i'm sad today.sundays
have a way of stretching my heart
til eternity's end
and back.
rubbed raw from the world's crying,
i felt alone in my pain.this dull ache
fills me with a kind of
e m p t i n e s s
that smothers my very breath,
that pulls me into a spiralling
        e n d l e s s
abyss.a kind of wasteland
littered with strange beasts
carved from anger and unhappiness
and dissatisfaction,
this place burns with deceit and hatred.
it's sewers putrid with the scent of
loneliness and sadness,
it's valley's stand tall built from
all of our imagined fears and worries.

and in the background i can hear a
ticking clock getting louder
with each tock.

all this space
and none of it mine.
my mind trapped
in the deep crevices
of the world's sadness.
nothing is as it should be,
too much greed and easy distractions
follow us all like shadows.
we're just ghosts,
old faded pictures
of the gods we used to be.
this is what hell looks like,
this is the hell we've created.
over indulgence bruising our already
mangled and somewhat fragile
heart space.the heaviness
unflinchingly honest in it's
drawing in,pulling out our
very souls through our
clothes and cars and cracked smiles.
sealed in this vacuum of silence
and terror,this hopelessness
sits hollow in the heart of
our collective consciousness.
the more we see,the more we know,
the more we know,the more we need
and want and the more we get
the emptier we become.
always,always more.
never satisfied,
enough will only be reached
when the world burns in the fire
of our insatiable gluttony.

there's an ache that corner's me
and seeps deep into my bones.
this place,this space is not my own.
i feel so lost here sometimes,
running in circles tryna bump into my
better self with her higher purpose.
the loneliness digs all the joy out of me.
i'm jaded.
the quiet seas of my mind and heart
calm only to allow me a vision
of the true depths of this
monstrous uneasiness
and anger and frustration
burning me
from the inside out,
scorching any remains of
a sanity i never claimed.
this piece of lint on my soul
threatens to stir more of
my long forgotten and forgiven
darkness from it's torn and restless
slumber.like a dragon breaking free
of it's ancient chains this time round
there will be no surrender,only a kind
of death that numbs every sense
and dulls all emotion.

i'm quiet on the inside

Blood red stone heart,bleeding fire and words.
trapped in an emotional vacuum
littered with the ghosts of heartbreak's past.
emotional skeletons
with empty eyes and numb cold stares,
promises unkept and expectations unmet
bruise and scar the fabric of this space.
time pulling forth the stolen moments
of make-believe kisses and cuddles,
tormenting,twisting and tearing
at the flesh of my sanity.
my mind plays with so many possibilities,
parallel lies that haunt those sweet silences
in between those sometimes
mellow music notes.
nostalgia
for a time and place that never existed
and a Me i never had the courage to be
ruptures my core,scratching at the surface of my Being
urging my heart deeper and deeper
into the depths of that
deliciously dark space

it's quiet and careless down here,
peaceful and pointless,
e m p t y
and stretching from eternity's end
and back