I don't know what to say because I keep going blank.
I hear your name and I start to blush.
I wonder if it will ever stop.
I'm not sure what to say or where to go but I know I will always find you.

I still get nervous like the first time when I saw the word read on my messages.
Wondering if this would be first of many times you wouldnt care what I say.
Won't want to know more and wonder when I will move on.
I'm sorry because I want to tell you all about my life.
About little details that probably make you think about something else.
The more you get to know me the easier it will be to understand.
That I get attached too fast and get send too many text to get your attention.
The attention you don't want me to have.

Welcome to the month that you hear everyone stories, then the people who usually just make fun of them say how much they care.
People like me suffer every day, but usually, no one cares.
Please don’t tell me to pick to be happy.
I didn’t choose to be sad.
I chose to live, which the hardest of them all.
Maybe dying would be more comfortable, but I won’t give up to be another static.
I’m not a number that will be seen in the news, and people who hated me will make a post about how much they loved me.
My pain isn't a way for others to make money.
Happy national  awareness time.
I hear you
I’m with you
Don’t fly yet.
There is still come.
I love you all.

Scared to ruin the friendship,
She hid her feelings as far down as they would go.
Not wanting to admit that the feelings never left.
Slowly making her crazy that they weren't together.
Not wanting to bring it up,
Smiling through the pain of seeing him with someone else.

I didn't know happiness could be so sweet.
I'm afraid to let my wall down,
Knowing all this could be gone.
What if I wake up and this all a dream?
I can't go back,
The scares are still fading.
My heart is broken, slowly getting back together.
I was knocking on death's door,
I'm finally Afraid of leaving.

I’m drowning in my thoughts,
Hoping one day I can finally be with you

I lost it all.
My heart was torn from the dark cloud.
My mind, twisted the most until everything was gone again.
Begging to stay,  but each day gets harder.
I lost it all.
The happiness that my body needs to survive.
I lost the smile but kept the pain.
One day this will be a story but right now I'm living in a dream.
Not sure if I will make it to the end.

I feel her heartbreaking as the tears roll down her cheeks,
Wishing I could carry her pain even for a second.
She looks up and says she will be ok,
With a broken smile.
I felt her heartbreak the second she opened her mouth,
Hoping she knows I'm not going anywhere.
We sit waiting for a moment to bring dryness to her eyes.
It hurts knowing I can't do anything but love her from afar.
I feel her heart slowly, realizing it's going to be whole again.

Give me a reason for staying.
Give me a reason to love you anymore.
I'm tired of not getting anything in return and waiting by the phone for a single text that never comes.
I wait and wait for someone to care about me but everyone passes by.
No one stops to say hello.
No one even says goodbye after breaking me.
Give me a reason to love anymore.
I can't do this anymore,
Please I'm tired.
I'm tired of missing someone that I can't have.

Was she nothing to him?
Were all the memories are thrown out the second he found someone prettier?
I remember the way he to look at her like she was the only person who mattered.
She was his world,
Now it's almost as if she ever even existed.

I like you.
My body is hurting from holding this secret.
Every text message feels like a bullet to my heart.
I see the way you look at other boys, not realizing I notice.
Should I move on Or wait my life away?

I fly; I fly until I can't anymore.
I fly; I fly until everything makes sense.
I wonder if one day I can finally stay in one place.
I fly again, hoping it will seem like a small memory in the end.

Around and around we go again.
Feeling too low to even breathe.
Begging for the day that forever will Finley end?
Hoping my pain won't be here tomorrow.
Around and around we go again.
I scream in my mind thinking someone will hear my cries.
No one comes because it's all in my head
Around and around we go again.

My hand is shaking,
The wind was yelling out your name.
Is this the sign of bowing down before it's too late?
I'm scared for the battle that may follow.
I found a broken bottle and saw myself holding the white flag.

I fall in love a little too fast.
My heart gets broken a little too much.
I will not regret those memories.
I fall too hard,
And smile too big about it.

She wrote her love story out when she was only fifteen.
Waiting for the guy she wrote about years ago,
She never found Anyone close until she met you.
You gave her all she ever dreamed about just to take it all back.
She used to smile at your text and she cries in pain reading it back.
She wished for the day you would say I love you.
Those words never came.
She wrote her love story,
Only to meet you the one who made her stop believing in happily ever after.

He never understood how a smile could hide,
A world was full of a terrible past.
He tried his hardest to love her, but it was too much in the end.
She didn't understand why it was her fault for loving too hard,
When growing up, that's all she ever knew.
She tried her hardest to move on, but it was too much to carry on her own.

I really can't sit still,
Falling over the simplest hellos.
Wondering if the phone will ever ring.
I need a new start,
A way out of this mess that I started.
Hoping I will wake up and see what's really in front of me.
This isn't who we are meant to be with.
It's a stranger disguising as our lover.
I really can't understand why I fall over the simplest hellos.

Listen
Please
I promise to be fast.
Your life is in danger, so follow me.
The love of your life is the monster.
He hides behind a wall of sadness
So far, he won’t be seen.
Text, go ahead!
He won’t respond
You think he is busy, haha.
If he loved you, he would respond.
He is locked away in his mind.
But you still want to go back.
Ok
I tried to warn you.

Stop this, please!
I can't keep falling for you,
You're the poison apple that tastes too good to be bad for me.
please leave me like the rest,
I'm not used to people staying this long

The cloudy sky started to crying,
That's when everything around went silent.
I looked for someone, but there was no one near to hear my screams.
The sky started to get darker than it ever had before.
I tried running,
I wasn't fast enough.
The clouds changed to bright red. I knew this meant game over.
Then out of nowhere, everything went back to normal.
My mind was seeing the future all over again.

The day my light starts to fade.
I look towards the window waiting for the storm to take over my mind.
From the moment of the rain pouring to the last drop, my body is frozen from the darkness.
Never worried about the next moment instead focused on the movie that is playing right in front of my eyes.
The rain saved me once before it will do it again.

I wish I could hold my breath long enough not to feel anything.
Just enough to be able to breathe at the end of the day.
At the moments when my mind can finally slow down.
I wonder if this is how normal people feel.
The type of people who don't have to fight themselves to stay here.
The type of people who cry when they are sad and laugh at the funny.
The people that make the coldest hearts warm at the end of the night.
I wonder If one day I will be that type of person or if this is the best it will never be.

Did I ask him for too much?
Was loving me just that hard?
I ask myself wondering why he didn't give me a text every day.
Wondering if he ever cared about me because why wouldn't he let me go In the end.
I gave him everything I had because I thought he was worth it.
I still have all the memories but now the stories are changing.
Now I look back and notice all the things he never did for me.
Did I ask for too much or was I not worth it?

When I compare my parents to a cloud this is what I mean.
They can go from beautiful to deadly within minutes.
A warning spreads as soon as there is a chance of it coming.
No one says a word each trying to protect them selfs.
Everyone hopes for the best but fears the worst.
Only one person ever tries to stop them before it gets too late.
I watch the sky for a warning of what will happen next.
Hoping this will be the last of it.

He hated living,
Making everyone suffer in his Presents.
She couldn't have more joy to give,
Barely needing sleep to survive.
He planned to leave this earth every other month.
She only wanted adventures,
Willing to risk anything for fun.
He hardly could leave his house,
Hoping this day, he wouldn't have to fight to stay alive.
He wanted to be her; she feared everything about him.

Maybe In another world, she would be in my arms.
Her head would be on my chest while We talk about our future together.
In another world, she'd live in the same city as me.
I may love others but she will Be my first real love.
The one I will tell stories about to my friends.
I watch her get hurt by other guys while I am still across the world watching through a screen.
Maybe in another world, she would be my person.
She is my protonic soulmate in my eyes

I hold him tight, knowing I'm safe.
He won't let me go,
Instead of hugging me back tighter.
I look up to his smile brighter than the stars at night.
I wondered if I could pause this moment to make it last longer.
If only he knew how much every little moment means to me.
I would give up anything to relive all the memories for the first time again.

Somedays, I dream of never leaving; until I open my eyes, I see how real the day becomes.
I beg for nighttime to come sooner to take me away from this place.

I watch you love her from the sidelines.
Waiting for my chance to come over and stop it all.
Nothing ever comes out of my mouth in time.
She leans over to kiss him while I'm trying not to cry.
She doesn't know how much I'm dying standing here.
I pick up a piece of paper hoping this will be my last time begging for someone
To notice me.
The visions in my head get stronger and my heart gets smaller.
The fear grows while the strength not to listen becomes more hopeless.

I don't want to fall again,
I'm not afraid of falling in love.
I'm scared to lose someone close.
All the memories will slowly disappear,
When I fall, will you promise to let me down easy?
I want to remember the good.

I miss you.
I want to turn turn backwards to say hi one more time.
Why did you leave me after months of saying you would stay.
Was everything else lies or do you really mean what you said?
If that's true then do I feel like I part of my heart is gone after all of this.
I wish you said goodbye.

Love me,
Hi, it's me again just checking in.
Wondering if you ever think of me or wish it ended differently.
Maybe it was never love but a fantasy that played in my head.
Did you ever think that we would end up together?
I thought the person in my mind was the one for me.
Missing all the red flags to stay with you.
When you made me feel unwanted I told myself you were just busy.
Oh, how wrong I was in the end.

I’m sorry for all the lies
The mean words that hurt.
The long nights of screaming
I didn’t mean any of it.
I love her.
My heart stops when I hear her voice.
How to prove to the world that I’m enough?
I won’t stop loving her.
I will sell my soul for this,
Never stop looking if she moves.
I find my other half
She would be here with me
If it wasn’t for you.

I'm sick of being second
Don’t call me to say that you miss me.
I spent all night crying over him.
I have no more tears to give, And my mind is racing of him.
Please tell me I’m still your number one.
I can’t stand to be your second, knowing he loves another girl.
That used to be, but now I watch him fall in love with his best friend.
When does the pain go away?

Tell me the truth
Do you find me cute?
I find the way you write beautifully.
Your poems are like magic to my eyes.
This all started with a simple hey.

Please don't break my heart,
I know fairy tales don't exist for people like me.
The love will fade. It always does,
Not for me, though. I will be stuck on him for as long as my heart lets me.
I love him,
Though Young love rarely makes it to the finish ends.
If the day ever comes when he's not in my life, I know it will be for good reasons.
Please don't leave my side until there is no other choice.

Why does this always happen at the worst times?
Can I ever get a break or is my mind too damaged from the past?
I’m happy for thought until I heard your name again.
When my mind went blank and all that was left was my memories of him.
Tears dripped down my face as an exit for the sadness that he caused.
I think he will be forever.
One day he will be so small that it won't affect me.
Until then I sit on my floor waiting for it to pass.

Sorry
A word that I use to shield myself from the pain that comes before it.
The thing that shuts down talks before it starts,
Makes tears turn into forgotten messes.
Makes those who love us turn into the deepest monsters.
Thinking when we say the word all is good again.
Not knowing, I hold on to the broken promises that never came.
Faking a smile that wants to fade but knowing they will get mad.
That this will be my fault if I say anything else but what their ears want to hear.
Twenty-one to the eye,
Inside the scared little five-year-old who knew too much for his age.
Sorry for….
Sorry, I didn't mean….
Sorry for it all…

If the world was ending would you be here next to me?
Would everything else just disappear and feel normal for another second?

I found my other half,
The one that makes me fall deeper in love after every call.
It only takes a text to make me break apart in smiles.
They don’t know how hard I'm dying to meet them again.
It's a different type of love that makes your heart flutter.
Or your mind races, waiting for your phone to ring.
I found them again, and I'm not losing them this time.

Hi! Isn't today a great day!
Hi.. please dont see behind my fake smile.
I have these ideas that I can't wait to do.
Don’t give in, try to hold a little longer.
I’m going to take over the world soon, I just know it.
Well I see next week?
No need for sleep,there is so much to do.
I slept 15 hours and I just want to go back to bed.
Will this last forever?
Will this last forever?

He used her.
He was the pretty boy with brown eyes
Hair was smoother than a new blanket.
She was the shy girl
Hiding behind words on a blank page.
She loved him
He used that to hurt her in every way.

Break me,
I don't care anymore.
I am ready for my faith, after all.
Are you?

He makes me believe in fairytales all over,
The sound of his voice reminds me of the calmness of rain falling.
I wish I could see myself the way he sees me.
He makes me believe in never-ending happiness; I used to think that wasn't possible.
I thought I wasn't worthy of all of this and should get prepared to get played until he taught me otherwise.
He makes talking about the future sound like forever.

Trust me,
The only words he said.
I node not sure how to respond.
All my words slowly disappeared without a trace.

I found my old letters.
The ones are saying goodbye, and I'm sorry for everything.
I found my old letters.
The ones that hold the darkest of secrets that no one is meant to see until I disappear.
I found my old letters.
That wishes to leave instead of staying.
I found my old letters.
Now, they are old words that I don't need.

Give me a chance,
I swear it will be worth it.
My love is as strong as the truth I have in him.
My love will last longer than anything he ever wants.
Give me a chance,
I promise it won't go to waste.
I'll be there whenever I hear your pain over the phone.
No matter the time, I will be over before the call ends.
Give me a chance,
I swear it will be worth it.

I can be your Nick to your Charlie.
Your Jess to your Rory if you give me a chance.
I can give you everything you ever dreamed of.
Maybe I overthink about falling again,
Falling in love for someone that doesn't know who i am.
Waiting for the day that everything makes sense again as to why we aren't together.
Why do I spend every day waiting for the one text to tell me how you really feel.
Maybe that day won't ever come, and that's okay.

I think I found the one,
The one that makes my heart jump up and down.
Not wanting the moment to end.
I think she likes me too.
She told me I was pretty but it could be all inside my head.
She smiled at me for a few seconds.
I think I found someone new,
She laughed at my jokes and made sure I knew.
Made sure I was paying attention to it.
I think i made her up.
Now she is gone,
No more smiles or laughing.
I told her I liked her too and she looked confused.
She said she was being friendly and didn’t mean anything else.
I think the end finally came.