I love you more than words can say.
I hope that I'll see you in the afterlife one day.
I had spread my wings and I was ready to soar.
But I just couldn't take this anymore. Don't cry, I'm not worth your tears.
Be happy because now that I'm gone so are all my pain and fears.
I know nobody cares.
Not even you even though you pretended to be there.

janie Dec 2014

Eyes

My eyes hold a dark story that I fear for people to know.
Everyday that story makes grow so cold.
They say its not my fault but I know that's a lie.
Everything I love I cause to completely die...

janie Dec 2014

Lack Of Love

Lack of love is what i posses.
I'm full of sadness i must confess.
I look back and take a look at my life.
And I think about how much I wanna die.
Every night all I do is cry.
Now I shall say my final goodbye.