It's the continual
opening of the
eyes that disappoints,
not that sleep brings peace,
but it's the momentary
reprieve from life's
clenched fist, and
it's ruthless apathy.

Life is a toss of
the coin,
a roll of the dice.
Often, it's snake eyes.
As a kid, I always
thought that everything
would be alright.
Now I see the
randomness of
it all.

I'm always trying to
get back to Eden.
Sometimes, the
dreamer in me
forgets the futility.
The banishment is
forever.

Blood woman -

take your hands off my throat

for lack of breath

is a side effect

of wanting you

and I can’t breathe

for trying to tell you

that this lust is

killing me

Baby let me help redesign you,
you are a work of delipidated art,
Let me restore your shine,
      your luster, your being,
                  you. .  
                      for that is perfection. . .
                             or close to it. . .

I just didn’t expect
the tears
at least not mine
I was ready for everything else
or so
I thought
I just didn’t expect the pain
or to be asked to explain
I just didn’t expect the blame
or to be asked to explain

Learning to forgive and move on
Never said anything bad to you
Threatened by my differences
Causing conflict trying to feel superior
Not empowering a hungry ego
Not reacting or overreacting to your remarks
Don't have to explain myself your mind is made up
If I gave an opinion it becomes a debate to justify your misconduct
Quick to point out others flaws then notice your own
Failed but learning from it
Made mistakes changed behavior