I found out you moved on,
you’re with another woman.

I felt nothing.

I thought I would cry,
tear my hair out over you—
but I think I love myself now.

My weekly therapy sessions worked.

she’s still waiting
she’s still waiting for that last call you promised
back in July thru a terrible august
she’s still waiting for her best friend to come home
but now all she has is a name on a stone
photo shoots with your hoodie
and you’re not in it
so many sunsets
and you’re not here to enjoy it
gone so young
never got you’re license
celebrate your sweet sixteen
let the balloons go in the wind
hoping that some how they’ll reach you
so unfair
she’s sitting by the window
she’s in your hoodie
but not in you’re arms
where she really wants to be
she’s still waiting for that last call you promised
back in july thru a terrible august
she’s still waiting for her bestie friend to come home
but now all she has is a name on a stone
but at least she has a hoodie to make up for it

two years ago
we were at church camp
i told myself i forgive you
i told God that i forgive you

i thought that if i forgave you
the nightmares would stop
the triggers would cease
and that maybe a could see you as a person
and not the person who took everything from me

but that’s not what happened
it all got worse
the nightmares became real
i wake up screaming
begging for you to stop

i don’t forgive you
i never will
i hate you
with all of my being

they know what you did to me
and the know what it did to me
yet they allow you to bother me
they allow you to be in the same room
they allow you to be in society

if wishes were bullets
you’d be dead to me