Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
This one is different,
on the inside it’s a quiet forest reaching up toward a warm, pastel sky.
After a few moments I get this floaty feeling in my stomach and I feel like I’m being lifted into the sky.
Something inside me hesitates.
I squeeze my eyes shut to block the feeling out.
It hurts to look at this forest and this sky, because deep down, I know they’re not real. The tears come.
I try desperately to be quiet but, being incapable of it my voice is getting a nervous high pitch to it
Sometimes tears feel like broken glass
Like pushing a gem out of my eyes
Causing them to scratch and burn
Causing my vision to blur
And my lashes to wet
Sometimes the gems that are tears fall and shatter
Like the first drop of rain on the pavement that is my bathroom floor
Soon causing a puddle of shimmering diamonds
There's beauty in the sad
And pain in the beauty
Dear intruder in my mind
Skillfully you hide inside -
At length I search and seek you out
But you are nowhere to be found!
You wear me out, I run around
And can't find peace, But all the same
I know the secret of your game
Your voice inside my head is mine
The thoughts they loop
Comforting possiblity
That, still, you suddenly recall
The ultimate futility
Of doing anything at all
The best possible outcome
I have been mad, addicted
With conjuring your presence
I'm hopelessly afflicted
With longing for your essence
But I do not seek your attention
For you are but my mind's creation
It would be nice to face death
while being loved, not broken
:::::
while being held, not alone,
not sinking in a cold silence
:::::
while drowning in laughter
and not in tears,
:::::
while hair, though mostly gray,
still glows with love’s rays.
:::::
while dismissing the grieving
of those we shall be leaving
:::::
nothing could be braver,
it would be easier,
:::::
to accept, to welcome death
while in deep slumber's breath.
:::::
sally b

© Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
September 11, 2022
This poem was born after I read "DEATH WISH"
by LORI JONES McCAFFERY. Thanks, Lori!
I've had this dream before
somewhere I've been
her face familiar
from long ago
our conversation guided by acquaintance
it moved along in black and white
we walked among old ruins
and buildings long since unoccupied
through rooms of faded paint and old portraits
their frames thick with dust
outside we strolled through what appeared to be
a family graveyard
she stopped
turned and said 'do not be afraid'
stepped away from a headstone which carried my name
'after this life we shall be together'
she kissed my cheek and I was awoken
by the thunder of an oncoming storm
Do I need a mountain peak
and have my visage chiseled
in it? Or do I need a continent
named after me because I
conquered it? Or do I need
a religion I fostered by mysteries
and miracles to have multitudes
follow me? Or perhaps only a
touch of kindness, my hand upon
another's heart, that will reverberate
throughout all endless ages?

TOD HOWARD HAWKS
Next page