all in a group
talking after church
they asked you about a girl
you denied, denied, denied
you keep looking at me now
“she’s just not my type”
you’re looking at me
with eyes that wonder if i care
if im possibly jealous
it gives me a spark
a glimmer of hope
cuz why would you care if i cared?
i must be delusional

A Girl to Cherish

She maintains a steady gaze,
With desire, or makes my heart pursue her as a chase.

She has a smile that melts my heart
And pierces through the uncertainty in my head.

She is kind and modest, embracing everyone,

But she maintains a cold distance.
She is steady and keeps her space,
She doesn’t want to hurt anyone and wishes the same.

But her fate doesn’t let her desires come true.

That’s the secret behind her steady gaze.

Why does having food in my stomach
Feel like I failed

are they staring at me?
laughing at me?
my head hurts
“always in that dang room”
i don’t like me anymore
“get off your phone”
i didn’t eat lunch today
“you’re so skinny”
not enough
“gorgeous girl!”
am i tho?

Ugly ugly girl
You try so hard, but it never works
You paint your face to make it clear
You wear lashes so your eyes are big
And line your lips so they look full
You even try to fix your nose
The curl in your hair is to match your face
And the hairspray so it doesn’t go away
Lastly perfume so they say you smell sweet
Yet even with the money you pay
Or the time you spend
Stroking, drawing, blending for perfection
You still seem so broken
Like you’ve always been
It never goes away no matter how hard you try to cover it
Ugly ugly girl
You try so hard but it never works
You will never stop aching to be pretty
So you can be put back together

I’m never kidding,
When I say I need humbling.
Life goes too good for too long,
I get too popular winning at too much,
That I forget what it feels like to lose out,
And I risk everything.
It’s so silly,
Complaining about succeeding,
But sometimes I miss the days I wasn’t on the radar yet.
Because now that I have so much,
My vision is fogged by greed,
I forget how to treat the people that brought me here.
I never learn,
Until I lay askew and burnt,
When my luck runs out.

It’s not magic.