Out there I found
The enlightenment of Nirvana
Whilst the city lights
Burned bright in unforgettable fires
And the singer sang his love for you
I knew that I would have the calm of one
As I journeyed to the centre of the Earth
Finding the return full of heartbreak
But all I wanted to do
Was break on through
To the other side

Stances and poses stolen from guitar Gods
Hip shakes amping the sexuality
Audience love
And ego boosted
The nightly life of the rock star

Boredom and waiting around
Back stage the city that I only see
Taking advantage
Of groupie love
The nightly life of the rock star

Adrenaline coursing through the veins
Not a chance of dreaming soon
Alcohol or drugs
Can permanently fix
The nightly life of a rock star

Fields stretching out in yellow and green
The brilliant blue of the sky joining in the distance
A gentle breeze swaying the sunburnt grass
The crickets chirruping their piercing songs
Tranquillity is all around
The clean air fills the lungs
As the calm spreads throughout
Like a lover’s hand caressing the body
Or the warmth of the first hit of *****
Releasing the pain from within
All has disappeared
And I am one with nature
But its permanence is fleeting
The cold turkey will kick in
And as thoughts flood back
The tsunami of angst returns
The realities of life

And don’t get me started on interviews.
What a ridiculous process.
You are asked a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question
And answer with one.
But in the feedback,
They wanted more.
And you are not right for them this time.
They wish you ‘good luck’
And ‘try again in the future’
But why the **** would you?
When you did nothing wrong,
But answer their questions as asked.
What are you?
A ******* mind reader
******.

Recurrent fixations
Brain and body stuck in the white noise of pain and anguish
Their scratched records echoing time
Memories returning needing to be demolished
Films of sweat gathering on the surface of the skin
Itchiness and jittery thoughts
Hallucinations brimming on the surface
Pale from nocturnal lifetime
The vampiric urge to ingest powders of delight and death
The soul stripped of all life, but just one more fix
A fix to bring us back to life
Oh life, you are reduced to one meaning

Awakening to surrounding grotesqueries waiting for memories of night time revelries to reappear and brighten the face before thoughts become sick and obsessed on one ideal
Life, a permanent black punctuated by brief moments of pure white light whose glow depletes with every jab in the squalid, stinking, putrid conditions
Sickness seeping into every pore
Twisted souls kicking and screaming torments at the day
Calling for gods to release the pain
Listening at the night for the fireworks of relief
Control relinquished to flowers of romance
Their seeds vomiting life back once more

Shaking hands and rapid increase in the beating heart
Licking lips in anticipation whilst muscle memory rituals of bent, blackened spoons and vein raising ties pave the way for temporary bliss of pure white light and uncontrollable pleasure
My distorted life of dishonest and fraudulent ways return once more

Just tell me what it is you want
Don’t sit there and make me into a mind reader
Just say exactly what you want
Don’t complain about me behind my back
Saying I don’t do this and I don’t do that
When you haven’t told me exactly what you want
After I told you to be direct
Just say what it is you want
(For ****’s sake)

I saw some of the wannabe greatest minds of our generation, corrupted by the compulsion of capital,
Bow down in loyalty to the non-existent king whose propaganda talk of spite and hate seduced the minds of citizens,
Splintering the nation of once rational folk into troops of outraged souls.
I saw citizens their humanity revoked as neighbours stood idly by fearful that a fictional technicality would mean they were next,
The lawmakers presenting logics backed by shaky facts and figures exaggerated, plucked from the ether, as men do declaring the size of their ****.
I saw brother turn against brother for a non-existent belief in the greater good whilst all the while lining the pockets of the king and his wannabe greatest minds of our generation,
Their hate and anti-hate spewed onto the bonfires of vanities that is the home of the daily town square.
I saw the followers of Gods betray their philosophies and fellow worshippers predicated in the knowledge that all are Judas and only they have the true understanding of what God really meant,
Their esoteric knowledge not God given but used as defence for their power grabbing, humanity destroying acts executed with the upmost of callousness.
I saw him cry “How long before they banish my demons and pray the straightness into me making me a soldier of God and they as Christ?”
“No God of mine is full of spit and bile against fellow brothers and sisters who are who they are and proud to be so. I see through the flimsy guise trying to indoctrinate the public believing they are fools to be bent to their will.”
I saw the anguish and despair as the words fell on deaf ears, wanderers bypassing the truth unable to take up the challenge.
I saw the shameful and inferior minds of our generation, the ones they call the greatest, fellating each other’s egos armed with rhetorical daggers ready to be launched in the back,
Those smiling assassins destroying friends and colleagues all for the crown.
I saw lives slowly eroded, held ransom by the leaders of nations,
Grifters hawking the latest think tank theory of late night pub politics where patrons believe they have the answers to all life’s woes as seen through the beer goggles of rationality.
I saw humanity rise up, flex its collective muscles, refuse to back down, and slap the **** out of them,
Knocking great minds and kings back to the depths of hell or whichever cess pool they emerged from contradicting Darwin’s theory.